The Internet's Original Gun Critic

Standing the Test of Time

We all know that Hollywood has a thing for “Remakes”. It’s a money making formula for them. The biggest excuses for doing a Remake, is that the original film was “Dated”. And in some cases, maybe they have some point. For example, Clash of the Titans was certainly dated, but in doing the Remake, they ruined the charm of Clash of the Titans and destroyed all the reasons to like it. The new version is total rubbish.
There are some movies however that stand the test of time and you can enjoy them just as much now as when the film first came out.
Alien & Aliens. Predator. The Thing. Bladerunner.
These movies are so good, that they are Required Viewing for membership in The Horde. If you don’t like these films, you probably sodomize garden gnomes and stab kittens with shrimp forks. Anyone attempting to even put forward the idea to do a Remake on these films need to be up against a wall before they could finish the sentence.

33 Comments

  1. Muhr's Gravatar Muhr
    05/25/2011    

    The original Die Hard.

    • 05/25/2011    

      Yeah, that’s a classic too.

  2. Buzz Carter's Gravatar Buzz Carter
    05/25/2011    

    Shrimp forks? yowza.

  3. ped's Gravatar ped
    05/25/2011    

    I hope Spielberg and Lucas don’t read your blog. They’d probably announce 4 new remakes tomorrow.

  4. 05/25/2011    

    Smokey and the Bandit
    The ORIGINAL gone in 60 seconds
    Bullitt
    Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
    The Outlaw Josey Wales

    Jim

    • Wild Deuce's Gravatar Wild Deuce
      05/26/2011    

      It would be impossible to remake Bullitt. There are no cars or actors of that caliber in existence today. Seriously, who in their right mind would try to replicate the ’68 Mustang, ’68 Charger or The King of Cool??

      • 05/26/2011    

        The audacity of someone to even think of reprising McQueen’s roll in Bullitt should be enough to warrant justifiable homicide.
        And as for cars… no… there are no cool cars at that level anymore.

    • IrateIrishman's Gravatar IrateIrishman
      05/26/2011    

      The ORIGINAL gone in 60 seconds was great for what it was, particularly considering Halicki financed the movie himself. The chase scene in “Eleanor” at the end was pretty lacking though in comparison to the remake. Nick Cage is hit or miss in most roles, but I see nothing wrong with the newer version(sometimes you just want some over the top/impossible action). With Hollywood at the helm it could have ended up like “The fast and the furious”….

      • 05/26/2011    

        See, I am totally with you on that… I didn’t consider the first one to be sacred classic material. The Nick Cage version is actually very hip and well done. I didn’t really dig the CGI Mustang Leap, but overall it was good.

        • IrateIrishman's Gravatar IrateIrishman
          05/26/2011    

          Not to mention the fact that the new “Eleanor” was just damn sexy while the original was probably the second ugliest Mustang ever built(only beaten by the Mustang II). The cool factor of the original was that Halicki was a real car guy who did it just cause he liked cool cars.

    • 05/26/2011    

      Josey Wales was epic. That’s another classic that needs to remain untouched.
      When they said they were remaking True Grit – I was disgusted and angry. However they did a fantastic job because they stuck with the original book, which I read in high school. I actually think the new version is better than the old. But I don’t think – I really don’t think anyone could out do what Clint did any any of his westerns.

  5. Timmeehh's Gravatar Timmeehh
    05/25/2011    

    The remake of the Thing is being released this year!

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0905372/

    • fatNINJA's Gravatar fatNINJA
      05/26/2011    

      I think it’s actually supposed to be a prequel. A story from the POV of the Norwegian science team that dies off before the original film.

  6. Dave's Gravatar Dave
    05/25/2011    

    Kelly’s Heroes

    • Mephisto's Gravatar Mephisto
      05/26/2011    

      Sometimes I wish someone would but than I come to the fact that there isnt anyone that could play Crapgame better that Mr. Rickles.

  7. LouisCQ's Gravatar LouisCQ
    05/26/2011    

    You forgot Big Trouble in Little China and Buckaroo Banzai. Well the latter is optional n

    • 05/26/2011    

      I agree with you on Big Trouble. In fact, I need to watch that one again.

