Category Archives: Automotive

Automotive

Chevy Equinox Update

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10378911_10203083586543973_6056370072529631728_n

May 2013 I took delivery of a brand new Chevy Equinox.  Front wheel drive, V-6, 2LT trim level, tow package installed.   At this point it has passed 32,000 miles.
Let me give you the run down… About every 2800 miles its been getting oil changes and tire rotations done by Dealerships.  And by that I mean Marine Chevy in Jacksonville.  At 8,000 miles it needed a new battery which was replaced under warranty.  That’s been the only issue.  And really not all that big a deal.
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The little SUV has performed admirably.  Turning in great fuel economy… Far better than I would have expected. Better even than the 4 Cylinder versions are reporting.  Thanks to GM’s fantastic engine. Direct injection, a smarter transmission, gobs of power at the low end… The engine never really has to work hard.  Unless you ask it to.  And when you do, it delivers.  It has a lot of torque steer that you have to physically wrestle with, so hold on with both hands before you hammer it. And when you do, the car springs to life with a quickness and agility that’s unexpected. This makes my little SUV feel more like a Hot Hatch.   A very heavy, but powerful, big hot hatch.
As soon as you let off the gas again, the EQ is back to it’s normal sedate nature.  It cruises well, quietly and composed even at high interstate velocity.  Feeling solid and connected, it’s easy to gobble up miles with comfortable adjustable and heated seats.  Pretty luxurious stuff to this guy.
The touch screen is large and more responsive than most others I’ve played with.  Easy to navigate.  Syncing phones is easy as well… And the hands free calling works very well.  As does running music from the phone.  The only thing it doesn’t do is Navigation.  Which is crazy… Chevy not putting navigation in a car at this price level is just retarded. There’s also no update feature with this system.  You can update it with a USB, but there isn’t any updates for it.
Climate control is excellent with a very cold AC and a heater that you can bake a cake with.  It comes up to temp fast and cools down fast… Really once you set it to the temp you want, you can just ignore it… The system will handle the rest.
Remote Starter.  Remote hatch/rear door opening and close. Backup Camera. Alarm.  It doesn’t lack features… Save for Navigation.
The EQ is a handsome car too. I think they look good… But it could get a little more bravado in the wheels and tires department, maybe a little lift.
I think it just may be the best vehicle GM makes.  Its also the only vehicle GM hasn’t had a recall on that I’m aware of.  GM just did everything right on it… Save for the lack of Navigation.  The only problem really is the lack of personality.  Its a very Vanilla car. Its one that is easily forgotten.  It’s like the proverbial Nice Guy.  What it needs… Is a dark side.  A tattoo, a Honey Badger snear, and a pair of boots.  But even then it would probably still be too clean cut and polite about everything.

Automotive

Armchair Quarterbacking: FORD

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This is going to be brief.

1.   Thunderbird.   Bring it BACK.
Ford-Thunderbird-1955-EE.UU_.

The Thunderbird started out in 1955 as a hot little 2 Seat sports car, as an answer to the Chevy Corvette which came out a couple years earlier in 1953.  Unlike the Corvette, the Thunderbird grew large.  It transformed into a huge Lincoln Towncar thing, then morphed into this:

1987_ford_thunderbird

I had one of those, and it was awesome.  I had the Super Coupe version, rolling on Turbo Coupe wheels… yes, you had both options for forced induction… neither really gave a lot of power but both were great for long range interstate flights.

And then Ford did this to the Thunderbird:
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This was the 11th Generation of the Thunderbird.   Ford tried to do some Retro Styling to it and missed.  They took what could have been awesome and gave it all the bravado and machismo of this:

1991-Buick-Reatta-191476

How they managed to make a 2 seat, drop top Thunderbird as fun as a Buick Reatta, I have no idea.  But they did.  The 2002 Thunderbird was a huge flop and an automotive laughing stock.  So much so that Ford discontinued the Gen 11 Chickenbird in 2005.  This was even before I actually saw one in person.  And when I did see it, I laughed at it.  A lot.  It cried.

I only know 1 guy that liked his 2005 Thunderbird.  He bought one and loved it.  He said it was “Vogue”.  This isn’t him, but he looks like him:

Glee-Colfer-Born-Way_320

Not that there is anything wrong with that, but even he said the car was “too gay”.  He sold it a couple years later and bought a VW Beetle, because it was tougher.  He actually said that… and his Beetle has a build in flower vase.  He has since bought another Beetle.  This one has a turbo.  He’s learning.

So the car was a huge failwagon… Where did Ford go wrong?  With the Mustang, they took the retro theme and made it work.  By making it look modern with retro touches.  With the Thunderbird they took a car from 1955 and retro-Imaged it to the 1950’s vision of what the year 2000 was like.  When what they should have done was take a 1955 year car and make it look like current era modern and not past era future-vision.

Look, Ford doesn’t have a car that competes with the Corvette from Chevy or the Viper from Dodge.  Does it need it?  Yes.  Ford needs it.  Because Ford’s only performance machine is myriad different flavors or Mustang.  And the Mustang isn’t in the same league as the Vette and Viper.    Ford had the GT 40 Replica, the “Ford GT” for a very brief production run, and then killed it.  There are no more Ford GT’s so don’t even bring that up.  They are all in private collections owned by people who may drive it once or twice a year on their own property for a grand total of 6 miles annually.  That’s not a car.  That’s a trophy.  So shut it about the GT.  Ford needs something that has history name wise.  A recognized title.

