The Porch in Vernal

There is a new joint to eat in Vernal called “The Porch”. For the locals, it’s the new place that is occupying where “The Red Onion Grill” used to be. I was told this was “Cajun Food”, but it’s not. It’s “Southern Food”, and that’s not a bad thing, but it’s not Cajun. However they tried a couple Cajun things. Such as the Gumbo. Then a Po-Boy sandwich.
Let’s give you the run down. 20 minute wait to sit down, 30 minutes until food arrived. I ordered a cup of Gumbo and their Shrimp Po-Boy.
It was a tasty sausage soup… but it wasn’t Gumbo.
The sandwich though… Let’s just say that when it landed on the table, Jer, across the table looked at it and said, “Dude, I’m sorry.” It was an Embryonic Po-Boy… One that if it was left to come full term, could have grown into a Po-Boy, but as it was, it was just a sandwich. With 5 shrimp on bread not much bigger than Golden Coral’s dinner rolls.
A. This sandwich was 15 bucks. B. It wasn’t a Po-Boy.
It was a tasty sandwich if I had just ordered a 4 dollar shrimp sandwich. But I didn’t. I ordered a 15 dollar mother of all sandwiches called a “Po-Boy.” If you don’t know what that is… Watch this.   It’s huge.  It’s over-stuffed.  Normal humans usually can’t finish one in a single sitting.  You order one and you take half of it home with you – THAT is a Po-Boy.  That’s what I paid for.  But that’s not what I got.  And the last time I had a real Po-Boy, it was 7 bucks and they kept the drinks topped off without question.  5 Shrimps… Five.  WTF is that?  3 bucks per small undersized and overcooked shrimp.

So I left “THE PORCH” having dropped 23 bucks and the only real thing I got that I had ordered was the Sweet Tea.  They made a good Sweet Tea.

Now, I can cut The Porch some slack for being slow.  They were busy.  But the prices and the portion size don’t line up.  Dan ordered a Rib Eye.  It was half fat and gristle.  Fenris had a Shrimp stew, which looked just like the Gumbo but with more rice.  Jer had a big bowl of Gumbo… but again… it wasn’t Gumbo.  It was Soup.  Soup and Gumbo are two different things.  Gumbo is freaking Gumbo.  Saying Gumbo is Soup is like saying Chilli is Soup too.  This will get you a beating in some places.

Anyways… yeah… I’m not going back to The Porch.  If they don’t know what a Po-Boy is… and had the audacity to charge 15 bucks for it… No.  Not ever again.  This makes me said as I really wanted to like this place.  I went in excited about this place.  The disappointment was staggering.


8 thoughts on “The Porch in Vernal”

  1. Thanks for being the guinea pig. It figures though. This town is allergic to good food. I will stick to MOJO’s for a decent burger and Club S(e)X for steaks when we don’t feel like firing up the BBQ.

      1. I love the Pelican’s Ouray burger. But for a quick lunch it doesn’t work out. Sexy C says thanks for the laugh and saving us $40.

  2. Too bad, I hate when a place thinks it can fool people.
    Good Gumbo is served over perfect long grain white rice, more of a casserole than a soup, and Chili has the same thing going – we can argue over which you have to have – crackers or tortilla chips, but still – not really a soup either way.

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