If you say Off Roading to different people, it’s going to mean different things. And I don’t pretend to be an expert at anyone of them, but I’ve tried them…
Rock Crawling has never had much appeal to me. Fighting your vehicle over obstacles may be fun for some… Twisting axels and drive shafts and blowing your tire’s bead off the rims… no, I don’t consider that fun. Sure, it’s fun to watch others do it. But I’ve never been tempted to do it for sport. I’ve done it a couple times out of necessity in my Bronco or my Scotsdale… but I only did it to get out of areas I got into and had no other way out of. No, I’ll avoid rock crawling as much as possible.
I’ve never liked Mudding either. Sure it can be fun, but it can get you stuck tighter than anything else. See, the Earth doesn’t like Mud Boggers and Mother Earth strives to punish them… Sucking them down ever deeper into her grasp. I was once stuck for over 14 hours when I went Mudding with some folks in Washington State. We were so stuck, a couple of us had to hike out to find Search and Rescue. The Rescue vehicle showed up, pulled them out (While me and another fellow hung out at the Rescue Station and waited for them to make it back) and then got stuck them selves. That cured me of all my desire for Mudding. And then as further punishment, the Mud will get into your axles and bearings and everywhere else it can cause havoc and if you don’t get it washed out good – will act as a grinding compound to eat your vehicle alive. No, no thank you.
Now then there is Overlanding. This is my kind of off roading. Overlanding is about traveling. It’s about going some place, not just getting through some thing. The way I see it, Overlanding has a point. A destination as well as the journey.
I see a lot of Off Road vehicles guys are setting up and a lot of them just make me scratch my head. What are they set up for? To me, it seems they are set up for looks only. Some look like they could be set up for Mudding or Rock Crawling until you look closer. Few are set up to be an actual Bug Out Vehicle, yet that’s what their owners are saying they are. I’m sorry, but Jeep is cool with your 454 on a stock 18 gallon tank turning 44″ tires isn’t going to get you much distance, so I hope you are not Bugging too far Out.
To me, a good Bug Out Vehicle has to be a good Overland Vehicle. Imagine it this way… You have to get from one coast to the other, without going on a Freeway or passing through a city and avoiding as much population as possible, and avoiding Points of Entry along the way. Now plot that course out. You may have to take some trails or fire roads. You may have to cross open BLM Land. Forestry Trails. Follow power line trails.
Okay, let’s get serious here. Think about your Zombie Plan. Your SHTF Plan. Your Bug Out Plan… Where are you Bugging Out too? How are you going to get there. Now think about who you are taking with you. Okay, now think about what you are going to need. Now think about how you are going to take that with you. Yeah, just having a 4×4 isn’t the solution. You may not actually need a 4×4. If your plan is just “getting up into the mountains”… You need a better plan.
This is where Overlanding has some good value. It’s like a how we go to Shooting Courses to learn the art of gunfighting… but for Bugging Out. Get out there… get into the wilderness. Get away from Wi-Fi. Disconnect from things. And put yourself to the Bug Out Test. By actually Bugging Out for awhile.
Man, I do miss my Chevy Scotsdale 4×4 right now.
All posts by MadOgre
The New Chevy
I’ve taken no small amount of flak for my 2013 Chevy Equinox. But let me point out some thing. The Feds no longer own any GM stocks. It’s all been sold, and all monies borrowed from the Feds have been repaid. So you can stop with the Government Motors bullshit. It’s over and that line is tired. If you are going to remain a hater – at least be a creative one. Okay? At least make yourself entertaining. Come on, I drive an Equinox. I can use all the entertainment I can get.
Don’t get me wrong – the EQ is a great little station wagon (if you ask the local constabulary) or SUV (if you ask Chevy and Motor Trend) that gets good mileage, has enough juice for it’s purposes, cruises the free way and back roads quite well… and it is quiet and comfortable and has some very excellent luxury features that I truly appreciate from my previous vehicle’s complete lack of luxury.
Man… I miss that bike!