What I’d do would be to put Ford’s design team in a bunch of Sports Cars, from across the board.  Miatta’s, BMW Z3’s, MG’s, Saturn Skys, Pontiac Solstice (same thing I know), an AC Cobra or two, the new Vette and the Viper… Then the Original, the 1955 Thunderbird.  Let the guys spend a whole day at the track.  No instruments.  No measurements.  Just drive the cars.   All day.  Enjoy the day.  And then tell them… We want a new Thunderbird, and put all that enjoyment into it.

2.  Bronco.

trollertr4

A Ford company in Brazil is making this.  They are calling it a Troller 4.  Ford needs to be calling this the Bronco and building it in the USA.  Make it a soft top, drop top, removable hard top like the Jeep Wrangler or Land Rover Defender.  The FJ is leaving the market, leaving really the JK Wrangler as the only real offroader option anymore.  Which is stupid.  So here’s what I’d do… Take another team of Ford Guys, and put them in a bunch of Rubicons.  Take them to Moab.  Spend a WEEK camping and living in the Jeeps, taking trails, having a good time.  And then the last day, put this Troller in front of them and tell them to make it a Rubicon.  Then build that.

EDIT:

#3.  The Ranger.

Ford needs to do a small pickup.  The market needs more options.  Even VW is working on one.  Ford needs to dominate this.   Just as small as the last ones.  Okay, maybe just a little bigger.  Not just a slight smaller truck like the Chevy Colorado, which looks like a chopped Equinox… Make it like the last Ranger.  But Modernized.  4, 6, and 8 cylinder options.  Same engine options as the 2015 Mustang.   2×4 and 4×4 options.  2 door, king cab, and 4 door options.  Keep it simple, keep it cheap, give it a good touch screen, make the little truck cool… and open it up so it can have massive aftermarket customizing options.   Make a Work Package, a Street Package, and an Off Road package… Mini Raptor.  Style them like the Raptor.  That same style grill and markings.

Automotive

The Bikes I’m interested in, at this moment.

6 Comments

You guys have noticed I’ve been posting about cars and trucks and such a lot more lately.  Probably it’s because I love cars and trucks – always have.  My first words were – and I’m not kidding here – “Vooma-Vooma”.  Those might not be words according to Webster’s, but they were my first words.   I’ve avoided looking at bikes too closely because, well, it’s painful to me because 1, I don’t have one and 2, I can’t afford one.    But let’s go ahead and look at some Bikes.  Because I’m in the mood to do so and it’s well past time.   I’m looking at a relocation soon and first order of business once that is done, is acquiring a motorcycle, even if I have to sell my car to do it.    There are some specific machines I’m looking at… They are shown in No Order:

KLR650

The KLR-650.  Like a Jeep Wrangler, I’ve always wanted one.  And like the Wrangler, when it finally came down to getting something – I always got something else…. And I’ve always kicked myself for passing on the chance.  But I’ve been on a new kick lately – I call it “Finally Getting What I’ve Always Wanted”.  Those things that I’ve always wanted… I’ve been getting them.  One of these days – I’ll get my Wrangler.  And In the Garage next to it will be a KLR-650.  Because.  I don’t know why I’ve always passed it up.  Maybe it’s because the WANT is better than the HAVE.  Or the fear of that being the case.  The newest version though addresses my two considerations that have caused me to pass it up.  1 is the KLR Doohicky and 2 is the seat.  That being said, the KLR is most likely going to be the bike I end up with next.    But we’ll see.

Star-Bolt-R-Spec

The STAR Bolt R Spec.  It remains in my mind as a bike I really want.  If I was to get a new bike – this is probably the bike that I should get, as it represents pretty much what I’ve been looking for… A simple runabout for pure cruising enjoyment.  Nothing fancy or special… Simple.  But satisfying… it scratches that “I need to take a ride” itch.  It has short legs… So not interstate travel… but around town on a nice day to run light errands and goof around… The Bolt-R is probably ideal.  That and I think it looks just awesome for what it is.   But I think really this would be a horse for the stable if I had other horses for more specific purposes of Sport and ADV.

redfz09

This bike… The FZ-09… I was with friends when I first got my hands on this one.  It’s the new style of “Standard Bike”.  But Yamaha took Standard and gave it a mohawk.  This bike would bring out the Hooligan in me.  It feels like it’s as light as a Mountain Bike, yet has Big Bore Punch.  That’s a wicked combination.  I could ride it nice and sedately passed the cops, and then when I get out of sight – instantly Wheelie like a total squid.   I could probably get this one before the KLR or the Bolt-R, it’s that likable when I see it up close.  And if you throw a leg over it – You will want it.   This bike also makes way too much sense.  It’s like that friend of yours that is way too smart for his own good and comes up with Evil Genius plans that sound perfectly well reasoned and logical and then they get you in trouble.

KTM 1190 Adventure 2013 basic model

Because one day I want to ride across Continents and screw BMW.    This is my Hail Marry dream bike.  Load it up with some luggage and a backpack and go hunt Orc with this bike.  It’s name is Adventure.  No, seriously, it is… the KTM 1190 Adventure.  There are two versions… Adventure and the Adventure R.  And I don’t care about the differences.  Either one would make me the happiest man on Earth… and then I’d want to go around that Earth.  Or at least Coast To Coast following back roads and exploring what needs to be explored along the way.  KTM should sponsored The Long Way Around instead of letting BWM take the show.

