The other day, I was called arrogant, stuck up, and such. That I act like I’m too good to join in certain conversations and to be friends with people. This is far from true… In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

You see, I have some pretty harsh self-esteem issues. I struggle with this daily. It’s one of the reasons I’ve pretty much stopped blogging almost completely… Why I only occasionally record videos. Why I don’t really take part.

Internally, I feel like I have nothing to contribute. And if I do, my words hold no value anyways. You haters out there – and I know I have more than my share – could not possibly come close to the scathing rebukes I give myself. The self-loathing and criticism is epic.

Let me be perfectly honest here… For the last decade, longer actually… I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts. Not occasionally… But daily. Constantly. There have been a few times when I’ve actually planned on doing just that. Find a nice place to park, put on some Pink Floyd and just end it. You see, that’s been my inner dialog. But I decided that no matter what – I’m not going to do that. Though, inside I have to admit that I actually want to.

I feel like before I can let myself find peace… I have some work to do yet. I’m not afraid of dying… I’ve had a “near-death experience” before and I was disappointed in “coming back”. I wanted to stay there. I look forward to returning there. But not yet.

Arrogant… I wish. I’d like to know what that feels like. Maybe I was, back when I was in my 20’s. But now that I’ve hit 50, I pretty much have forgotten what that could even mean. If you hear me talking about myself – I’m not trying to impress you. I’m trying to tell myself that maybe I have some self-value here, and that I’m good enough to be apart of whatever the situation is. Maybe. Because really all that ever really does for me is make me feel worse.

Let me be clear – I am not asking for help or reaching out. I’m only seeking a cathartic release in this confession. This is not a cry for help and you do not need to take this as a call to action and I don’t need anyone to reach out. This has been well over a decade, and I’m still here. Like it or not.

Being in the auto industry, I get to examine a lot of different vehicles. And when I say a lot, I do mean all of them. And being the opinionated Ogre that I am… I have my biases. This is a personal fault of mine, and I embrace it. However, I am often delighted when I find that a company has really stepped up their game and I have to admit that I am now wrong.

Buick’s 2018-2019 Regal series is generally rather boring, being somewhere in the GM line up as an elevated Chevy, or discount Caddy. But the Regal GS package is a little different. Someone at Buick spiked the dish with a little hot sauce. Because you can have it with a V-6, and All Wheel Drive, and seats that don’t feel like they belong in a retirement home community room. This is something for the Lads… and to be honest, this is something that I am increasingly interested in, Comfortable Sedans that just happen to not be boring.

This is a Car well worth looking at. Well worth taking a test drive in. I think it’s one of the best sedan options out there, and if you are looking for an American sedan… One of the very best in an ever shrinking list. It feels more of a premium vehicle than say, a V-6 Charger… And not as pretentious as a Caddy. I really like it. One of the things I also like about it… the engine is Naturally Aspirated. I appreciate a twin turbo’s power boost, but I like the feel of an NA engine.

This car will compare well against an Audi A6, BMW 326, Genesis G70, as well as certain sedans from Lexus and Acura. So if you are looking at this segment… I think the Regal GS is well worth the consideration.

We have all seen the new Policy put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you haven’t, here’s a link to it. For a long time, the church has said that guns carried into the buildings were inappropriate. Now, they have basically outright banned them for anyone that is not a uniformed officer on duty.

I’m a Mormon. A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. No, I am not pleased with this. Not at all. One of my ancestors was, in fact, a Martyr of the LDS Church. He was shot off of his horse by an Anti-Mormon mob. Others of my family faced mobs and were driven across the country by Hate. Mormons have a thick history with this as we were driven from our homes repeatedly. My family had suffered from this, as had many others. We’ve seen violence at our church buildings… so being prepared is something that we just do. So no, I am very much not happy about this policy change.

You know what though? Churches are for matters of God, not matters of men or politics. So I’m not going to mix those. It’s not a good mix. That being said, Concealed Means Concealed. If they Trespass me for that, well, then it’s an instant 10% raise as I won’t have to pay tithing anymore. While I might disagree with the policy of the corporate structure of the church, my faith and belief in the gospel remains unshaken.

Here’s why… The Church operates on two different levels… One of them being Spiritual, and the other you can call Corporate. This policy is from that Corporate side of things and is not Church Doctrine. Members such as myself, understand the difference, though to the uninitiated it might seem otherwise. Basically, if it’s not a matter of Doctrine, then it’s a Policy.
Joseph Smith said it himself, “a prophet is only a prophet when acting as such.”

I’m done with Facebook. I’m on MeWe now. You can find me under the same name there, but here’s the URL to my Profile.
I’ll only keep my FB account for Business related things. Maybe check messages once a week at most.

In my opinion CRKT is a lot like Babe Ruth, the Sultan of Swat. Babe Ruth swung more Strike Outs than anyone. A record breaking number of swings and misses… But at the same time, he made some crushing home runs. What is he remembered for? No one remembers his strike outs. They remember his home runs. It’s really easy to dismiss a knife company that takes so many swings and makes so many misses. I used to pretty much just flat out hate CRKT and I dismissed everything they did because of all the misses. But they really do smash some home runs. Their catalog has a whole bunch of them. Why is that? Because they are not afraid to take the swing. I like that. What I don’t like are their secondary locking mechanism… freaking tumors on otherwise good designs. But the Pilar doesn’t have a secondary lock.