Well, it did have hand guards. And an electric starter. Rode that thing last winter. Sure it was badass and hard core… but to be honest, a freaking Utah Winter? What the hell was I thinking? I was not right in the head. This winter? The EQ is a godsend. Heated Seats. Used to laugh at those. They are, as I found out, completely wonderful. And a touch screen XM infotainment system is fantastic. Back Up Camera – awesome. And it’s a handsome looking Cross-Ute. It is one of the top selling Mid Sized Ute’s on the market, for good reason. It’s totally competent in everything. I do like it. But it’s boring. Boring in the same way that Nice Guys always end up in The Friend Zone. It’s lacking Sex Appeal. Bravado. Machismo. Passion. Chevy has a few cars that have stepped up in the Testosterone Department.
The latest Gen of the Camaro is a solid looking muscle car. It’s badass on the inside, outside, under the hood, from the front, and from the back. It’s a badass car. It looks badass. It sounds badass. It is – badass. It also attracts Cop Eye like Democrats to Tax Dollars. While it has all the fun features a muscle car needs, it doesn’t quite have the level of comfort that I want. I want a bit more visibility and a bit lower profile when driving past the local law dogs looking to make quota. I need less Cop Eye yet I don’t want to give up the cojones, if you know what I mean. Something more balanced. And something that doesn’t get you into that Mustang vs Camaro back and forth trash talk I find irritating. That, and I think I would prefer the new 2015 Mustang anyways. But that’s not what I need either. Because both of these cars lack something else I need. A Back Seat. No, I mean a Real back seat. Not that I’d be in it, but I have sons who are as tall as I am, one as Big as I am, and I need to be able to carry at least 3 of them. That means I need a full sized sedan, with 4 doors.
Now, who makes a Full Sized Sedan that has Cojones? There is the Dodge Charger. There is BMW’s 5 Series. There is the Mercedes – I can’t even afford to look at those. And there is Audi, and we have a couple from Japan. There is the Chrysler 300 SRT And there is the Ford… no… wait… Ford doesn’t have anything. And Cadillac’s CTS-V (or VSport). Sticking Domestic Market, the Axis Powers are out. Sorry Germany. Sorry Japan. That leaves the Chrysler… Which is far too expensive. So is Cadillac. So those guys are out. So really that leave it down to the Dodge Charger… the Cop Car of Choice for the last few years. And this guy…
The Chevy SS. Here’s why I like it… no… LOVE IT. I would take this car over everything else… Even the more expensive or Axis options. For one, it’s got Cajones. It’s a muscle car though and through. Yet it’s wearing a button down collar shirt and a suit jacket. Even has a bow tie. With jeans and sneakers. I like that. Far less Cop Eye, and it’s going to give the Dodge Charger a run for it’s money in LE Agency Sales soon. In fact, it’s looks have been compared to the Malibu – a Rental Fleet standard. This is actually an advantage. It’s automotive camouflage. It’s a Sleeper. A Q Ship. I can go fast, and then when there are cops about, I can slow down and get back with traffic and blend right in. Inside, the SS has the luxury items I have grown to appreciate. And it has good visibility all the way around. You can drive this car every day. You can live with it. It’s not a Weekend Only track car. It’s a family car. With Cajones. I really think Chevy has a home run here. Pontiac had to too with the G8, but Pontiac had one critical flaw… It was a freaking Pontiac and I hate Pontiacs. Put that red arrow head badge on something and you’ve ruined it for me. Yes, everyone likes to point out that it’s really a Holden – great – I’m glad you can regurgitate the oft-repeated obvious. However since Chevy owns Holden – It’s still Chevy through and through, so suck it. The interior is all Chevy with their new styling that I find very attractive. They have been putting out nicer interiors than any other Domestic and most Foreign. I’ve been in some new cars and their interiors feel like they were from 15 years ago but with an iPad glued to the dash.
Here’s the thing, and you can argue amongst yourselves about this… Unlike other companies that took Government Bail Out Money – General Motors actually put it to good use and have transformed the company. They are making good cars now. Look at what they were making before… Crap. It was all crap. I hated everything Chevy was making that wasn’t a Truck. Now look at them… Well, don’t look at the Volt. But look at everything else. They look good. They run good. They are are making solid cars now. Hell, even the Malibu is a decent – albeit coma-inspiring – car.