SuperDuke

This is the evolution of the concept that Yamaha’s FZ-09 was playing with.  KTM’s Super Duke.  If the FZ-09 was Dr. Bruce Banner, then the Super Duke is The Hulk.  It got big, gnarly and pissed off.  It’s a monster.  It’s brutal.  It’s a rage beast.  And that’s what I love about it.  This thing is all about aggression, making no apologies for it.   It’s the 2 wheel version of a Shelby 427 Cobra, but with less manners or concern for what is socially acceptable or politically correct.  This is a Dream Bike right here.   Should Hollywood buy the Uprising Saga and make movies out of them… I’ll have one of these bikes.  And I’ll take it to the California Super Bike School and have Keith Code teach me how to control this beast.

Vegas_Vegas_8-Ball

Keeping with the theme of taking a bike type and having a reasonable version and an dream version of it… This is the Dream Bike option for the Star Bolt R.    That Cruiser bike just for the sake of Cruising.  This is the Victory Vegas.  I looked at the 8-Ball version and love it… a lot… And then other versions.  There was one locally that was eyeballing before I left my job.  Had I not left that job – I probably would have got it.  The Vegas “FITS” me.  Head to Toe.  Or should I say Bars to Pegs?  This is America’s Other Motorcycle Maker… Victory pretty much has everything you would want in a Motorcycle like Harley, but done better.  Seriously – if you even THINK you might want a Harley – go to a Victory Dealership and take a good hard look.  The Victory is a step up.  It just is.

us-highland-viking-950-vtwin

Okay, now this is a bike that is intriguing me.  If I could find one.  This is a US HIGHLAND “Viking”.  It’s a Liter Class V-Twin.  Very light weight, very compact.  It’s what I loved about my beloved Honda Superhawk… without what I didn’t like about the Superhawk.  (Side Mounted Radiators) This bike could replace the all the other bikes on my list save for the ADV machines. There is something about this… I really want to get to know US HIGHLAND better.  They put out a bike… Read the Review from 2011 here.  It doesn’t look like they are marking the Viking or the Enduro that they were also developing.  I hope they enter the US Market as a serious production Bike Maker and not just Engine Builders.

 

Automotive

The Coolest Muscle Cars of All Time

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Hands down the Golden Era of Muscle Cars was 1966 to 1974 .  Those years were the most awesome years in the history of the world.  Through time frame American Car Makers were not afraid to try new things… to be as badass as they wanted to be.   Forget the little British Sports Cars… with their silly little go-cart motors.  American Muscle Cars were all about the big beefy V-8 engines and body stylings that blow a girl’s skirt up just sitting at a stoplight at idle.  Muscle Cars were Awesome.  All of them.  But some, are more awesome than others.

Here’s my list in No Order.

Boss302Mustang

The 1970 Boss 302 Mustang.  This car was Ford’s top of the line Mustang the year I was born.  Maybe why it’s been my favorite.  The Elinore and the Bullit Mustangs are undoubtedly cool… But 1970 302 is my Unicorn.  It’s one of those cars I’d go back in time, buy several, and put in a Time Capsule for my own pleasure back in the future.  In 1971 though, the Mustang really started to go to hell.  The ’71 and later Mach 1 body styles were disgusting, and then in 74 the Mustang II took over… *shudder*  But in 1970 the Boss 302 Mustang was at the zenith.  Handled better than the Boss 427, and actually tracked faster.  It was just good.  Ford hasn’t been able to hit again since the 2015 Mustang… which will become the best Mustang Ford has ever made.  But we’ll see if it stands up to the mighty 1970 Boss.

69DodgeCharger

The 1969 Dodge Charger.  The classic Dodge Charger had great lines.  Streamlined while still being “Muscle Car”.  Bo and Luke Duke?  Admit it – you watched The Duke’s because of the girl in the short shorts that drove the Jeep.  We all did.  But if you painted your Charger bright Orange to look like the General Lee – You suck at Life.  Because of that one TV series – there is a drastic shortage of good classic Chargers.  And too many of them are Orange.  The show burned through so many of them, it’s criminal.  But there are some left out there in the wild.  And if you find a good one – It’s a rare thing of beauty now.

1979ChevyChevelleSS454

This is the Baddest of the Bad.  The 1970 Chevy Chevelle SS 454.  The most powerful factory installed engine of the Muscle Car Era.  It was Big and Bad and embodied everything the Muscle Car stood for.   If it was any more powerful it would come with it’s own Wookie Mechanic and would outrun Imperial Cruisers.  These are the real “SS” cars that Chevy seems to have forgotten about.  Later year versions of the Chevelle would feature only one headlight on each side – but I don’t think those are quite as menacing as the dual headlight cars.  The SS looks like it wants to throw you a beating.
You can see these cars in action in DEMOLITION MAN, and JACK REACHER.  Two movies which are worth watching just for the Chevelles.  That and Sandra Bullock’s ass in her Police Uniform in Demolition Man… Wow.  Just wow.

pacino-great-ass

Yes.  That was my reaction when I first saw that.

Edit:  I was wrong.  As pointed out by an astute reader, Demolition Man featured the Olds 442.  I was wrong…  My memory was faulty.  And I’ve not watched DemoMan in a couple decades.  Here’s the Olds 442:

1970_oldsmobile_442

They do look very similar, but the front grill is distinctly different.   Forgive me… I was distracted….

Dat_Ass

Moving on… The GTO.  Pontiac’s Greatest Thing Ever.