  8. Brian Parramore's Gravatar Brian Parramore
    05/26/2011    

    Casablanca, African Queen, Music Man

  9. fatNINJA's Gravatar fatNINJA
    05/26/2011    

    My choice for this list is RoboCop 1 & 2. Nothing else is poo.

    • fatNINJA's Gravatar fatNINJA
      05/26/2011    

      Everything else in the SERIES is poo.

      Note to self: don’t try to reply to two different forums at once.

  10. Huey148's Gravatar Huey148
    05/26/2011    

    Predator….more testosterone than should be allowed by law…

    • Dave's Gravatar Dave
      05/26/2011    

      haha, that’s awesome.

    • fatNINJA's Gravatar fatNINJA
      05/26/2011    

      GET TO THE CHOPPA!!

      • 05/26/2011    

        GET TO DA CHOPPA! – Fixed it for you.

  11. ScottTN's Gravatar ScottTN
    05/26/2011    

    All great movies, agreed.

    But ya gotta know, Ogre, the Gnome was asking for it. That pointy hat, those short little lederhosen…. um, er, be back in a few, gotta go, uh… I’ll be right back.

    ;)

    • 05/26/2011    

      Funny.. nasty… but funny…

  12. Mephisto's Gravatar Mephisto
    05/26/2011    

    I just hope that Pale Rider is never touched, although I would love to see a prequel to it.

  13. sarge712's Gravatar sarge712
    05/26/2011    

    I just enlightened my rookie to Bullitt last week; the poor kid is a street racing fan but had never seen the Chase of Chases. As has already been posted, no one today could come close to McQueen or replace that car.

    I just watched Road Warrior last night. That and Mad Max must. never. be. re-made. They are cultural icons and stand the test of time. There are so many unique characters from both that could never be recast in a better way: Feral Kid, Gyro Captain, Mohawk Maniac, MAX, Goose, Toe Cutter, etc.

    I also recently watched Blade Runner and was still amazed at how awesome the special effects are 30 years later.

    There just aren’t any movies of that caliber any more.

  14. Muhr's Gravatar Muhr
    05/26/2011    

    The problem is not just that they remake every damn idea over until it doesn’t sell, it is that they kill every part of the successful films, show your average 25 year old Bullitt and they cannot appreciate it because the chase seen has been redone shot by shot every two years in a ‘new’ movie for the last 30 years.

    By the way, Top Gun and Cobra were released 25 years ago this month.

    GETTING OLD SUCKS.

    • Muhr's Gravatar Muhr
      05/26/2011    

      Oh… and Aliens hits 25 in July…

      ripped from IMDB, best lines of the movie, outside of all of Hudson’s

      Hudson: [puts his rifle against Burke’s head] I say we grease this rat-fuck son-of-a-bitch right now.
      Hicks: It just doesn’t make any goddamn sense.
      Ripley: He figured that he could get an alien back through quarantine, if one of us was… impregnated… whatever you call it, and then frozen for the trip home. Nobody would know about the embryos we were carrying… me and Newt.
      Hicks: Wait a minute, now… we’d all know.
      Ripley: Yes. The only way he could do it is if he sabotaged certain freezers on the way home… namely, yours. Then he could jettison the bodies and make up any story he liked.
      Hudson: Fuck. He’s dead. You’re dog-meat, pal!
      Burke: This is so nuts. I mean, listen – listen to what you’re saying. It’s paranoid delusion. How – It’s really sad. It’s pathetic.
      Ripley: You know, Burke, I don’t know which species is worse. You don’t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.
      Hicks: All right, we waste him. No offense.
      Ripley: No. He’s gotta go back.

  15. Scott(dot4x4)'s Gravatar Scott(dot4x4)
    05/27/2011    

    The one movie that I believe will never be re-done and certainly should not be redone is “the great escape”. I am only 36 and I still think its one of the top 10 films of all time.

  16. JackCrow's Gravatar JackCrow
    05/27/2011    

    Amen Ogre!
    I have watched John Carpenter’s “The Thing” more times than any other movie and of course “Bladerunner”is a masterpiece.

    Hollywood is completely out of ideas but they need to keep their stupid hands off of the Greats.

  17. 05/27/2011    

    Ogre, you capture my sentiments regarding the Conan remake.

    Pure folly. While there are many barbarians, there is only one true Conan.

    This is heresy, I say!

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