Now look at S&W. Under the Clinton Administration S&W signed a contract with the Department of Urban Housing. I’m not going to go into that, you can read about that here. Or Google it all up all on your own. The fallout of this was that all True Patriots gave S&W the middle finger. I did too. Just like GM. Yeah, I was hating on GM too… which was not hard to do because like I said before – I already did. Save for the trucks. Okay, back to S&W… When S&W was brought back to All American Ownership after that DUH Contract SNAFU, they needed to seek forgiveness from the American Gun Owners. They did this and brought out the S&W .500 Magnum. Because – forgive me for using this phrase – “Because ‘Merica”. They made the Biggest Baddest Handgun on the planet. And then they made the .460 because they decided to make something actually usable on that big beautiful frame. Then they brought out their 1911’s. And even redid the SIGMA into something actually good – the M&P. And then they brought out their AR-15’s. They brought out things that the American Shooter loves. And it wasn’t a half assed job – they put effort into them – They were making Good Stuff.
Chevy, “The Heartbeat of America” is doing the same thing. Like S&W they have taken their lumps. They have learned their lesson. And they are making Good Stuff… and they deserve our forgiveness. GM employs a lot of American. Chevy employs a lot of good people. I know some of them. They like their Guns and they dislike Obama as much as we do. They could use our support. Especially since they are making some great vehicles.
I do not even need to go there with the new Corvette Stingray. Because – Damn.
The Shotgun
The shotgun remains the most versatile arm we have in our armories. For home defense, it is without equal. Yet they are always forgotten and neglected. They are not the guns that people pull out to show friends. The classic 870 Remington is still my favorite. Now, my friends at Scalpel Arms have taken the 870 to heart as well… They did the 870 proud.
The finish is pure art… but what I like about it best is the 12.5″ Barrel. It looks good… nice and tight. And done right, will still shoot very well. But I think I like 14″ the best… but I’m not sure. I need to test both side by side to see which works the best.
Frequently Asked Questions from Facebook Messages.
What is your favorite pistol?
Depends on the intended use. Since I mostly talk about defense use of firearms, I’m guessing you are talking about my favorite defensive pistol… In that case it’s the Glock 23. I’m sure most readers are shocked about that. (Sarcasm) Overall and ultimately, the favorite pistol that I posses is my 1911. It’s a bone stock Springfield 1911 GI model and it is my favorite handgun. While I do not shoot it or even talk about it with any regularity, it holds a special fondness in my heart that I can’t explain, and if I had to explain it to you then you would not understand. My favorite gun to just “plink with” would probably be my Beretta 92FS. And I can’t explain that either.
What is your favorite caliber?
Again, depends on the purpose… overall and ultimately my favorite cartridge is probably the .17HMR. That little round continues to baffle and amaze me. It’s insanely accurate and the damage that the .17 Hornady V-Max load is capable of is almost supernatural. If you are talking defensive cartridges for handguns, well, 10mm but I am economically disadvantaged to enjoy it as much as my appetite for it allows. So I satisfy myself with the shorter and weaker version called the “.40 S&W”. For big bore rifle hunting, 7mm Remington Magnum is my pick for longer range hunting while .45-70 is my choice for closer range work. However anything I can do with .45-70, I can probably do and would rather do with a 12 Gauge Slug.
If you had to “Pick Just One”?
That’s easy, and I’ve said it before… If I could only have just one gun, it would be a Remington 870 12 Gauge. Potent and versatile, I can hunt anything from humming birds to African Elephants by just using the right shell for the job. And I’ve hit targets with it from 0 to 400 yards (Have Witnesses) with my 18″ smooth bores, nothing fancy or specialized.
Do you still hate the AR-15?
No. When I wrote “That” the AR-15 was finicky and troublesome, and I personally had several that were completely useless as rifles. Moving on from that time, the AR-15 platform has had a lot of development and people have generally figured out how to build them to run. Now days, even a cheap entry level AR from a 3rd tier maker is going to run pretty well if you take care of it. And a good one will run pretty well even if you don’t. My current rifles have reliability records that I would not have believed when I wrote the Why I Hate The AR-15 article. Daniel Defense remains my top choice for an off the shelf rifle. Crusader Weaponry for a custom rifle.
Nightmare
Woke up from a nightmare that I can’t stop thinking about. It was extremely vivid and real. HD Dream. Sight, sound, smell… and when I woke up, I could still feel the phantom pains of my injuries.