1967GTOBlack_dsfg

Specifically the 1967 Pontiac GTO.  This is THE CAR… This is one that defined what a Muscle Car was all about.  It set the rules.  It established the very definition.  This was Muscle Car Purity.  There are a lot of different versions of the GTO, but in 1967 Pontiac got it just right.   The right balance of size, weight, output, and looks.  As far as car designs go, it shows that it’s a 60’s era car, but it’s a design that has aged very well…. so well in fact, that they actually look better now. These are the Jane Seymour’s of Muscle Cars.  When one drives by, you can’t help but to stare at it.  There is just something about it.  Just like Jane Seymour.

67Impala

1967_chevy_impala_motivator_by_anthonyaiken-d34gthw

The TV Show Supernatural has 3 Leading Characters.  Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, and the ’67 Impala.  This is the show that eclipsed Firefly as The Coolest Show on Earth.  It has Classic Rock Music, Guns, Monsters, and this Impala.  The Impala is just flat out cool.  Old School Muscle Car, with refined looks and a nice feature that makes it practical for every day use.  Four Doors.  Looking at my other choices – this is the only one with four doors.  I find that kind of odd…. as I don’t have anything against four doors, but most look like grandmother’s sunday barges.  The 67 Impala has something rather menacing about it that later Impalas lost in the 70’s… and really have never regained.

Out of this short list – If I could pick one that the Gods of Torque and Recoil could bestow upon me… It would be between the 302 Mustang and the Chevelle SS 454.  I think I’d have to take BOTH.  And of course the GOT&R would nod sagely and give me both… Because they are just awesome that way.

Honorable mentions going to the ’70 AMC AMX, the ’71 Olds Cutlass, and the Buick GSX.  But really… those cars were just taking cues off of these cars.

 

Automotive

America’s greatest car.

10 Comments

Let me ask you guys a question.  What is America’s greatest car?  What car is the icon of all that is America?  Maybe we should ask those that don’t live in the USA… What car do they see in the American Dream?  The symbol of the United State…  The 4 wheel statue at the top of the flag pole.  Eh, who cares what Jeremy Clarkson thinks… This is our car we’re talking about.  America’s car.  What is that car to us?

Is it the Mustang?

2015-ford-mustang_100448877_l

The Mustang is now 50 years old.   And it’s been mostly a good 50 years.  Never mind the Mustang II years… 1973 to 1978… Those were terrible years and I am not convinced anything good came out of those years.  Interestingly, ’73 to ’78 were the very same years as the run of Kojak.  Telly Savalas may have single handedly saved The 70’s, I’m not sure, but it sure wasn’t the Mustang II.  Side note, according to the Wiki, Consumer Reports recommended the Gremlin over the Mustang II.  Ouch.  That stings.

Maybe America’s Car is the Corvette.

Ferrari and Lambo can go back to Italy.
Ferrari and Lambo can go back to Italy.

The Corvette is now well over that 50 year mark.  It too has a long and storied history marred by that awkward time through the 70’s.   But overall, the Corvette weathered that storm and really never forgot what it was quite like the Mustang.   The 2015 Corvett’s styling is brilliant… it blends hallmarks over everything the Corvette always was, with everything the Mad Men at Chevy want the Corvette to be. Then they put in the best interior that the Corvette has ever had.  The best seats, the best dash layout, the best cockpit area… It’s the promise of the Corvette finally fulfilled.  Driving one, just for a few minutes, tells you that the Corvette has finally arrived.  For it to be any better than this – It will have to run on a Mr Fusion and fly.

Both the Mustang and the Corvette share one thing in common for me.  I never really wanted one until the 2015 Model year for both the cars.  If you look at the development of these cars, you see a progression of development, with both cars getting better with every year… but 2015 marks what is probably the pinnacle for both platforms.    Maybe overall the Mustang had a lead.  Especially in 1968… Because of one man.  No, not Carroll Shelby*.  But Steve McQueen.

Bullitt_mustang

I think overall this is what saved the Mustang through those lean 70’s years.  That and the fact there really were not a lot of good options during that time anyway.
In 2004 is when Ford started taking the Mustang seriously though.  That’s when Carroll Shelby came into the scene, bringing with him the Cobra packages.  Mustangs all the sudden became something more than just a habit for Ford.  It became a real thing again.  Something that they could actually show some pride in.  They had gone past the Fox Bodies – which really were not all that bad – into that newer clam shell topped car that was just… not all that inspiring. They were like a place holder car until Shelby bolted in an Awesome kit.    Come on, Ford’s Special Vehicle Team couldn’t do anything with it… The best work that they had done in some time before or since with any car was the Contour.  When automotive journalists compare the SVT Contour to a BMW M3, that really says something.  Too bad nobody paid attention to those journalists.  Come on, SVT’s biggest idea for the Mustang was a 4 cylinder turbo.  They should have put that in the Contour and supercharged the Mustang.  Or something. I will give them credit for the Lightning… because that was awesome… and the Raptor… because that was even more awesome.  But without Shelby, the SVT guys were just lost.

