Tag Archives: Sucks

Lawn Mower Rant

North Carolina is blessed with awesome growing weather.   You can grow a lawn on your roof here.  The perfect blend of Rain and Sun and optimal growing temperatures for like 10 months in the year.
This means a lot of lawn mowing.  For some, this is a source of great pride and satisfaction.

For me it’s a bloody curse.  For one, I’m allergic to cut grass.  I’m fine around grass, until it starts getting mowed and whatever the feck it is that comes out of it just about kills me.  Watery, red, puffy eyes, and nose that wont stop running.  So for me, when I start cutting grass, I want it done fast and thorough and none of that bagging crap.  I like a Mower and Mulcher in one.  Know what I mean?   This isn’t much to ask for, is it?  Evidently it is.  Because in the last 5 months I’ve gone through 3 mowers.  This last one, did only half the yard before it just went belly up.  Sure it’s used, but before it started on my lawn we had it serviced.  Cleaned out, fresh oil and filter and a new spark plug.  Tuned up.   Ran like a champ…. In the front yard.  And then the Mower must have looked in the back yard because it just said “Screw this” and shut down.   It will start… and it will run… for about 5 seconds max.  Just like the last two.  Even after getting them professionally serviced.  Even had a new carb on one of them.

All three had one thing in common.   MURRAY.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Murray Lawn Mowers really and truly suck.   They are the Phoenix Arms of Lawn Mowers.   Fine when brand new but a couple boxes of ammo through it and they fall apart.  I will never deal with another one for the rest of my life.   I’ll never deal with another Phoenix – or MURRAY ever again.  Life is TOO SHORT.

 

Action Movies I Hate

WANTED.  Love the Angelina Jolie looking all hot and sinister… but I really hate the BS about the magic healing milk bath, the magic code weaving loom, and most of all… the curving bullets.

COMMANDO.  50 Kills in 3 minutes. Lemmings just lining up for the Governator to mow down.  Come on.  Could no one flank that guy?

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III.  In an attempt to show Tom Cruise’s acting ability, he did the whole movie with his eyes welling up with tears.

Everything with Jean-Claude Van Damme.  I just hate that guy.

Damn near everything on NETFLIX.