In the dream, I was leading my youngest child to the car. It was night and I was parked in a dark area of a large parking lot filled with vehicles. I put my boy in the car, walked around and got in… and suddenly this huge guy made of darkness that smelled of coal and burned rubber jumped me. He started grabbing me through the open window. I had to fight him off from a position of disadvantage. He had a box cutter. I had a gun, but it was not chambered and I struggled to get it loaded while fighting this dark – thing. I was getting cut badly, but finally got my gun into play. Keeping my left arm high, I emptied the gun under it and into the Attacker, who fell away. The muzzle blast was ferocious with heat, light, and concussion. My boy was screaming. I had blood everywhere. There was lots of pain.
And then I woke up.
I can’t stop thinking about this dream.
My situational awareness was high. But everything was wrong and I knew it. Where I parked, the window down, the gun in Condition 3.
I can only come to one conclusion.
I need a new gun.
Celebrity Addicts.
Another Celebrity has killed himself with drugs. Many say he was a good actor. Lots of talent. That this is a terrible loss.
Yet I’ve got no sympathy for this.
He was making millions of dollars for a few days worth of work. He had everything the American Dream could ever offer. A List, as they say. Yet he chose to do drugs… because he was unhappy because his life felt hollow and meaningless.
Why is that?
Probably because it was hollow and meaningless. He chose a more selfish path… of indulgence and self gratification. He didn’t do what he could have done… make a difference in the world. I’m sorry… playing make belive in front of a camera isn’t making a difference. He’s not helping people.
He’s not being a part of things… and thats why he was unhappy. He knew it and that’s why he was found with a needle in his arm. He was running away from life… being selfish. It’s the most pathetic end. And I have no sympathy for it.
Top Service Pistols for 2014
I’ve talked about the best choices for Concealed Carry, but what about for the guys who have to carry openly? Law Enforcement, PMC, Security Contractor, or general Open Carry use, these are going to require a different type of handgun. Basically as much gun on your hip as you can get. Full sized, full capacity, none of the compromises required for Concealment.
SIG 226/220. This full sized SIG is a classic and the choice of a great many gunslinging professionals. A big capacity and rugged construction combined with reliability and accuracy. It’s everything you could want in a Side Arm. Unless you want a larger caliber. The 220 everything you like about the 226, but in .45 Auto. This big bore auto is known as “The Thinking Man’s .45” and that does indeed make sense when you’ve spent time with the gun. Same capacity as a 1911, but offers a decocking DA/SA fire control profile. This is probably the safest autoloading handgun I know of. (226 included) They are also very accurate.
Glock 17/22. Depending on your choice of 9mm or .40 cal, these guns are probably the first choice of more police departments than anything else. Very low bore axis, and a simple striker fired trigger mechanism makes these guns very easy to shoot well with once you get used to the triggers. 17 rounds of 9mm was an improvement over the typical 15 rounds others guns had, and 15 rounds of .40 cal is nothing to sneeze at these days.
Glock 20/21. 10mm or .45, these full sized beasts give you everything you need to pull duty on a dark and storm night. A lot of Law Enforcement Officers are running the 21 and I know a few that are running the 10mm. 15 rounds of 10mm is a lot of firepower. With good accuracy and legendary reliability – A Glock is never a wrong choice.
Beretta 90 Series. The 92FS, 92F, M9, M9A1, 92A1, 90-TWO, 96, 96A1. Shooting the big Beretta is like driving a Cadillac. Big, comfortable, comforting, reliable and accurate all with Hollywood good looks. Beretta has a lot of visual style, but what I like best is the almost straight line feeding. Mine can feed empty casing. Super smooth action as well, thanks to it’s unique locking block. The Beretta won the US Army contract for a good reason. Like it or not – and I know I’m going to open a can of worms here – it kicked SIG’s ass in the Trials. It kicked everyone’s asses in the Trials. So much so that the Army actually had to “dumb down” the test just so the SIG could stay in the race and the Beretta wouldn’t be a lone competitor. The 90 Series is battle proven around the world.
Beretta Px4 STORM. This is Beretta’s newest service auto. It uses a unique rotating barrel action with a traditionally Beretta like DA/SA trigger mechanism. This action makes the Storm a soft shooting pistol as it takes more energy out of the recoil. Like the 90 Series, the sights and the barrel maintain their relationship, they are very accurate shot to shot. With good triggers and comfortable recoil – it’s easy to be a good shot with the Px4 STORM. Even the Mid sized version… But the full sized is seriously just a pussycat. You can get it in 9, .40, and .45 auto. It’s one of my favorite new autos.