Okay, now here’s the thing though… America’s best selling car isn’t a car.  According to AutoBlog, the top 10 vehicles sold doesn’t even have an American car in the list.   You see that the #1 rig is the Ford F-150, and #2 is the Chevy Silverado.   It’s been said that Ford sells about 6 F-150’s every Minute.  But best selling doesn’t necessarily mean best vehicle.  Motor Trend (my favorite American’ Auto-Rag) named the Ram 1500 as the Truck of the Year for 2014.    I have to say, that’s a good choice.  I drove a Ram 1500 from Vernal, Utah to Las Vegas, Nevada and I have to say… it was incredibly comfortable and incredibly smooth.  It was a joy to drive.  And that was, what, a 2012 model?  The newer ones have got nothing but better.  I especially love the storage boxes above the wheel wells along the sides of the beds.  That’s smart.  And the fact that you can get 28 MPG’s on the highway – thats’ incredible.

More than Car Guys – Truck Guys can get seriously argumentative over who has the best truck.  Ford – Chevy – Dodge – Toyota… They battle like the families in Game of Thrones.   I’ll let you guys decide which Family is which Brand.  For me, there is something wrong with Ford F-150 that I can’t put my finger on.  Maybe it’s the looks.  I HATE the look of these new F-150’s.  They look like they were designed by Mayan-Cylon Architects.  That’s not a good look for a truck.  I’m not a fan of the dual turbo V-6… Ford’s EcoBoost.  Sure, it’s popular and guys that have it love them.  But I’d rather have the 5.0 Liter…   Now, the Ford’s 5.0 is said to put out more power than the 5.3 Liter Chevy V-8, but the Chevy’s has Cylinder Deactivation for more efficient highway driving.  When trying out both trucks, I really can’t feel a difference.

As I have mentioned before, I do like the Chevy interior better than the Ford’s.   The Ford’s feel like you are flying in Coach Class by the Emergency Exit.  You might have plenty of leg room, but you don’t really want to be there.  The Chevy’s is more comfortable, with a better layout all around.  So I think between the two I’d take the Chevy**.

Overall, in my opinion, America’s Car for 2014 is the Chevy Silverado.

*The fact that Dodge locked up Shelby to merely gussy up some ulgy hatchbacks is something America should never forgive Dodge for.

**Actually most likely I’d take the new 2015 Chevy Colorado.  With a V-6 of course.  For economy reasons.  This is a class of Truck that Ford has ignored for some time now.   But that’s another topic.    But if I was rich and could just buy whatever I wanted – The Silverado High Country edition with that 6.2 liter engine… Just because.

Automotive

Armchair Quarterbacking: JEEP.

22 Comments

I’ve not come to terms that Jeep is now owned by the Italians.  Fiat of all things.  Who could have guess that would happen 20 years ago?  Fiat, the makers of cars that break down more often than cars from Jaguar.  Fix It Again, Tony… now has Jeep in it’s pocket.  This is the automotive equivalent of Jennings owning Browning.   It’s an absurd notion… But Fiat made some good moves and positioned themselves to buy Lancia, Alpha, Ferrari, and Maserati… Unbelievable.  Now they own Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep.  Boggles the mind.

I think that this is the reason that Jeep is probably the most Bi-Polar of automotive brands.  When one says “Jeep” it invokes a mental image.  One of rugged outdoorsiness.  A majestic warrior off-roading rig perched on a mountain ledge like the Lion King, chin into the wind and looking stoic.
Jeep_King

That’s “Jeep”.  That’s what we think about.  We think about taking Jeeps through deserts and mountain trails hunting Orc and Adventure.  And that’s been The Jeep Thing for decades.  But unfortunately Jeep has become this:

900_acc070611_2_

The new Jeeps, the Patriot and the Compass are a pair of Dodge’s trying to look butch.

WTF?

This is Automotive Evolution gone wrong.  While some companies are making better and better vehicles all the time, Jeep is kinda… going the wrong way.   These butch little Mall Hunters are not keeping in the spirit of the brand.  The Identity.  I swear to heaven that I saw “It’s a Jeep thing” on the back of a Compass.  Do you know why?  Because people are forgetting what a Jeep thing is.  This is an utter failure of the Brand.  To keep up with the Lion King train of thought – this is most fitting:

Jeep needs to Remember.  They need to kill off the Compass and the Patriot.  Get rid of these pathetic little Cute-Utes and return to it’s core.   To do this, they need to bring back two vehicles in updated versions.  First.  The Wagoneer.

jeep-wagoneer

Jeep has defecated on the Wagoneer badge… Used it like a Trim Package that just put terrible wood patterned vinyl on the sides of Cherokees and Grand Cherokees.  I’m talking about bringing back the real thing in an updated version.  A real honest Wagoneer.  Full sized, no apologies.   Jeep doesn’t think this can work, so they have not done anything of this sort.  But it does work.  And I can prove it as evidenced by exhibits A, B, C, D, E… I could go on, but you get my drift now.   Jeep had that.  A full sized, luxurious, commanding vehicle that could carry people and cargo and tow just about anything that needed towing.    I still see them on the road once in a great while… and they are beautiful.  I had one once… and letting it go was a huge mistake.  It was awesome.  Jeep needs to bring this back.  Do some Retro Styling on it for the sake of Identity, but build it on a RAM 1500 platform.  Body on Frame.  Give it some off roading chops.  And give it three engine options.  The 6.4 liter “392” Hemi for the Petrol Guys.  The 3.0 Liter V-6 EcoDiesel, for those family guys wanting economy and room.  And for those that need to tow heavy things… the 6.7 liter Cummins Diesel.   Give it three Jeep trim levels.  The Limited, the Overland and the Summit in keeping with current Jeep SOP.

