Like many others, I’ve followed the Florida Bath Salt Zombie stories with morbid interest. Drudge has also been putting up articles able a couple Cannibals.
As a public service announcement, we must address the differences between a Zombie and a Cannibal.
Zombies have no will of their own, the wander around as if in a daze, voting Democrat, and they are undead. There is ample proof of this as a great many Registered Democrat Votes in hotly contested districts are indeed from people who have died…. then this Floridian Bath Salt Zombie… Yes, Zombies are real and they are out there.
If they bite you, there is a 90% chance you too might become a zombie. That last 10% chance – that’s your buddy shooting you in the head before you turn. If he is a good friend that is.
Cannibals however are very different. They can be very intelligent, careful planners, and they can craft elaborate traps for their victims. They are still human and are just like the rest of us… except they want to eat the rest of us… My point is they look at act (mostly) like anyone else. You can’t tell who is and who isn’t a Cannibal. But that just makes them all the more dangerous. Cannibals however could be found wearing Turtleneck Sweaters, Popped Collars, Berets, and Tight Pants that are not quite long enough.
The question remains – what to do about these two types of people eaters. The answer is simple. Once identified, the same counter measures and responses work well in both cases. SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD.
Check this out guys. In the last pistol class, we had a young lady attend who trained as hard as she could running a Walther that didn’t want to run. She did her everloving best and got through the course. Today, Dad got her a nice present… a new SIG. Niki was so excited she was giggling constantly and doing that “Pee-Pee Dance”. The genuine delight was wonderful, radiant, and infectious… she had other customers grinning too.
Nothing better than a New Gun! That’s some awesome Pro-Level parenting, Dad. Good job!
The labor was a long drawn out horrible affair, but all is well now and the baby is reportedly healthy and well cared for and loved. We all hope he starts making holsters with Dad soon!
Congratulations, with all my heart. Luke, give her and the baby a hug for me!
For all you guys saying the lead time is too much – Give them your order and cut them some slack – their whole world has just changed. For the better. Your new holster will get to you and you will be happy you had the patience.
Just got home from work, and I’m sitting on the front porch waiting for the sunset. It’s a cool evening, not hot like normal this time of year. It’s feeling perfect. To my left, I can hear the wheel lines watering the field of alfalfa almost ready for the first cutting. The water it’s spraying is casts a hundred little rainbows along the line. To my right, northward, there was rainstorms earlier in the mountains, but now Sun rays are making it glow vibrant green… for now. Later this year, those rays will burn the mountains to a scorched brown. The sun is getting lower in the west… The purple mountains westward, straight in front of me on the other side of the valley has a pass shaped like Buckhorn rifle sights… Beyond it is Salt Lake, and many of my dear friends. All around me, birds are singing. Robins, Larks, Sparrows, and Doves. All claiming this as their area… I grin… Because its mine.