The PILAR is one of the Home Runs. It’s different… A unique take on the new trend of Cleaver Style blades, which are just butch Wharncliffe style blades. And that’s a good description of the Pilar. It’s butch. It’s stout. It’s kinda thick, but not too thick that one doesn’t want to carry it. I don’t like thick folders for EDC use. But this one isn’t that thick… It’s thick enough to have enough beef to it that you feel like you can really get in there and get some work done if needed. Which is good. This is a Gentlemanly Working Knife. It EDC’s very well, and even leaves you more than enough room to still have a usable pocket when you carry this clipped to said pocket. As one of my Lads would say, “She thick”. Which is evidently a good thing. I think that suits the Pilar. She thick.

The other nice thing, is that the knife is quite attractive. It’s good looking in that “She Thic” kind of way. The Pilar has some technical look to it and in a solid stainless construction, looks and feels like something Cyber Punkish. It opens and locks like a Bank Vault. Maybe a little too much so. The Frame lock is as stout as the knife… meaning, it’s a bit stiff to unlock. After working the Pilar for a couple weeks, it’s gotten a bit easier. It doesn’t hurt my thumb to unlock it anymore. And the knife has smoothed out a great deal. I can easily and quickly open the knife by holding the blade hole between finger and thumb, and flicking the handle down. This method of opening puts the blade in a perfect working position.

The Pilar is by no means a “Tactical” knife. The grips are too slick. The blade too short and blunted. It’s not black or flat dark earth or coyote tan. There’s no Green Berets that used it to slit Taliban throats. Army Rangers don’t rappel out of hovering choppers holding this knife in their teeth. Marine Raiders don’t keep one in their boots when pillaging. Navy Seals don’t use these for trimming their nails and cuticles. It’s just NOT a tactical knife. But an Office Manager might use this to open a package of Notepads and Pens he ordered from Amazon. An Account Agent might use this to break into the next pack of Coffee for her morning wake up in the office break room. Steven in Acquisitions might use one to trim his Steak during lunch. There’s a lot of real world uses for a good folder that do not involve Violence… and this Pilar just might be a great little knife for that. Because even around the most melty of snowflakes… pulling this out in front of them wont cause them to signal to Human Resources that you have a dangerous weapon. They just might instead say something like, “Hey, that’s pretty cool.”

Because it really is pretty cool. For a 2.4″ Frame Lock knife, it is about as cool as it gets without looking like you’re about to go Sweeny Todd on someone. (Like the Gerber Flatiron or CRKT Ripsnort) It looks like this knife is more interested in opening a bag of crisps rather than jugular veins. It’s a well behaved and handsome EDC type knife that wont raise alarms, but maybe an eyebrow or two. And it’s about 25 bucks on Amazon.com. Can’t beat that.

My EDC package.
Ruger SP101 .357 Magnum, 3″, with Hogue Monogrips

The Ruger is amazingly accurate, even with the full house 158 grain semi-jacketed hollow points.  And thanks to the bigger rubber grips, it’s not uncomfortable to shoot.  Of course, with lighter loads, it’s just a pussycat. 
This is an Adam’s Holsters Texas rig.  I’ve had it for a couple years now and it still looks like new, save for some wear along the very top edge.  Holds the gun nice and tight to the body, and I can wear it all day long.
Here we have the Benchmade Crooked River folder.  I love this knife. It’s a full sized folder, making it larger than in commonly carried.  But it’s wicked sharp, amazingly smooth, and just looks so very good.

A long time ago I listened to a lecture from a guy that was some sort of Financial Wizard.  He said that we spend our money on Two Things… Guns and Butter.   The terms are figurative… Allow me to explain.
Guns are Assets.  Guns are things that either Hold Value or Gain Value over time.    A Gun, if you buy it right, will be worth what you paid for it, and can even go up in value if you buy them right.  That’s another subject all together, investing in guns… But I digress.  A Classic Car can be considered a Gun Type Purchase… Property… Anything that becomes an Asset to you that either gains value in and of its self, or allows you to make profits because of it.  Such as Tooling for your business.
Butter are things that either lose value over time or are consumed.   For example, you can buy a pound of butter now, and in a couple months, you no longer have a pound of butter… it’s either been used up or has gone rancid.    Butter is also those normal expenses we all have or frivolous spending… like that new boat you want.  Because the value of that boat will go down over time.
Now, this sounds very wise to want to spend more on Guns than you do Butter.  However this Financial Guru missed the 3rd and most important Thing that we Should be spending money on:  MEMORIES. Continue reading Guns & Butter →

I’ve ended all my consultation agreements, and I’m closing all those accounts within the firearms industry.   I’m done with everything having to do with guns, professionally.   I’m “Out”.   However, I will continue with my interests in firearms as a hobby.  I’m venturing into a new career in the Motorcycle industry with Triumph, BMW, and Ducati.  So you will continue see some gun related content, but a lot more about motorcycles.