S&W M&P. S&W decided to get serious with the Poly Striker platform and forced Glock to rush the Gen 4 to market. Smith took a lot of LEO sales away from Glock. The Swampy as some call it, is a good pistol and a huge step up from Smith’s prior Glock Attack, the SIGMA. *shudder*. I bought one for my eldest Son, who upon getting the pistol, loading it, and having never fired it before – drilled the X in the target as perfectly as an Olympic Marksman from 20 yards. They are accurate guns. Like my Glocks, his Swampy has never failed.
Walther PPQ. This gun surprised me. The prior P99 was a gun that surprised me too. 500 rounds of mixed ammunition, it never failed. But it had a couple characteristics that made it an oddity. Such as the push down mag release and the top of the slide decocker button. The PPQ does away with the decocker on top and gives the gun a normal and familiar mag release. Honestly I didn’t mind the P99’s mag release and I found that I would use my trigger finger to drop the mags, just like I did with my HK. The PPQ is now available in either 4 or 5 inch barrel lengths and in 9mm or .40 caliber. The PPQ feels good in the hand and is probably one of the best and most under-rated service autos on the market. Let me put it this way – I really want a PPQ and will be buying one this year. Or Trading for it. A few years ago I had said that Walther was struggling to maintain it’s validity. The PPQ anchors it.
Springfield Armory XDM. Good trigger, good sights, and huge capacities make the XDM a solid choice. If you can get passed it’s “only a mother could love it” looks. While I’m not the biggest fan, I have to respect it. They are super accurate and easy to shoot well with. I know owners who have dumped a lot of rounds with astounding accuracy through their M’s.
HK P30 and HK45. The Germans really do engineer some fine hardware. But the P30 and the HK45 are both over priced and in my opinion over rated. With a standard trigger package, I find their triggers to be lacking in the quality of trigger pull that I would expect from such expensive guns. And I don’t like glow in the dark toy like sights that come on them stock. Again, for such an expensive gun, I want Tritiums on it right out of the box. Don’t get me started on the price of spare mags. For what you pay for an HK, it should come with Tritiums and 4 spares. All that aside – these guns deserve consideration. They are sharp looking, and they feel good in the hand. You can not go wrong with an HK, you really can’t. They are very well made. And after you dump enough rounds through it… Cost wise, would be enough to put a kid through a 12 credit semester of college, the trigger does feel pretty decent. They do look good… Like new BMW or Mercedes good looking. Pistol-Training.com’s Todd Green did a long term test on the P30 and it ran some 93,000 rounds before forced retirement. You could buy a new car for that much… Or you could afford to get sick or even have a (small) accident under Obamacare for that much money. I believe that none of his other tests have run that distance… Which ultimately makes the HK’s probably the best choice out of the lot.
Top 10 Concealed Carry Weapon picks:
There are really two classes of CCW choices. I’m calling them Duty and Backup. The relative size of gun isn’t the dividing line, but the caliber. Duty level guns are chambered for duty level calibers; 9MM and .357 Magnum being the marker. Anything smaller than 9MM or .357 is a backup caliber, such as .380ACP and .38 Special. You will see as we continue that some guns in the Duty category are smaller than those in the Backup category… Try to play along with the caliber division, okay? Now, the other thing you will note is that I am not putting them in any order. I’m giving you the nominations as I see them. You can put them in your own order as you see fit.
The nominations for CCW Duty:
Springfield XDM 3.8
SIG P-938
SIG P245 (220 Compact)
Glock 19/23
HK P30
Ruger SR9/40
Glock 30/29
Beretta Nano 9mm
S&W M&P Compact
The nominations for CCW Backup:
Beretta Pico .380
SIG 232
Walther PPK/S
Ruger LCP
NAA PUG Mini-Revolver .22 Magnum
Glock 42
Kel-Tec P3AT
SIG 238
S&W Bodyguard .380.
J or I frame sized .38 or .32 Magnum Revolver
There you have it. My picks. Now, please don’t be offended if your favorite picks are not on the list. There are so many good solid choices out there that it makes any such effort to pick the best ones most difficult. This top 10 for the Duty category could easily be the “Top 40”.
