Tag Archives: Zombies

Top 10 Rigs for the Zombie Uprising.

Hummer-Humvee_Military_Vehicle_2003_photo_01

10.   The HMMV, or Hummer.   While it is not a ideal in areas of operation where landmines and IED’s are used by insurgent forces, the HMMV offers many advantages.  It has enough power and clearance to plow through and over hordes of undead walkers.

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9.  The Jeep Wranger.  Wait, what?  Yes.  A Jeep Wrangler… But specifically the Sahara or Rubicon and specifically with a Hard Top.  Ideally it would be the Rubicon.  A 2012 or newer stock or older with something other than the factory engines.  Any crate motor swap will do.  While not as overly rugged as a HMMV, the Jeep has the ability to thread through areas the big Hummer can’t go.  It’s also quicker.  Forget the things like soft tops, half doors and the popular Jeeper summer options… You don’t want nothing but canvas protecting you for the Biters.  You want something that can get you out of trouble and over those mountains?  This is good way to go.  That and you can find them at any abandoned Dealership.  So just go into the offices and find the keys.

MATV

8.  The MATV.  Built for warfare in areas too hostile for the HMMV, the MATV offers more mine resistance and greater clearance.  It’s high saddle allows you to see well over the heads of the oceans of shamblers you may have to roll over.  This beast can punch through into areas other rigs can’t go.  A turret up top allows one of your team to mount up a belt fed to help clear out path when things get rough.  And incase you run into marauders and bandits, it’s armored hull may prove to be a life saver.

Chevy_Avalanche

7.  Chevy Avalanche.  The Avalanche is a great truck for a jack of all trades, do everything sort of rig.  4 doors allows your team to quickly get in and out, and the pickup bed can let you guys haul a lot of stuff and it has decent towing.  You’ll want to outfit it with some brush guards for pushing through undead biomasses.

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6.  The Ford Raptor.  Sometimes you really need to get somewhere fast.   The Raptor can deliver your Rapid Response Team like no other.  Fast.  Agile.  Perfecting for racing over mounds of fallen undead.

patriotic_semi

5.  RAMROD.  You are going to need a vehicle that haul a lot of people and supplies.  You are going to need a vehicle that can push abandoned cars out of the way and clear the highway.  You need a Semi.  When you raid that Sam’s Club or Costco or Cabella’s, how are you going to bring all those good home?  You are going to have to find someone skilled to drive that if you don’t know how.  Don’t worry… you’ll find plenty of volunteers.

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4.  A Highway Snow Blower.  Because sometimes to get where you need to go… You may need to paint the town red.  The problem with pushing your way through a horde of zombies is that they will be waiting for when you come back.    The upside to clearing a path this way… You have one hell of trail of bread crumbs to find your way back.

Toy_FJ

3.  Toyota FJ.  Giving you a more room and protection than a Jeep, but a smaller footprint and more range than a HMMV, the FJ just may be the best Zombie Rig that isn’t a Ford Raptor.  Great reliability for when you explore far from your base of operations.  These can go anywhere and do anything.

Blackhawk helicopters (AP file)

2.   A Blackhawk.  To get your team in and out of an area fast, extractions or tracking a target… You need some air power.   The Blackhawk is tough and reliable and easy to fly… as far as choppers are concerned.  And you get to yell “Get to the Choppa!”  Because you know you want to.

Centauro01

1. The Centauro.  Because you may need a tank.  Normal tanks are slow, cumbersome, and the tracks are problematic if you have a long way to go.  The Centauro can get there and bring everything you need a tank to bring, and then can haul ass home.  You can carry a squad of dismounts with you.  So you and your team can ride in style, kick ass, and bring back the bubble gum.

Audio Book Available: UPRISING USA

It’s on Audible.com right now:  Uprising: USA.

I’m so stoked about this… I love Audio Book.  Any time I can I get one to listen to in the car.  Love them!   Having my own book in Audio – Coolest thing ever.

I want to thank my Publisher, White Feather Press, and Skip Coryell personally for this.  I’d also like to thank the Narrator, Jason Clearfield. Lots of different voices in Uprising USA… takes a guy with some serious talent.

And thank you to all my friends for the encouragement.  Ahem… buy my audio book?  Please?

