Nice Purse.

Wife and I stopped at SMITH’s the other night. I noticed a guy wearing a “Tactical Bag”. Didn’t think much of it. I watched this guy walk around, purse over his shoulder. He’d talk on his phone, put it back in. Take out a widget, do something with it, then put it back in his purse, while pushing a shopping cart just like all the other women in the store.
This biker dude walks up to the ManPurse Packer and I just happened to be within earshot, as I was selecting bacon and the Purse Man was checking out the Sausages.
“Nice Purse.” The Biker said.
“It’s not a purse!” The Purse Guy said, indignantly. “It’s a Maximum Expedition Tactical Load bearing Assault Recon Bag!”
“Yeah? Well whatever the hell you call it, it’s still a fucking brown purse, bitch.” Then he walked away.
I was trying not to laugh as the Purse Guy just stood there stammering like his whole world was crushed. I picked up the bacon I wanted and walked past him heading out of the damage zone. He looked at me and saw that I was still trying not to laugh.
“It’s not a purse.” He said, defiantly.
I kept walking but said over my shoulder, “None of my business, pal. Whatever makes you feel butch.”
I saw the guy yesterday. He didn’t have the big with him.

22 thoughts on “Nice Purse.”

  1. I have a maxpedition fatboy man purse. It is great for keeping useful stuff organized and moving it from one car to another, but I don’t think I could bring myself to actually wear it in public unless there was some type of dire emergency or I had to leave my truck to walk for help. I would never walk around the grocery store with one. It either screams “I have a gun” or looks like you are carrying a purse depending on who is paying attention.

  2. My Winderness Safepacker doesn’t hold a phone; just a 1911 and spare magazine. Does that mean it’s not a man purse?

  3. I tote a bag full of diapers, baby food, clothes, and other sundries. I thought about doing up the baby stuff in a tactical vest of some sort mostly just for giggles. Though it would be handy as I could bandage, keep the zombie hoard at bay, and change a poop filled dipper all at once. I keep my gun in a holster, and my phone in my pocket though.

  4. Personally, if a guy with a biker’s fashion sense walked up to me and offered advice on what I was wearing, I’d be too dumbfounded to respond.

  5. The smartass purse wearer should have responded:
    “At least I don’t wear assless chaps with my boyfriends”

    lol, man purse. We have pockets in our jeans, USE them.

  6. If you’re going to wear a man purse, at least be honest with yourself about.

    On the other hand, who gives a crap what some random biker dude thinks? Ooh, he’s got a leather jacket and didn’t shave, he must be tough!

    Yeah. Real outlaw there, wandering around a Smith’s grocery store in Utah. Straight out of Sons of Anarchy. I bet he sometimes drives over the speed limit, too.

    Yawn. Is there something about buying a Harley that makes you want to wear the halloween costume that goes with it?

  7. I have a Maxpedition Mongo Versi-pack. Holds my glucometer, the assorted reloads for the ‘meter and the lancet, a seven-day supply of meds, and other sundries rather neatly.

    As far as the biker’s opinion goes — meh.

    He wants to compare scars, aches, nightmares and graveyards, we might talk. Otherwise the old saying concerning opinions and other parts of the anatomy still stands true. And he can stuff his opinion right up the second half of that saying.

  8. Re: The biker. If he’s so fucking pencil dicked insecure that he has to walk up to a perfect stranger and say some bullshit like that, well, sorry about your penis size, bro. Faux tough guys that try to belittle other guys are the real bitches. The dude with the purse was using it for whatever EDC he felt was necessary. Dude at least had the balls to, initially, walk around with it. But, now, because of douche-canoe biker fag, dude has been discouraged in carrying his EDC which may or may not have held stuff that could be life saving. What if he had a small trauma kit in it? Pistol, or ammo. Light. Pocket tool. Whatever. Maybe some type of emergency gear or life saving gear that now, because he had a bad experience, he may not carry. Yeah, (sarcasm on), he’s a real “bitch”.

    1. Gene, do you really need to walk around with all that gear all the time? In a Grocery Store?
      That’s too much. I’m not going to roll around all 11-B Equipped. Cops don’t even do that. They leave their trauma kits in their cars.

      1. Sorry, man, but, I am a cop, and, I have many cop buddies that have EDC (including trauma kits) they carry all the time. Some on a belt pouch. Some in a purse. Some distributed in pockets. I have a minimum of things I always carry on my person, and, in my man bag (that I don’t carry around all the time, but it is at least in my car) I have more stuff. But then, I work for a large metro agency with a lot of switched on guys, rather than a rural dept. Not to bag on small town guys, but, I was a small town cop once upon a time, and the contrast between the 2 is very distinct. I knew small agency guys that scoffed at carrying even an off-duty gun. My current agency, I don’t know ANYONE that doesn’t carry 24/7, and some of us carry off-duty backups. maybe it’s a cultural thing. I guess my point is, there is nothing wrong with carrying that stuff, and it’s immature to mock a guy for being prepared and responsible.

        1. Oh, and so far as carrying that stuff in a Grocery store, the same could be said for guys that carry concealed in a Grocery store… I figured you would be one of the last people to make that statement.

          1. Oh, I’m not busting on you or being a dick. We, as professionals and responsible individuals, should be an example to the rest of the populace that are on the fence. Strategic thinking, and reaction, can bring more people over to our side. EDC. Concealed Carry. Conservative thinking. It’s a bit deeper than some biker-douche-dick-measuring contest. It’s about changing public perception. It’s about getting people to start THINKING.

  9. I always am carrying something of similar ilk, Black cordura wire reinforced. Only response is,thank you. That pisses them off. Same as the person in one of my substance abuse class who called me a MF response I’m sorry I don’t share your habits, group laughed he discharged himself the next day.,

  10. Biker vests and ‘cycle boots don’t make the man either. And fanny packs don’t “queer” someone. This is the kind of childishness that turns potential allies into enemies.

  11. I carry one; a Maxpedition somethingorother Versipack. I don’t much care what people think about it or call it – I find it useful, so I carry it. If you give pretty much the same response nutz mentioned, people tend to walk away pretty quickly.

  12. The proper response to “Nice purse.” is “Thanks. It’s a lot more useful than just pockets.”

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