No matter what gun you choose, it does you no good if you don’t have it on your person. This is why I made these two lists. (that and a lot of people asking me to) Find a gun that you can have on you ALL THE TIME. Don’t give me that “I carry a 1911 Government Model all the time” bravado if you don’t really carry it all the time. If you do – fine. But really, smaller guns are a lot easier to carry all the time than bigger ones. If a SIG P-239 is too big to carry all the time, get something smaller… just as long as you have one of them on you. Even at home. If you are on the couch watching “MASH” reruns and some thug knocks your door in… your Seecamp .32 in your bedroom doesn’t do you a damn bit of good, does it? Concealed Carry means CARRY. If concealed carry meant “in your night stand drawer”, hell, you could have anything in there… an MP5, Desert Eagle… anything you wanted. But you can’t take that with you every day for all day without someone else noticing. Have the gun with you, on you, at all times.
Good Eats.
I do not have expensive tastes when it comes to food. I have eaten in the finest of restaurants, and I’ve eaten food prepped by the finest chefs. And quite often I find that I would rather be eating something else… something simpler, and something more ordinary. My Death Row Meal – Will be one of these:
Hot Dogs. Good old fashioned dirty water dogs with steamed buns. Top that with mustard and kraut and I could eat that all day. Mustard and ketchup and chili… give me three and I can call that a meal. Love hot dogs. The simplicity of them, the versatility, all delicious. If you don’t like a good hot dog – there is something wrong with you. Best Dog? Anywhere, but if I’m buying for me – I’ll buy Smithfield’s cheese filled dogs and some good spicy brown mustard. (Classic yellow French’s if I’m doing a chili dog)
Burgers. The Bacon Double Cheeseburger is the pinnacle of the Burger, but there are so many variations you could eat burgers for the rest of your life and never have the same one twice. It’s such a broad spectrum that Burgers are it’s own food group. The best Burgers? The Buffalo Burger at the Bohemien Brewery in Salt Lake City. Can’t get that? Five Guys.
Stew. Beef Stew, Chicken Stew… whatever stew you have, I’ll have some. I’m not talking Soup. Soups are good – but Stew is a whole new level and they can be absolutely exquisite when done right. The best stew? My wife’s.
Tacos. Now, the taco has some controversy to it. Flour or Corn on the Tortillas. Well, there is no controversy – it’s Corn. And if you think flour – you are wrong and should fix your nasty self. Take a flour tortilla and FRY IT. Don’t microwave it. Fry it. Throw some meat on it, some diced onions, cilantro, some salsa or hot sauce… maybe some cheese and tomato, that’s fine. But keep it simple. So delightful. Especially if you get them from some place that is not Taco Bell. Now, those T-Bell Crunchy Tacos… That’s fine if you are in the mood for the crunch, but they do not hold a candle to the pure joy of a hot corn tortilla filled with spicy meat. I could eat tacos every day. The best Tacos? My wife’s.
Fish and Chips. English Style “Fish and Chips”. Beer battered, doused with Malt Vinegar. Maybe a little black pepper and salt on the chips. Any time there is Sea Food or Fish on the Menu – I look for the Fish and Chips. I want thick fillets, with a fried crust that’s golden brown. And I don’t want anything else. The best I had – was at a little Roach Coach in Richmond, VA.
Enchiladas. If you like flour tortilla enchiladas, we can’t be friends anymore. Corn, again. And Fried. Never green sauce unless it’s chicken. Do not – DO NOT put green sauce on beef enchiladas. Ever. Red. Red sauce on everything – even chicken sometimes. Lots of cheese. Oh man… That’s Sunday Dinner stuff. But the problem is that they take too long to prepare and there are never enough left overs. If you make any – make 4 pans worth. At the least. 2 pans – you are way short. Only 1 pan – Why do you hate your family? You only made enough for me. The best Enchilada’s Mine, when I make them.