It’s so cheesy… Just cracks me up.

 

The Uprising Saga

Uprising USA.

Uprising UK.

Uprising Italia. By Zachary Hill.

For those bouncing here to MadOgre.com from hearing about it on the Radio, the books I’ve written about Zombies are in the Uprising Saga.  The USA book was the first.  It started out as a short story on an internet forum (WeTheArmed.com) and snowballed.  Many writers jumped in, adding their own perspective and making their own stories.
This is Literary Junk Food, not to be taken too seriously.  Just have fun with it.

I’m still beating my head on Uprising Russia.  Other writers are working on Uprising Crusader, Uprising Chosen, and then we’ll have an Uprising Anthology.

Book Signing

This Saturday I will be doing a Book Signing at the Hastings book store in Ogden at 1pm.  The location is 340 E 525 N.
Use Google Maps or a Garmin to find it… Not Apple Maps.
I will be kicking it out there on my ZX-11, straight in to Hastings from Ogre Ranch.  Afterwards, I will need some foodage, so anyone wants to come hangout and gobble burgers is welcome… And then I have to Jetmoto back as I’ve got obligations to care for Saturday night.
I was asked if I will sign ammo pouches or holsters.  Sure.  I’ve also signed Kindled, iPads, and a Nook.  I will also sign breasts if I must.  Anything for my fans.
I’ll be taking pictures too… This is going to be a blast. Talking Zombies, Horror flicks, Prius Destruction… Come on out!

Zombies Still Rule

Zombies are still the Ultimate Horror Creature.   At no point are Zombies a Romantic Figure or Anti-Hero.  At no point are people trying to Make Peace with the Zombies.  At no point is there an attempt to Understand the Zombies.  Because they are fucking Zombies and absolutely Haunt humanity.

Zombies are in the Bible:

Zechariah 14:12-13
And the LORD will send a plague on all the nations that fought against Jerusalem. Their people will become like walking corpses, their flesh rotting away. Their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths.
On that day they will be terrified, stricken by the LORD with great panic. They will fight their neighbors hand to hand.

Zombies are even in the very oldest of our stories, The Epic of Gilgamesh:

I will raise up the dead, and they will devour the living,
I will make the dead outnumber the living!

Zombies are found in every era, in every culture, in every country in the world.  They scare us more than anything else and have always done so.  And they always will.   Which is why Zombies are like Bacon.  They make everything better.  Even my Music Playlist is Zombie Heavy

Zombies and Cannibals

Like many others, I’ve followed the Florida Bath Salt Zombie stories with morbid interest.  Drudge has also been putting up articles able a couple Cannibals.

As a public service announcement, we must address the differences between a Zombie and a Cannibal.

Zombies have no will of their own, the wander around as if in a daze, voting Democrat, and they are undead.  There is ample proof of this as a great many Registered Democrat Votes in hotly contested districts are indeed from people who have died…. then this Floridian Bath Salt Zombie… Yes, Zombies are real and they are out there.  

If they bite you, there is a 90% chance you too might become a zombie.   That last 10% chance – that’s your buddy shooting you in the head before you turn.  If he is a good friend that is.

Cannibals however are very different.  They can be very intelligent, careful planners, and they can craft elaborate traps for their victims.  They are still human and are just like the rest of us… except they want to eat the rest of us… My point is they look at act (mostly) like anyone else. You can’t tell who is and who isn’t a Cannibal.  But that just makes them all the more dangerous. Cannibals however could be found wearing Turtleneck Sweaters, Popped Collars, Berets, and Tight Pants that are not quite long enough.

The question remains – what to do about these two types of people eaters.  The answer is simple.  Once identified, the same counter measures and responses work well in both cases.  SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD.

Works every time.

The More You Know…

Uprising UK is now out for the Kindle

Uprising: UK.  My second “Winning the Zombie Apocalypse” book (in a series of four) is now available for the Amazon Kindle.

I really like Uprising: UK.  I think it’s an improvement over the USA which felt more rushed.  I’ve already got it on my Kindle Reader on my Smart Phone.   No formatting errors this time!  Booyah!   Get your copy now and I’ll sign your Kindle at the Crossroads of the West Gun Show in SLC this weekend.