10.  The S&W Sigma.   A direct attempt at copying Glock.  Who’s idea was this anyways?  Who thought that it was a good idea to copy Glock so closely the first versions you could even swap parts?  They did a pretty good job to… They got everything right… save for the quality and not knowing what a decent trigger is supposed to feel like.  They were crap then, and only until the last iteration now called the “SD Series” is it even half decent.  Which brings me to #9.

9.  The S&W SD Series.  Trying to make the Sigma into a half decent gun, they’ve almost gone close enough to the M&P  That it makes me scratch my head.  Who are they competing with now?  Drop the SD’s and the Sigmas all together, and lower the cost of the M&P by deleting unnecessary milling processes by giving it normal straight slide serrations and simpler slide geometry like on the SD while keeping the quality high like the rest of the M&P series.  Done.  You’ll be a better price point and you are no longer competing against yourself.   The SD may seem to be filling a nitch, but it really isn’t anymore.  It’s more money than that the cheaper guns, still has the Sigma Stigma, so buyers are just confused about it and either go cheaper or just get an M&P.  Couldn’t give those things away as a Retailer.

8.  Taurus.  Anything Taurus.  This whole list could be just the Taurus Product Catalog, but that’s too easy.  So I’m just going to say “Taurus”.  I’m not a Dealer anymore so I don’t have to make allowances or mince words about them.  The only thing half decent from them are better made by S&W and Beretta.  I know they are growing and trying hard and getting better, but they are not there yet.

7.   CZ P-07 Duty.  It’s ugly.  It’s awkward.  The CZ-100 looked cooler and should have been improved.  “This is a P-01 with plastic frame”, no it isn’t.  Because a P-01 doesn’t look like a Hi Point got drunk and fucked a Baby Eagle with Down Syndrome. I hate the trigger guard, the trigger pull and the sights.  If there is anything good to be said about the P-07 Duty, is that you can’t hurt it’s feelings when you throw it off a bridge from the center span.

6.  Ruger LCR.  A Plastic framed revolver.  W. T. F.  Take something traditional, and make it bite a pillow.  For what gain?  What’s the point?  To make it lighter?  Take an SP101 and make it out of a light weight alloy like Smith & Wesson and even Taurus does with the classic J Frame.  They figured it out, why can’t Ruger?  Come on Ruger, Make an Air Light SP-101.  Put some effort in it.  Instead you phoned it in with a Polymer frame that looks like you made it on a 3D Printer after drinking too much Wild Turkey and staring too long at an HK VP70 and then watching Blade Runner with one hand down your pants.

5.  The SIG 2022.  You want a SIG, but you don’t want to pay for one.  So you get this runt of the litter pick that only has one step below it on the SIG ladder, the P-250… you don’t want that, you want a “Real SIG” as I’ve heard said from behind the gun counter so many times I now have an involuntary eye roll when I hear “SIG 2022”.  While it’s not really a bad gun, it’s just the weird way they made the grips.  They couldn’t sack up and just make a decent grip like other guys, they have to just have interchangeable grips like all the cool guys do… But they could do it like that, they had to make the whole grip frame into two pieces like they just gave up and the end of the design day so it’s like a Stephen King book that’s good until the last chapter when King says “Fuck it” and let’s his Editor finish the ending for him.

4.  The XD.  Sure, it’s a good pistol, functionally.  But it’s dated and now eclipsed by the new XDM series which not only looks better but is better in capacity, trigger and accuracy.  Leaving the base XD’s in the Springfield line up is like Ford leaving the Mustang II in the line up as a low cost alternative to a new Mustang GT.

3.  Kahr’s CW Series.  Horrible patterning and molding on a gun that could be so much better.  The guns themselves are full of good potential but Kahr cheaped out on them so hard that it’s laughable.  The actions are about as smooth as Hillary Clinton’s thighs, while being about the same weight.  It’s impossible to drop the slides using the lever, which is about as sharp edged as a new CRKT knife – and I hate CRKT knives too.  For the price of 399, the gun might hit that “I’m cheap enough to buy on a whim” price, the fact that you can’t even throw in a spare mag makes the CW’s laughable.  And then the price of the upper scale P series is even more laughable considering they look virtually identical.  Find some Middle Ground, make the CW smoother, throw in that second magazine.  The trick to selling a CW is to make sure they don’t try to handle it.  Because they will try to pull the slide back, and then try to release the slide again… at which point the customer fails and and asks to look at the Stoeger Cougar.  Sure it will protect you, but it will also hurt you… leaving the only people who like the CW’s as Domination Mistresses and guys who talk like they’ve had repeated concussions.

2.  I was going to say The Judge here, but I’ll just leave that in the junk pile of #8 and move on to the Hi Point.  However the Hi-Point its self is what it is and remains a self defense value.  If it was food, it would be the burger off the Dollar Menu at McDonalds.  They are cheap.  Crappy, but cheap.  And they work pretty good, for what you paid for it.  But what makes it something that raises my lip into a Billy Idol Snear is the hordes of People Of Walmart who come out of Wal-Zone to defend the Hi-Point, yelling their one toothed yells of how good they are.  I’ve watched 4 of them self destruct in the hands of the owners while shooting.  Spontaneous Self Destruction, or Self Field Stripping… I can’t tell if this is a Bug or a Feature.   Next time someone tells you a High Point is good, ask them to Field Strip it for you.  Piece Of Shit.  For 130 bucks for a self defense tool to ride in a tool box, man, it’s fine for that.  For something to be actually used from time to time – Buy a good tactical folding knife.  You’ll get more mileage out of it.

1.  Kimber Ultra.  Any Kimber Ultra sized 1911.  Ultra Carry, Ultra CDP, whatever it is, it’s going to look nice, but not actually work.  Attractive and Useless… like Half the population of California, Blackberries, and Super Models that don’t speak English.  They are also expensive.   I can’t tell where the pride in ownership of a Kimber Utra CDP comes from, but it must be like owning a Prius.  You have an expensive, nice looking gun that is too good for the rest of us peasants that actually want a tool to be functional.  That’s fine.  You can look down your nose at my pedestrian Glocks, or my son’s M&P… but we can at least get through a day long shooting course without praying to Kimber that the gun finish a Magazine without Jamming.