Pizza. There is Pizza, and then there is “New York Style”. New York Style is fine… But I prefer a little bit thicker crust – like a “Hand Tossed” Papa John’s crust. I don’t like the thick bready crusts like Pizza Hut – those oil sponges. And I like toppings. New York Style is too dang thin. I needs a lot of toppings. I like lots of flavors that work together – vegetables and meats have to harmonize. A Spinach Pizza can be wonderful. The most important element in a Pizza, after the foundational crust – is the sauce. You can have everything else right, but if the sauce is lame – you have lame pizza. And you have to have enough sauce. I hate the pizzas that have almost no sauce on them. They are missing out. And I also hate the pizzas that lay down the cheese and then the toppings. If you are going to do that – lay down some more cheese to hold the toppings on! I don’t like just a pepperoni pizza. That’s tired. I need more to it… and less grease, please. Default favorite? Papa John’s. And I get the pepper.
The Breakfast Burrito. The Holy of Holies of Breakfast foods and one I could eat at every meal. I want the Burrito to be fat and heavy. The filling – no RICE, damn it. I hate burritos that have more rice than everything else. That’s cheap. That’s a dodge. That’s a half-assed attempt at a Burrito. The Breakfast Burrito should be filled with eggs. Going in there with the eggs, some hash browns, some sausage, and some cheese. Maybe some jalapenos. Maybe some tomatoes. The tortilla here can be flour. But it needs to be thin and chewy, not thick and bready. It’s got to be strong enough to contain the filling. I don’t want it breaking open mid bite. I also don’t want to be chewing a mouthful of tortilla. So the size of the tortilla verses the filling must be in balance. I’ve studied the art of the Breakfast Burrito for decades. And I’ve had it all across the country. You know where the best one I’ve had was?
Just off I-95 at a Sheetz. I was in Breakfast Burrito Nirvana. I ordered 3 for the road and the only regret I have on that decision was that I only ordered 3.
Chili. Like Burgers – this could be it’s own topic. A good Chili is a work of art. You can argue Beans or No Beans… But if you don’t have beans in your chili – you have Hot Dog Sauce. Other than that, there are so many ways to make a chili, and none of them wrong. All good. Unless you screw it up. First off, it needs to be thick. It needs structure. It needs to be able to hold a spoon straight up. Anything less and you have soup and should be beaten. Thicken it up and live. A good chili can be hot, as hot as you like. But don’t make it sweet or tangy. It needs to be spicy. At the very least it should warm your mouth. At the most – maybe causing spontaneous human combustion is too much. My last chili – I made women, children, and shaved men cry. It was heroic chili. It was chili for bearded men only. It was the best chili I had ever made. The best chili I had ever had someplace else? I had a bowl of chili at the Pelican Lake Cafe 15 miles out of Vernal Utah. That was some fine chili.
Live Radio
So this weekend I drove to Atlanta Georgia to do Armed American Radio live in the studio. Normally I call in, but there were people to meet and we’ve been wanting to do this for some time. We’ve been doing AAR for 5 years now and damnit, it was time to be in the studio.
I got there Saturday afternoon… and Mark, being a Pro-Level “Pit Master” had his smoker up to temp with Meaty Goodness ready to go. A whole smoked, beer can chicken. Smoked to a deep red color… just beautiful. Perfection. Then he treated me to two unusual items. One, was a Smoked Meatloaf, dubbed the “AAR Gunsmoked Meatloaf”. Guys, this is freaking legit. I’d order this in a restaurant and not ask the price. It’s that good. I watched Mark’s preparations for this carefully. I will be making this myself. Then the other thing was a surprise. Bologna. Smoked Bologna. Forget everything you know about Bologna. Amazing food. Mark truly is a Pit Master. He could open a restaurant.
Being in the Studio is a whole new dynamic to doing the radio show. It was a fantastic experience and I learned a lot. I learned some from the radio station in Vernal, Utah… but this was a whole new ballgame. I really enjoyed the face to face interaction which makes the conversation flow naturally and improves the whole vibe. This was the best episode of AAR that I’ve done. The feedback was very positive and I would love to do this again, and look forward to the next chance I can get.
Listen to it here: AAR SHOW ARCHIVES. Look for each of the three hours of the 1-26-14 Show.
Mark drove me around in this Camaro SS. A real SS. The car is BADASS. Borla pipes, big bore V-8, torque enough to skin Godzilla. It’s a monster. Rolling around Hotlanta in a murdered out SS… Fun as hell.
We popped some rounds through a few guns, had a great time at that. Mark wanted to break in his SIG 938 pistol and now he is convinced that I am right when I say that the SIG 938 is the best pistol that SIG makes.