So this weekend I drove to Atlanta Georgia to do Armed American Radio live in the studio. Normally I call in, but there were people to meet and we’ve been wanting to do this for some time. We’ve been doing AAR for 5 years now and damnit, it was time to be in the studio.
I got there Saturday afternoon… and Mark, being a Pro-Level “Pit Master” had his smoker up to temp with Meaty Goodness ready to go. A whole smoked, beer can chicken. Smoked to a deep red color… just beautiful. Perfection. Then he treated me to two unusual items. One, was a Smoked Meatloaf, dubbed the “AAR Gunsmoked Meatloaf”. Guys, this is freaking legit. I’d order this in a restaurant and not ask the price. It’s that good. I watched Mark’s preparations for this carefully. I will be making this myself. Then the other thing was a surprise. Bologna. Smoked Bologna. Forget everything you know about Bologna. Amazing food. Mark truly is a Pit Master. He could open a restaurant.
Being in the Studio is a whole new dynamic to doing the radio show. It was a fantastic experience and I learned a lot. I learned some from the radio station in Vernal, Utah… but this was a whole new ballgame. I really enjoyed the face to face interaction which makes the conversation flow naturally and improves the whole vibe. This was the best episode of AAR that I’ve done. The feedback was very positive and I would love to do this again, and look forward to the next chance I can get.
Listen to it here: AAR SHOW ARCHIVES. Look for each of the three hours of the 1-26-14 Show.
Mark drove me around in this Camaro SS. A real SS. The car is BADASS. Borla pipes, big bore V-8, torque enough to skin Godzilla. It’s a monster. Rolling around Hotlanta in a murdered out SS… Fun as hell.
We popped some rounds through a few guns, had a great time at that. Mark wanted to break in his SIG 938 pistol and now he is convinced that I am right when I say that the SIG 938 is the best pistol that SIG makes.
I freaking hate “Sloppy Joes”. Sloppy Joes… Meat’s Epic Failure.
Look, you have a pound of ground meat… and you just ruined it. You could have had Tacos. You could have made it into a couple good burger patties… But you didn’t. You made Sloppy Joes. Don’t give me that Manwhich bullarchy. You ruined it. Admit it. It’s kinda like saying you are going to make an Omelet, and then cocked it up and made Scrambled Eggs instead, and then cleared your sinuses into them. That’s what you did with the ground meat… same thing.
Toss some chili powder on them… some taco seasoning on the ground beef or whatever and make some Tacos. Tacos are always win. ALWAYS WIN. Don’t have some tortillas, well, you are wrong and you are living in Kitchen Fail… but hey, you can always make a pot of chili out of it. And that’s damn fine eating.
I mean, hell, if you have to make Spaghetti with it. Boil some pasta, and poor that over the stuff over those noodles. You’ll be fine.
But to mix a BBQ type sauce into the meat? Oh hell no! Look if you want BBQ flavor… make a burger and put the sauce on top of the burger. That’s a good burger. A BBQ Burger… We can all live with that. And be happy.
But to make Sloppy Joes with that meat… Oh my hell… That’s giving up on life.
Don’t give me that “You’ve never had my… whoever the hell it is Sloppy Joes”. No… I never have. And no, I never will. You will never get me to try it. I will just look at you with disgust and disappointment and walk away… Probably to my car so I can go find a 5 Guys or a Cook Out or a Sonic… or some places that knows what the hell to do with a pound of ground beef that isn’t blowing excretion into it. Sloppy Joes Suck.
Burger King, that is. This morning I had too much blood in my caffeine and I was getting a headache from it. Needed to fix that. Closest joint was a BK. So I stopped in, went inside. I had a minute. So I sit down with a large Coke on ice and pull out my Samsung Galaxy S4, which is awesome… Check messages… Oh, they have free WiFi. Well… Let’s just hop on that and use their bandwidth instead of my Verizon Miserly Minutes. Because Verizon doesn’t do an Unlimited Data plan, I try to use WiFi whenever possible.
Check my emails. Check my messages… Hmmm… What about any new comments on MadOgre.com?
THIS SITE IS BLOCKED. REASON: WEAPONS.
Burger King Blocks The Ogre. Oh really? So I check a few other Pro-Gun sites… and they are blocked too. Uh huh. Now, wait a second… If they are blocking me, undoubtedly for the children… they must be blocking – Nope… You can still pull up Miley Cyrus twerking that skinny little ass. So Burger King thinks it’s okay for Hanna Montana to shake that flat little money maker, but I can’t check out a Pro-Second Amendment discussion site.
Really, King of Burgers? That hurts me, King B. That cut me.
At this point I walked out. I don’t see myself spending any more of my money there. Check our your local BK establishments. See if they have free WiFi and if they are filtering guns too. Maybe it’s just this Franchise. Maybe it’s a Corporate thing. I’d rather see this be a Corporate thing. Because this Franchise was just outside of the main gates of a Marine Base. And they are banning gun related content on their WiFi. That’s just asinine considering all the Marines and Relatives that stop and eat there. Just sad. I was quite disappointed.
Breakfast Burritos. I’m a huge breakfast guy. The whole “Most Important Meal Of The Day” is a tradition that I follow. Those are words I live by. Yes, I live by those words. And they have never failed me. And of all the breakfast foods one could have, my favorite thing to eat in the world in the morning… The Breakfast Burrito. Food of a Loving and Caring God.
And there are none to be found in this area. I’m not going to say that North Carolina doesn’t know a good breakfast… they have that Southern Breakfast thing down. Grits and Eggs, all that and then some. But they don’t know a good Breakfast Burrito. At least not that I have seen.
