Tag Archives: Zombie Plan

Top 10 Rigs for the Zombie Uprising.


10.   The HMMV, or Hummer.   While it is not a ideal in areas of operation where landmines and IED’s are used by insurgent forces, the HMMV offers many advantages.  It has enough power and clearance to plow through and over hordes of undead walkers.


9.  The Jeep Wranger.  Wait, what?  Yes.  A Jeep Wrangler… But specifically the Sahara or Rubicon and specifically with a Hard Top.  Ideally it would be the Rubicon.  A 2012 or newer stock or older with something other than the factory engines.  Any crate motor swap will do.  While not as overly rugged as a HMMV, the Jeep has the ability to thread through areas the big Hummer can’t go.  It’s also quicker.  Forget the things like soft tops, half doors and the popular Jeeper summer options… You don’t want nothing but canvas protecting you for the Biters.  You want something that can get you out of trouble and over those mountains?  This is good way to go.  That and you can find them at any abandoned Dealership.  So just go into the offices and find the keys.


8.  The MATV.  Built for warfare in areas too hostile for the HMMV, the MATV offers more mine resistance and greater clearance.  It’s high saddle allows you to see well over the heads of the oceans of shamblers you may have to roll over.  This beast can punch through into areas other rigs can’t go.  A turret up top allows one of your team to mount up a belt fed to help clear out path when things get rough.  And incase you run into marauders and bandits, it’s armored hull may prove to be a life saver.


7.  Chevy Avalanche.  The Avalanche is a great truck for a jack of all trades, do everything sort of rig.  4 doors allows your team to quickly get in and out, and the pickup bed can let you guys haul a lot of stuff and it has decent towing.  You’ll want to outfit it with some brush guards for pushing through undead biomasses.


6.  The Ford Raptor.  Sometimes you really need to get somewhere fast.   The Raptor can deliver your Rapid Response Team like no other.  Fast.  Agile.  Perfecting for racing over mounds of fallen undead.


5.  RAMROD.  You are going to need a vehicle that haul a lot of people and supplies.  You are going to need a vehicle that can push abandoned cars out of the way and clear the highway.  You need a Semi.  When you raid that Sam’s Club or Costco or Cabella’s, how are you going to bring all those good home?  You are going to have to find someone skilled to drive that if you don’t know how.  Don’t worry… you’ll find plenty of volunteers.


4.  A Highway Snow Blower.  Because sometimes to get where you need to go… You may need to paint the town red.  The problem with pushing your way through a horde of zombies is that they will be waiting for when you come back.    The upside to clearing a path this way… You have one hell of trail of bread crumbs to find your way back.


3.  Toyota FJ.  Giving you a more room and protection than a Jeep, but a smaller footprint and more range than a HMMV, the FJ just may be the best Zombie Rig that isn’t a Ford Raptor.  Great reliability for when you explore far from your base of operations.  These can go anywhere and do anything.

Blackhawk helicopters (AP file)

2.   A Blackhawk.  To get your team in and out of an area fast, extractions or tracking a target… You need some air power.   The Blackhawk is tough and reliable and easy to fly… as far as choppers are concerned.  And you get to yell “Get to the Choppa!”  Because you know you want to.


1. The Centauro.  Because you may need a tank.  Normal tanks are slow, cumbersome, and the tracks are problematic if you have a long way to go.  The Centauro can get there and bring everything you need a tank to bring, and then can haul ass home.  You can carry a squad of dismounts with you.  So you and your team can ride in style, kick ass, and bring back the bubble gum.


If you say Off Roading to different people, it’s going to mean different things.  And I don’t pretend to be an expert at anyone of them, but I’ve tried them…
Rock Crawling has never had much appeal to me.  Fighting your vehicle over obstacles may be fun for some… Twisting axels and drive shafts and blowing your tire’s bead off the rims… no, I don’t consider that fun.  Sure, it’s fun to watch others do it.  But I’ve never been tempted to do it for sport.  I’ve done it a couple times out of necessity in my Bronco or my Scotsdale… but I only did it to get out of areas I got into and had no other way out of.  No, I’ll avoid rock crawling as much as possible.
I’ve never liked Mudding either.  Sure it can be fun, but it can get you stuck tighter than anything else.  See, the Earth doesn’t like Mud Boggers and Mother Earth strives to punish them… Sucking them down ever deeper into her grasp.   I was once stuck for over 14 hours when I went Mudding with some folks in Washington State.  We were so stuck, a couple of us had to hike out to find Search and Rescue.   The Rescue vehicle showed up, pulled them out (While me and another fellow hung out at the Rescue Station and waited for them to make it back) and then got stuck them selves.   That cured me of all my desire for Mudding.   And then as further punishment, the Mud will get into your axles and bearings and everywhere else it can cause havoc and if you don’t get it washed out good – will act as a grinding compound to eat your vehicle alive.  No, no thank you.
Now then there is Overlanding.   This is my kind of off roading.  Overlanding is about traveling.  It’s about going some place, not just getting through some thing.  The way I see it, Overlanding has a point.  A destination as well as the journey.
I see a lot of Off Road vehicles guys are setting up and a lot of them just make me scratch my head.  What are they set up for?   To me, it seems they are set up for looks only.  Some look like they could be set up for Mudding or Rock Crawling until you look closer.  Few are set up to be an actual Bug Out Vehicle, yet that’s what their owners are saying they are.  I’m sorry, but Jeep is cool with your 454 on a stock 18 gallon tank turning 44″ tires isn’t going to get you much distance, so I hope you are not Bugging too far Out.
To me, a good Bug Out Vehicle has to be a good Overland Vehicle.  Imagine it this way… You have to get from one coast to the other, without going on a Freeway or passing through a city and avoiding as much population as possible, and avoiding Points of Entry along the way.  Now plot that course out.  You may have to take some trails or fire roads.  You may have to cross open BLM Land.  Forestry Trails.  Follow power line trails.
Okay, let’s get serious here.  Think about your Zombie Plan.  Your SHTF Plan.  Your Bug Out Plan… Where are you Bugging Out too? How are you going to get there.  Now think about who you are taking with you.  Okay, now think about what you are going to need.  Now think about how you are going to take that with you.  Yeah, just having a 4×4 isn’t the solution.   You may not actually need a 4×4.  If your plan is just “getting up into the mountains”… You need a better plan.
This is where Overlanding has some good value.  It’s like a how we go to Shooting Courses to learn the art of gunfighting… but for Bugging Out.  Get out there… get into the wilderness. Get away from Wi-Fi.  Disconnect from things.  And put yourself to the Bug Out Test.  By actually Bugging Out for awhile.
Man, I do miss my Chevy Scotsdale 4×4 right now.