Jeep_Wagoneer_Lifted

And maybe a stripped down version for the Die-Hard off roading Jeep Enthusiasts.  Keep it simple, straight forward, honest and truck-like and guys will cheer and sell their houses to buy it.  Ram does this with a version of the 1500 truck and it sells well to those guys wanting to hotrod it out.

The new “Cherokee“?  I hate it.  It may be a decent all roader and something people are wanting – vehicle class wise.  But come on.  For the love of all that is holy at least make it look like a Jeep.  Make it look like a smaller Grand Cherokee with similar styled lights and grills.   What you have now is alien and disgusting.

Batarians_Codex_Image
Not in a good familiar and hot way.Avatar-bug-eyed-alien-1

You get my point?

The other vehicle you need to bring back… Is one of your pick up trucks.  There was the Comanche and others… and they didn’t sell well, because Jeep was owned by people who didn’t know what they were doing.  But they did make a solid truck.  They just didn’t know how to market it.

1980 Jeep truck

People want Jeep Trucks.  And they are willing to pay for them.  Do you want to know how I know?  See the Brute and tell me people don’t get weak in the knees like that.   You guys tried with the Comanche. But that failed because quite frankly, that was a stupid idea.  Cutting down a unibody into a pickup?  Who’s idea was that?  It was so bad, that your Dealers had to ask you to stop it.  But the Brute shows us something.  The Brute shows us that Gladiator Concept was a good idea.   The problem with the Brute is that it’s expensive as hell.  Too expensive.   As is everything with a Jeep badge these days… but the Brute is just stupid expensive.   You get what I’m saying.  Make the Gladiator and make it simple.  If you did that… Adventurers would be applauding around the world.

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Automotive

Armchair Quarterbacking Chevy, Part 2

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Continuing my Armchair Quarterbacking of Chevy; it’s time to look at the SUV’s and Trucks.

2013_chevrolet_equinox

This is my ride.  A 2013 Equinox 2LT.  I own this.  I got it brand new last May in 2013.  I added a trailer hitch to it and other than that, it’s bone stock.  This is a great car.  Well, it’s really a crossover SUV according to the Auto Industry, an SUV/Truck according to Chevy, and a Station Wagon according to my friends.   It’s got a direct injected, 3.6 liter, multi-fuel, V-6 engine that cranks out over 300 horses.  It can really haul ass. I love the big bore looking dual exhausts.   I’ve got 15,000 miles on it now, and the only problem I’ve had was a bad battery that was replaced under warranty at 8,000 miles.
Here’s the problem though.  I keep calling it a car because it doesn’t feel like an SUV at all.  SUV/Truck?  There is nothing truck-like about it and there never well be.  It’s a Station Wagon.  Even the All Wheel Drive versions… are just all wheel drive station wagons.  So let’s improve upon what it really is.
What I don’t like about the EQ is the lack of testosterone in the Shifter.  When in Manual Mode, to up and down shift you have a tiny toggle think on the shifter.  Come on.  Let me play with that stick.  I want to move the stick to shift.  Not toggle the button.  And also, when in manual mode, make it stay in the gear until I manually shift it.  And if I want to down shift – let me down shift it.  The EQ’s Manual mode has no control over anything – it only takes your command as a suggestion that it will consider later, down the road.  Manual Mode should also involve a sport setting.   An SS version would be nice too, because… Reasons.  Really there should be an SS version of everything.  Because having the option of More Power should always be available.

2014_chevrolet_traverse
Keeping up with Chevy’s evident idea of taking one thing and making it a bit bigger… The Chevy Traverse is to the Equinox what the Sonic is the Spark.  Basically the same damn thing a bit bigger.  Again, this is supposed to be an SUV.  What it really is, is a Mini-Van.  Anyone telling you differently is selling something.  The Traverse really is a nice vehicle.  They sell very well, as I see millions of them on the road, just like the EQ’s.  But they should be called the Transverse because it’s just a cross-dressing Mini-Van trying to look a little more butch.  It even has Eyeliner.

2014_chevrolet_traverse_Eyeliner

Not that there is anything wrong with that…
What Chevy really needs to do though, is get off it’s ass and bring back the Trailblazer.  Here’s a rendering of what that could look like:
2015-chevrolet-trailblazer
Now THAT is a freaking SUV.  And Chevy, when you do this.  Don’t make it like how Dodge did the Durango and Ford did the Explorer… That’s what the Traverse is… a huge bloated Station Wagon.  No.  Base it on the Colorado.  Truck First.  What you need to do is make it something that can compete with Toyota 4Runner.  Something that has some actual Off Road capability instead of the rival’s Dirt Road capability.  Make the Trailblazer live up to it’s name.  Give it the comfort of a Jeep Grand Cherokee, but the clearance and ruggedness of 4Runner.  That’s the target.  People would go BONKERS for it.  I’d trade my EQ in on it.  Engine options would of course have to start out with the 3.6 Liter V-6, but then give it that 5.3 Liter V-8 option.  Because – BALLS.  That’s something missing in the Off-Road market.
Colorado

I’m loving the new Colorado… or what I’m seeing of it.  Dropping it was a mistake.   I really liked the last one.  I did.  I had a friend who got one and I was jealous.   A great little truck.  But it was rather gutless.  You had rather weak engine options in it.

