Top 10 Rigs for the Zombie Uprising.

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10.   The HMMV, or Hummer.   While it is not a ideal in areas of operation where landmines and IED’s are used by insurgent forces, the HMMV offers many advantages.  It has enough power and clearance to plow through and over hordes of undead walkers.

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9.  The Jeep Wranger.  Wait, what?  Yes.  A Jeep Wrangler… But specifically the Sahara or Rubicon and specifically with a Hard Top.  Ideally it would be the Rubicon.  A 2012 or newer stock or older with something other than the factory engines.  Any crate motor swap will do.  While not as overly rugged as a HMMV, the Jeep has the ability to thread through areas the big Hummer can’t go.  It’s also quicker.  Forget the things like soft tops, half doors and the popular Jeeper summer options… You don’t want nothing but canvas protecting you for the Biters.  You want something that can get you out of trouble and over those mountains?  This is good way to go.  That and you can find them at any abandoned Dealership.  So just go into the offices and find the keys.

MATV

8.  The MATV.  Built for warfare in areas too hostile for the HMMV, the MATV offers more mine resistance and greater clearance.  It’s high saddle allows you to see well over the heads of the oceans of shamblers you may have to roll over.  This beast can punch through into areas other rigs can’t go.  A turret up top allows one of your team to mount up a belt fed to help clear out path when things get rough.  And incase you run into marauders and bandits, it’s armored hull may prove to be a life saver.

Chevy_Avalanche

7.  Chevy Avalanche.  The Avalanche is a great truck for a jack of all trades, do everything sort of rig.  4 doors allows your team to quickly get in and out, and the pickup bed can let you guys haul a lot of stuff and it has decent towing.  You’ll want to outfit it with some brush guards for pushing through undead biomasses.

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6.  The Ford Raptor.  Sometimes you really need to get somewhere fast.   The Raptor can deliver your Rapid Response Team like no other.  Fast.  Agile.  Perfecting for racing over mounds of fallen undead.

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5.  RAMROD.  You are going to need a vehicle that haul a lot of people and supplies.  You are going to need a vehicle that can push abandoned cars out of the way and clear the highway.  You need a Semi.  When you raid that Sam’s Club or Costco or Cabella’s, how are you going to bring all those good home?  You are going to have to find someone skilled to drive that if you don’t know how.  Don’t worry… you’ll find plenty of volunteers.

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4.  A Highway Snow Blower.  Because sometimes to get where you need to go… You may need to paint the town red.  The problem with pushing your way through a horde of zombies is that they will be waiting for when you come back.    The upside to clearing a path this way… You have one hell of trail of bread crumbs to find your way back.

Toy_FJ

3.  Toyota FJ.  Giving you a more room and protection than a Jeep, but a smaller footprint and more range than a HMMV, the FJ just may be the best Zombie Rig that isn’t a Ford Raptor.  Great reliability for when you explore far from your base of operations.  These can go anywhere and do anything.

Blackhawk helicopters (AP file)

2.   A Blackhawk.  To get your team in and out of an area fast, extractions or tracking a target… You need some air power.   The Blackhawk is tough and reliable and easy to fly… as far as choppers are concerned.  And you get to yell “Get to the Choppa!”  Because you know you want to.

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1. The Centauro.  Because you may need a tank.  Normal tanks are slow, cumbersome, and the tracks are problematic if you have a long way to go.  The Centauro can get there and bring everything you need a tank to bring, and then can haul ass home.  You can carry a squad of dismounts with you.  So you and your team can ride in style, kick ass, and bring back the bubble gum.

17 thoughts on “Top 10 Rigs for the Zombie Uprising.”

  1. How do you feel about the suicide doors on the FJ? I don’t like not being able to access the back seat without the front doors being open.

  2. One of our local pro athletes – – I’m not certain if he was a football player for the Panthers or a basketball player for the Bobcats – – had a custom SUV made from a dump truck. Talk about ground clearance and ability to go anywhere? It had it.

  3. See, if I was in the Walking Dead, I’d have a semi with tandem trailers. The first would be to haul my ammo, the second would be a low-boy to haul a bulldozer with an armoured cage.

