“George, stop jumping on the Nuke.”

The ride out to SLC was fast and the Honda Magna did very well.  Save for one small detail.  I had thought that the seat was just fine.   Unfortunately on an extended ride, the seat becomes a torture worse than water-boarding.   The 100 mile range per tank is more than enough.  Because at about 60 miles, you have to get off that seat and get some blood back into the buttocks.

At Crusader HQ, I dropped off my ATI Commander for some slicking up and for a new finish… Cerakote.  In Battleship Grey.    We got the Grey Cerakote in for our customer, who I still can’t reveal.  But the color is awesome.  After talking with Joe and twisting his arm, he agreed to come with, on a little adventure.    I had  a mission.

Crown Burger.  They have a lot of things on the menu but the signature Crown Burger is extraordinary.  The pastrami adds a dimension to the burger that just can’t be had with mere beef.

The fries are awesome too.

After we ate we headed up to Hill AFB.   Our good friend, Nightcrawler met us at the gate where we set about for a tour of the EOD shop.

Crusader Weaponry at Hill

They have an old T-62 Tank outside the EOD shop.   Unfortunately, the story has to how they got this tank is unknown.

The Bombsuit.

I have many photos that I am not at liberty to publish.  But I can post some.  The Bombsuit is basically a full suit of Level III armor, legs, crotch, torso.. 75 pounds of pure encumbrance.  It can protect you from small bangs and fragments.  Unfortunately EOD has to deal with things much bigger.   You’ve seen this suit in TV and Movies, most notable is the film “Hurt Locker”.  I think the title is just about the suit.  It is awkward, heavy, and while your in it, all you can think about is wearing this walking bunker.  It makes doing everything difficult.   Doing fine little technical work – like defusing a bomb – while wearing one… I tell you, I couldn’t do it.  But this is what EOD does.  Luckily, they have help.

They have more robots than Star Wars.

I can’t tell you how many robots I saw.   Of course Robot is not really a correct term… Remotely Operated Vehicle.   It takes a very skilled operator to run one of these and do anything product with it.   I’ve played with RC cars… they all crashed.  The Post Title, telling me to stop jumping on the nuke… yeah.  Quote of the day.  That happened.  Yes, I am such a child.

The Bohemien Buffalo Burger

After Hill AFB, we ran down to the Bohemian Brewery for Buffalo Burgers.  Order it Medium-Rare.  Flavor, you’ll have it.  The Buffalo makes even the mighty Crown Burger a shadow of the majesty that it claims to be.   Makes you want to lick your screen, doesn’t it?   Around the table, we had Steve and his lovely bride and their small child, who was adorable.   Khorne was there.  Gundoc.  And SuperNaut.  We all dined on Buffalo, and it was easy to see why the Native Americans held them in such high regard.  But as good as the food was, the company was better.  It was dinner with The Family, and I enjoyed it more than anything else that day.

14 thoughts on ““George, stop jumping on the Nuke.””

  1. It had to be done as well as telling you to quit jumping on it. The whole day was awesome. One that was dearly needed here at HQ. Dinner, was absolutely dinner with the family and I mean every word of that. Thanks again everyone.

  2. The nuke I saw in Albuquerque was too small for a grown man to jump on. It was smaller than a SCUBA tank.

    I’d interested in the grey Cerakote for the cylinder of my 329PD. I’m tired of the gun looking dirty all the time.

  3. I did my time w/PRP when at Ramstein as a bolster/unbolster crewmember and EDM. I haven’t had the full EOD training but enough to know how to blow up a bomb dump with nothing more than det cord, pallets of MK82/84 GP bomb bodies, C4, a few rolls of electrical tape and at least 6′ of time fuse…don’t even need blasting caps. Nukes are even easier…MK24 (I believe) shaped charge and the nuke even has the velcro patch right where the demo goes. I got to blow up some C4 once a year for proficiency but nowhere the volume EOD does prolly on a weekly basis. Cool guys…a bit crazy but OK in my book. George, you need to ditch your seat and get a Corbin saddle. My first bike was brutal on anything more than 100 miles and I would actually scream inside my helmet. The Corbin was extremely comfortable and I always bought one for every bike that I had.

  4. You jumped on a nuke? Seriously? I mean, I know you can’t set one off by jumping on it, thank God, but still… you really scare me sometimes, Ogre.

  5. For those long rides, my advice is:
    1. Don’t wear jeans, or any pants that have rear pockets and inside seams. You want pants that are gusseted in the crotch, and have a single (outside) seam — like Gramicci climbing pants. This will keep your tender hide from rubbing on the seat and frame parts. Keep your wallet or any other man-gear out of those back pockets, if you have pockets…a tank bag or the pockets of your riding jacket are the place for those.

    2. Get your seat re-upholstered with tempur-pedic or similar foam underneath so it is cushier and takes a better form under your weight — failing that, get one of those gel overlay pads, or a sheepskin cover pad for the seat.

    3. Don’t ride in one position all day long, move around a little! Straighten/bend your arms, shift your feet around, wiggle in the seat — don’t get bound into one position, you’ll tighten up and wear yourself out.

    These little things will help you pull off > 600 mile days — ride safe!

  6. Even ramming the planes carrying them together and then jettisoning them over the ocean won’t trip all their safeties. It hasn’t yet, anyway…..

    1. There are so many safeguards on a nuke that even if you can get the HE booster to go it still won’t cause any nuculear yield…maybe some contamination but no big boom.

  7. Wow. And I thought I had a lot of readers in Government Agencies before… holy crap. Homeland Security, and the FBI is loving me. Don’t worry fellas. It was inert. Essentially a strangely shaped metal drum that couldn’t even hold water. Yeah, it was a nuke, but all the guts had been pulled out a long time ago.
    Hey, I hear helicopters…

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