Chevy really needs to do something to answer to the Ford Raptor.  Toyota brought out some cosmetic upgrades to make their truck look like a Raptor type Rig… but it’s only weak sauce.  So here is what you do, Chevy… Go to YouTube and watch every video on something called the King of Hammers.  Eat Bacon.  Listen to Heavy Metal. Go shooting.  Grow a beard.  And then eat some more Bacon… and then let your engineers do a version of the Colorado called the Hammer.  Give it some serious performance chops, and make it a freaking Off Road Super Hero.  And put one in every Dealership.  Get the Hammer Pro Team out and run it to the North Pole like what Top Gear did with the Toyota.  Run it around the Nurburgring like what Ford did with the Raptor.  Promote the hell out of it and show the world that Chevy has it.

One last thing, Chevy.  Remake the Avalanche on the Colorado platform instead of the Silverado.

Automotive

Armchair Quarterbacking: Chevrolet. Part 1.

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I’m going to run through all the major automakers in a series.  Since I’m driving a Chevy and my last cage before it was a Chevy, it only seems right.  So, let’s start at the bottom.

chevy_spark

The 2014 Spark.  The Spark is designed to be an entry level city car.  Small, and economical… It’s a cheap car.  There are some comfort upgrades, but not many.  For what it is, it’s designed very well.  This is the spiritual successor to the Metro.  My wife bought one and we actually had it for a great many years.  That was a good solid little car and I would expect this to fill that nitch… so I understand the Spark. New for 2014 though is a new CVT automatic transmission.   That version is a total dog that gives up fuel economy, speed, acceleration, and makes the car feel a lot cheaper than it is.  Don’t get the CVT version.  Get the 5 speed Manual.  The car will be more fun and you’ll get more out of it.  And it will probably last a lot longer as well.
Here’s what Chevy needs to do with the Spark.  They need a Hot Hatch.  The Automotive Journalists like to compare the Spark to the Fiat 500.  Not the hotter Abarth version of the 500, just the base 500.  The Spark is better looking, with a better ride and a better interior.    Chevy needs to drop some Turbo into the Spark and call it the Hot Spark.   It needs some more energy.   It doesn’t have  a lot of room for bigger brakes, but some cross drilled rotors will help.  Body Paint the calipers on that.  Give it some aggressive suspension.  While doing that, give it some race styled wheels and some sticky rubber.  Offer the Hot Spark only in a 5 speed manual.   Have some fun with it.  Oh, and one last thing.  Put the Dash back onto the Dash and not the Steering Column.  The way it is now is kinda just stupid.  The half analog and half digital dash configuration… Just go all digital and call it good.  Please?

chevy_sonic

 

The Chevy Sonic is basically the bigger brother to the Spark.  Everything I said about the Spark can be applied to the Sonic.  The Sonic is slightly more expensive, slightly bigger, but not too much and it’s in fact “Just Right”.  I was initially thinking that the Sonic would be comparable to the Ford Focus or the VW Golf…  Unfortunately it isn’t.  It competes closer to the lesser Ford Fiesta, or a Dodge Dart.  There is a turbo version, but the 1.4 liter engine they put the turbo on is just not quite enough.  At least the Sonic is built in the United States, so I do like that.  A lot. Which means I like the Sonic a lot more than the Spark.  The Turbo version comes with a snarlier Borla exhaust.  This lets the Sonic make the right sounds, but it still isn’t making the right moves.  I think this is just a much nicer car all around than the Spark.
Again, there needs to be an angry version.  The Turbo doesn’t do enough for it because there just isn’t enough engine under it to make a lot of difference.  It also has that half analog and half digital type dash that the Sonic has – which really irritates me a great deal.  Give it an all digital dash.  Or a GTI style analog dash.   I have to say I really like the way the Sonic looks.  Chevy needs to up the trim levels into an SS version and really knock on the VW GTI, Focus ST doors.  Chevy – you can do it.  And it would be completely awesome.

Given the differences between the Spark and the Sonic… I’d just drop the Spark all together.  We don’t need to import a South Korean car to compete with the  Made in the USA Sonic.   The base versions of the Sonic and Spark are only like 2000 difference.  You can make the difference by dropping features to cheapen the Sonic down to Spark levels, and adding enough to really make the Sonic what it wants to be.  A Hot Hatch.

chevy-cruze

The Cruze is a solid little car.  It’s what the Chevy Cavalier used to be… Something for Rental Agencies, Municipal and Corporate Fleets, and Pencil Necks.   It’s a good looking car, for what it is.  It looks like it could be sporty.  It looks like it could compete with a Civic or Corolla or an Altima from 10 years ago.   It’s not a bad car and it’s very economical.  There’s a diesel version that’s new…  which will make this a great economical option for that want to just blend into the background… be one of the masses.  This is the anonymity for the Meek and Mild.  These are cars for Eunuchs and Librarians.   There is no sex appeal at all.  The Cruze is what replaced the Cobalt.  Which was a car that had a lot of spirit.  I really liked the Cobalt.  The Cruze though…  doesn’t have any of that spirit… none of the moxie.  It’s rather sad.  What makes it even more sad is that in other markets, there is a hatch version which actually looks badass.
2012_Holden_Cruze

Not bad, eh?  Too bad… You can’t have one.  Which is a shame, because it really takes the Cruze up a notch.  Now here’s the thing… Chevy could amp the Cruze up if they wanted.  Add the Super tag to the Sonic and add it to the Cruze.   The Super Sonic and the Super Cruze.  Yes, SS versions.  The DNA is there.   Throw twin turbos on the Diesel (instead of the one small one) and slap a Duramax tag on there and give it a monster exhaust note.  With some good torque under the Diesel Cruze  it would have some machismo as well as good economy.  The Cruze doesn’t have to be a Bean Counter’s Ride.   Sure, have the versions that are all about being economical.  But give it some versions that EARN that BOWTIE BADGE.