  4. I’d take my truck. 2002 F-350 with the 7.3 diesel.

    It will haul six big adults in gear with no trouble.

    It has power to spare (just pulled a /full/ heating oil truck out of a ditch, the other day – toss it in 4-low, and the thing will practically climb walls).

    It has plenty of ground clearance, and is easy enough to lift if you want more.

    It can haul ridiculous cargo – I put 4000 pounds in the back, on the factory springs, and I was passing folks on the highway, going uphill. With the new springs I had installed, I should be able to handle as much as the tires can take.

    Diesel gives alll the power you could want, with ecellent fuel economy, and is very safe. It takes effort to light diesel fuel, so there’s little risk of torching your own rig if you get into a flammable situation. Add a second fuel tank, and you can easily have a 1000-mile range. Add a /large/ second fuel tank, and you can have extended range and/or fuel for a flame thrower.

    It can run on diesel, home heating oil, kerosene, Jet A (just need to add some oil to increase the lubrication, if you do it long-term), biodiesel, or vegetable oil. Maybe others. Lots of fuel options in an emergency.

    If you need more enclosed cargo capacity and aren’t in need of the bed, go with an Excursion. Or get one of each – since they are basically the same truck, almost all of the major parts interchange, which makes it easy to stock spares.

  5. I really *want* to like the FJ, but why-oh-why don’t they build one with a V-8? They could have had a V-8! They have more than a couple available – I must conclude Toyota is insane or imbecilic.

  6. Flint is right. Everyone geeks out over the biggest, baddest zombie rigs but they rarely consider fuel. Out of that whole list, the Wrangler and the Avalanche are the only relatively fuel efficient choices and since we’re talking about ~18mpg that ain’t saying much. It might work okay if you’ve got a fixed base that includes a gas station, military facility, or something with similar storage capacity but even then you’ll be dealing with contamination issues before you know it (I mean, assuming you survive that long).

    If you’re nomadic then there’s no way most of these baddies will make the trip. You’ve only got the range of the wimpiest vehicle in the convoy. Ignoring the airport snow blower (because I don’t even want to know what it gets) that’s less than 300 miles for the HMMV and Raptor. Do you want to have to find and secure a station every 200-250 miles? I didn’t think so.

    Obviously you don’t want a Prius but fuel is definitely a primary concern. Diesel pickup with extra tankage in the bed seems like it’d be a nice poor man’s option. A HEMTT tanker would be the fancy way to go.

    1. With the cargo capacity of a good diesel pickup like that, you could even get a 330-gallon IBC and toss that in the back.

      5000-6000 mile range, even figuring for lower economy due to the weight (but that effect decreases as you drive). Probably excessive, but it just goes to show what’s possible. You could burn a lot of that running flamethrowers, or (more realistically) running generators when you camp or fueling a second diesel vehicle, and still have a range in the thousands of miles.

  7. Left out the best combo of ruggedness , hauling capacity, multi fuel capacity,the M-35 DEUCE AND A HALF. It may be old school but it works

  8. It’s been 7 years since I was considering getting a Wrangler Unlimited or a FJ, but at that time while the FJ was bigger externally it had less internal cargo space. The FJs also had (still have?) issues with the transmissions crapping themselves even when not abused.

  9. I like the Wrangler choice. Short wheelbase narrow and not much overhang. Add a moderate lift and it’s GTG. Better yet find a CJ5 and lift it 4″ and run 36s. I gave away my ’77 CJ5 set up that way a few years ago to a young family member. Those things were so durable and simple. Go anywhere. Not much more complicated than a farm tractor and just about as sturdy and useful. No power options, no electronics, no creature comforts. Pure function. Perfect for post apocalypse or zombie world. I wish I could get mine back.

    1. For most apocalyptic scenarios, id agree. The Zombie scenario requires more protection. Unless it had a hard top and solid doors… I’d have to pass.

  10. Rubi with a Diesel engine and external fuel cans. Add a wedge plow for getting through the crowds and maybe a propane or diesel flame thrower and call it good.

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