Wife and I stopped at SMITH’s the other night. I noticed a guy wearing a “Tactical Bag”. Didn’t think much of it. I watched this guy walk around, purse over his shoulder. He’d talk on his phone, put it back in. Take out a widget, do something with it, then put it back in his purse, while pushing a shopping cart just like all the other women in the store.
This biker dude walks up to the ManPurse Packer and I just happened to be within earshot, as I was selecting bacon and the Purse Man was checking out the Sausages.
“Nice Purse.” The Biker said.
“It’s not a purse!” The Purse Guy said, indignantly. “It’s a Maximum Expedition Tactical Load bearing Assault Recon Bag!”
“Yeah? Well whatever the hell you call it, it’s still a fucking brown purse, bitch.” Then he walked away.
I was trying not to laugh as the Purse Guy just stood there stammering like his whole world was crushed. I picked up the bacon I wanted and walked past him heading out of the damage zone. He looked at me and saw that I was still trying not to laugh.
“It’s not a purse.” He said, defiantly.
I kept walking but said over my shoulder, “None of my business, pal. Whatever makes you feel butch.”
I saw the guy yesterday. He didn’t have the big with him.