The Malibu.  I’m not even going to post an image of the Malibu.  Drop the Malibu.  Just get rid of it.  Why?  Because you can have trim options of the Cruze that go up and the Impala that could go down that could overlap the Malibu and be done with it.  Maybe I’m biased… But I’ve always hated the Malibu.  I’ve hated the name, I’ve hated every time I’ve ridden in one, and every time I’ve driven one.  It makes the Cruze look like the good looking sister.   Just make the Malibu go away.  It really doesn’t fill any nitch.  It’s like that weird looking Ginger in the Butterfinger commercial.

I’m just not comfortable with that.

Chevrolet-impala

The Chevy Impala.  I love this car.  It’s one of my very favorite cars for 2014.  I could happily have one and drive it for the rest of my life.  I love it that much.   The Impala has been a name plate second only to the Camaro and Corvette in terms of Chevy Iconic Heritage… Because there has been some ultimate badass Impalas in Chevy’s history.
But the new Impala isn’t one of those.  It’s good though.  It’s very good.  Now, let’s take a quick look at the Caddy CTS Vsport.  Linking you here to a simple review from C&D.   The CTS Vsport and the Impala have the same base engine.  It’s the same engine that is in my Equinox.   It’s a good engine.  It’s a great engine for an entry level Impala.  But the CTS Vsport throws in twin turbochargers that bumps the power from just over 300 horses, to an impressive 420 angry warhorses.   The Impala needs this as an option.  And here’s why they should do this…
Chevy brought out the Camaro Z/28 for 2015 and in doing so they threw caution to the wind and said “screw it” to all conventional thinking.  They gave the Z/28 EVERYTHING they could.  From suspension and brakes to engine and transmission.  They crossed all the lines and turned a Muscle Car into what everyone dreams a muscle car could be.  It fulfilled the muscle car promise.  They didn’t care if it stepped on Corvette toes.  Screw it, they said.  Let the Corvette stand on its own merit.  No protected territory here.
Chevy needs to do that to the Impala and bring out an SS version.  Because every Car Guy is waiting for that.   So what if it steps on the toes of the Chevy SS… Let that car be it’s own thing – We’re talking about the freaking Chevy Impala here and that means something to a lot of people.   The Impala badge isn’t ready to retire to a Golf Course.  Not with this American Resurrection of the Muscle Car Era.

As far as the Chevy SS goes.  How come a factory Supercharger is not an option?  Where is the hood scoop and the Supercharger?  The Chevy SS is a car without Tradition.  Calling it just the “SS” I think was rather stupid.  Chevy’s history is that the SS was a Trim Level and not a Name Plate.  This was a Mistake.  People know what an Impala SS is… or a Chevelle SS.   But just as SS?  Where’s the Tradition?  Where’s the Heritage?  It’s just out from the wild blue, here’s a rebadged Pontiac.   That’s just wrong.  The SS needs to be rebadged as the Chevelle.  Think I’m wrong?  Take a look at this.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Look at that!  That’s the history Chevy should have touched on when they brought out the “SS”.  Give it the standard package that it has now… All Muscle Car… that’s good.  That’s the Chevelle.  Now add the SS badge to the new 2015 Chevelle and throw in a Supercharger.  And just for some fun – Hood Pins.  Because screw the Dodge Challenger, that’s why.  Freaking fake-ass Shaker hood scoop.  Give the Chevelle SS a real one.  The Commercial for it would be simple.  A tire scorching, mushroom cloud burnout for 60 seconds.  That’s it.  No spoken words… at the end of the commercial zoom in to the bowtie.  Done.

The Camaro – Keep it going, Chevy.  I want a turbo version though.  And I really do think you should drop all the V-6 versions unless they are turbocharged.  There should be no Mild versions of a Camaro.  Leave the watered down V-6 options for Dodge.  Every Camaro should be filled with hot sauce.

The Corvette – keep doing what you are doing.  You finally hit the nail on the head.

Coming up in Part 2, we’ll look at Chevy’s line of SUV’s and Trucks.

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To judge an automotive journal these days, you can’t take them on just their print media anymore… You have to look at their social media as well.  That means facebook, instagram, twitter, and Youtube.  How connected the magazine is to its audience, and how relevant the information and entertainment is.

The top three are MotorTrend,  Road & Track, and Car & Driver.
In that order.

MT is awesome in Print and Video.  Their channel on YouTube is a Must to Subscribe.
R&T has FB posts so good that if you are a Car Guy, you are missing out of you don’t follow them.
C&D has solid FB posts and a good layout in the printed medium.  Their writers have some good insight that provides more perspective.

If I was to only pick one, MotorTrend would be the Magazine.  But MotorTrend is not as strong without it’s social media.   As solid as it is.   A couple years ago I used to think that these magazines were going to be a thing of the past and that Digital Media is the future.  I could get the magazine, as printed, in digital form on tablet or smart phone.  Here’s the thing though… I did that.  And it was interesting.  But nothing beats kicking back with the Printed Pages.  No batteries, no distractions… Unplugged.   I find that I enjoy the magazine so much better than it’s digital counterpart.  While the digital format of the magazine is great… I really prefer it in print and will read an issue cover to cover.  In digital, really it’s just skimming the photos while you are waiting for something else to happen.
Print is not dead.