Now, I did hit a Sheetz gas station chain with the fancy touch screen menu that lets you pick what you want in the burrito – and that was good. Namely because I was able to pick what I wanted in the thing. Other than that… Every breakfast burrito I’ve had in North Carolina, and Virginia for that matter, has been somewhere between Poor and Terrible.
Let me put it this way… they have been so bad here, that they make me miss the horrible breakfast burritos made at the IGA Deli behind Basin Sports in Vernal, Utah. Because those, as nasty as they usually were… you could ever once in awhile get one that was just “MMMM!” and it was delicious and made right all the disappointments before it. I’ve not had that in a Breakfast Burrito since I’ve been here.
Closest thing is Sonic. You know Sonic… the red button and the car hops that bring the food to your car. Yeah… they have their Super Sonic Breakfast Burrito, which is okay. But the problem is that Sonic hasn’t embraced the BB. So they don’t care. So they don’t fill the BB like they could. They make them small and thin and filled with disappointment and regret and after eating one you are still hungry, but not enough to do a second one. This morning I had one from Chic-Fil-A. Now, they do make a good chicken sandwich, I’ll give them that. But the just really need to avoid attempting a BB. Because what I had this morning was probably the worst thing ever. McDonald’s little cigarette thin things they call Breakfast Burritos, while just stupid, at least taste better than the shame Chic-Fil-A rolled into a stale flatbread. And McDonald’s. Just… stop. No… I mean it… just stop it.
I hadn’t had any since I did Patrol work in Virginia. But late at night, or more accurately, very early in the morning, I’d stop by a place in Richmond for dinner.
Sometimes we’d gather at Vito’s near the University for some zero hour Italian food. Pizza, Stromboli, whatever was going down it was all good. But sometimes the night was not a good one. Sometimes bad things happened that would break your soul and your heart and you would lose your faith in humanity. At those times… I’d get something different.
Chicken and Waffles.
The combination may sound like an odd one, off the cuff. But it’s good food. Good solid grub that can make you feel right enough to go back out and face the world again. Simple fried chicken, done well, with thick waffles covered in butter and syrup. You eat them together, or if you like chicken then the waffles. It doesn’t matter… just get them in your belly.
It was a long time since I had the meal.
The other day my wife and I went to “Winger’s”. I was told that they offered it, and that’s what I asked for. It was good. Filling, as the dish is supposed to be. Boneless chicken breasts, fried to perfection… juicy inside.
This was some good soul healing food right there. This was our New Year’s Day dinner… and it was good. A good way to start off 2013.
Make a classic Philly Cheesesteak.
Stuff in yellow banana peppers, olives, and mushrooms.
Throw on some bacon. None of that Canadian shit.
Dredge that in beer-batter made with Amber Boch, or Shock Top.
Deep fry till GBD.
Serve with a Gatorbull to wash it down.
Genius Level Grub.
I’ve been keeping my eye out for these for the last two years. No store in the Uintah Basin that I have found, has any.
Oh, they have the Mustard kind… the Smoked kind… but no one has the Hot Sauce kind.
WHAT THE HELL?
Mark Walters and I are working on a fun little book called “Grilling While Armed”. It’s a celebration of two things that make America great.
Tune Steaks with a SIG P938. Perfect combination.
There is a new joint to eat in Vernal called “The Porch”. For the locals, it’s the new place that is occupying where “The Red Onion Grill” used to be. I was told this was “Cajun Food”, but it’s not. It’s “Southern Food”, and that’s not a bad thing, but it’s not Cajun. However they tried a couple Cajun things. Such as the Gumbo. Then a Po-Boy sandwich.
Let’s give you the run down. 20 minute wait to sit down, 30 minutes until food arrived. I ordered a cup of Gumbo and their Shrimp Po-Boy.
It was a tasty sausage soup… but it wasn’t Gumbo.
The sandwich though… Let’s just say that when it landed on the table, Jer, across the table looked at it and said, “Dude, I’m sorry.” It was an Embryonic Po-Boy… One that if it was left to come full term, could have grown into a Po-Boy, but as it was, it was just a sandwich. With 5 shrimp on bread not much bigger than Golden Coral’s dinner rolls.
A. This sandwich was 15 bucks. B. It wasn’t a Po-Boy.
It was a tasty sandwich if I had just ordered a 4 dollar shrimp sandwich. But I didn’t. I ordered a 15 dollar mother of all sandwiches called a “Po-Boy.” If you don’t know what that is… Watch this. It’s huge. It’s over-stuffed. Normal humans usually can’t finish one in a single sitting. You order one and you take half of it home with you – THAT is a Po-Boy. That’s what I paid for. But that’s not what I got. And the last time I had a real Po-Boy, it was 7 bucks and they kept the drinks topped off without question. 5 Shrimps… Five. WTF is that? 3 bucks per small undersized and overcooked shrimp.
So I left “THE PORCH” having dropped 23 bucks and the only real thing I got that I had ordered was the Sweet Tea. They made a good Sweet Tea.
Now, I can cut The Porch some slack for being slow. They were busy. But the prices and the portion size don’t line up. Dan ordered a Rib Eye. It was half fat and gristle. Fenris had a Shrimp stew, which looked just like the Gumbo but with more rice. Jer had a big bowl of Gumbo… but again… it wasn’t Gumbo. It was Soup. Soup and Gumbo are two different things. Gumbo is freaking Gumbo. Saying Gumbo is Soup is like saying Chilli is Soup too. This will get you a beating in some places.
Anyways… yeah… I’m not going back to The Porch. If they don’t know what a Po-Boy is… and had the audacity to charge 15 bucks for it… No. Not ever again. This makes me said as I really wanted to like this place. I went in excited about this place. The disappointment was staggering.
You guys have heard the Grilling While Armed segments on Armed American Radio.
Mark and I will be doing a book on this.
Recipies, Guns, and photos…
It’s going to be fun.