Zombies and Cannibals

Like many others, I’ve followed the Florida Bath Salt Zombie stories with morbid interest.  Drudge has also been putting up articles able a couple Cannibals.

As a public service announcement, we must address the differences between a Zombie and a Cannibal.

Zombies have no will of their own, the wander around as if in a daze, voting Democrat, and they are undead.  There is ample proof of this as a great many Registered Democrat Votes in hotly contested districts are indeed from people who have died…. then this Floridian Bath Salt Zombie… Yes, Zombies are real and they are out there.  

If they bite you, there is a 90% chance you too might become a zombie.   That last 10% chance – that’s your buddy shooting you in the head before you turn.  If he is a good friend that is.

Cannibals however are very different.  They can be very intelligent, careful planners, and they can craft elaborate traps for their victims.  They are still human and are just like the rest of us… except they want to eat the rest of us… My point is they look at act (mostly) like anyone else. You can’t tell who is and who isn’t a Cannibal.  But that just makes them all the more dangerous. Cannibals however could be found wearing Turtleneck Sweaters, Popped Collars, Berets, and Tight Pants that are not quite long enough.

The question remains – what to do about these two types of people eaters.  The answer is simple.  Once identified, the same counter measures and responses work well in both cases.  SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD.

Works every time.

The More You Know…

One thought on “Zombies and Cannibals”

  1. Two things re: Zombies.

    EVERYONE who survives initial outbreak will go to Costco/WallyWorld, etc… These places will end up and constant firefights between fuedal-wannabes. Not safe.

    That brings me to the second point: Be prepared, beforehand.

    Oh, avoid bath salts and “long pig”.

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