Gear

Fenix PD36 TAC

3 Comments

The ubiquitous Tactical Flashlight… Something that every Self Defense Expert says you should always EDC. You should always have a Flashlight on you, always. Everyday, all the time, like your wallet, knife, and Roland Special modified Glock, and a Trauma Kit. Because you’re permanently out of bubblegum.

I’ll be honest, I do not always carry a flashlight on my person. But do always have one handy, nearby, and ready to go.

The “Ready to Go” part is often a pain in the lamp. Surefire lights have been the go-to standard for tactical operators at every shooting range. But I’ve found they have two issues. One, they are really just not that bright. Like a lot of tactical operators at every shooting range. And they are very thirsty. They guzzle the juice from a set of batteries like a Frat Boy at a Party Keg. And CR123’s are not the most price point friendly. That being said… Standard. Surefire does some things very right. The light output is good. But better yet, they are solid. Rock Freaking Solid. I’ve literally never had one fail. The Switches always work. The water-proofing is flawless. And I’ve taken them on many adventures and miss-adventures and grand adventures. The failure point though has always been me, because they’ll start to drain and I could have freaking sworn I brought the spare batteries with me in the pack’s zippered compartment, right where I… Ah, I used them already.

The PD36 is sized well… Appropriately for the purpose. And it’s equipped with a fully functional pocket clip. Though, I’ve never used any clips on any lights for clipping to a Pocket. That’s where my knife goes. But they do clip on other things in other places just fine, thank you. Such as Molle loops. When did Molle become more popular than Alice? I liked Alice. Anyways… So let’s talk about the most important thing for a Light. The Light.

This thing is insanely bright. THREE THOUSAND Lumens. Good Hell. You could hunt for German Bombers over London with these things. You could signal for edgy loner anti-social super-heroes with this. It’s bright. Do not look directly into the LED. It’s like looking into a nuclear reaction. Trust me.

At 3,000 Lumen output, the lamp will get hot. That’s expected. Hot enough that there’s actually a warning etched onto the light. Disregard that warning at your own risk. Now, pouring out 3KL is going to drain that battery pretty quickly. It’s only going to last an hour and a half. They call that TURBO mode. That’s the highest of the Modes. Welcome to the 80’s.
Now here’s where it’s interesting. The Tail Cap has two switch positions. Tactical and Duty. I don’t know who’s naming this shit, but they need to step away from the X-Box. “Tactical” gives you a simple on and off into HIGH mode that puts out a reasonable, useful, and honestly the best balance of output and firepower… 2,000 Lumens. But if you press it right you’ll find that dumbass strobe mode… Because Lightswitch Raves are something REAL OPERATORS do. Just ask MARSOC. Anyways, that’s at 2KL as well.
The Duty Mode gives you the same Strobe mode, but then you can get to some good stuff… Eco Mode, which is 30 Lumens for 160 hours. Low Mode for 150 Lumens for 18 hours and 45 Minutes. Medium for 350 Lumens for 10 hours and 10 minutes, and then Duty-High, not the same as Tactical-High… 1000 Lumens for 3 hours and 15 minutes.
All of that is just overkill and tapping the endcap button to select the mode you want is just 2001 Space Bullshit. This is 2021 and Simplicity is Gold. You already have to twist the end cap to select Tactical or Duty. Why not just twist to HIGH MEDIUM LOW with the tailcap button for On and Off?
Look, Fenix, I like what you’re doing… But this PD36 is just complicated. The Output is awesome. The Longevity is awesome. The form factor, size, weight, is just awesome. This is a GREAT LIGHT. But the intended use is for the same people who consider that a Thumb Safety is Too Fecking Complicated and that a DA/SA Trigger is something that trips them up. A Flashlight – especially one where the user is in a high-stress situation – isn’t something that should be thought about when there are other highly kinetic things to worry about.
Oh, but that’s why there’s the Tactical Mode…
Dude, STFU. Fix that Tail Cap Switch, trim down the modes. Or make it like a Dimmer Switch where you twist for the brightness from Eco to Turbo and then activates with a pressure switch that only gives you temp on and hard on.
This is why Surefire pretty much owns the tactical market. They know their customers. Fenix, you need to do some research. You’re building some good stuff. This one, it’s good… But it could be better.
Overall, yes, it’s a Buy. It’s a solid Buy. It’s absolutely worth buying.
For more details on this and other Fenix Lights, hit them up directly:

https://www.fenix-store.com/fenix-pd36-tac-flashlight

Motorcycles

Harley Davidson Pan America

3 Comments

So Harley Davidson finally put out the Pan America, their first true ADV bike. And I was sent out to California’s Mojave Desert, to a location called “ZAKAR”, Rawhyde Adventure’s training compound.
There, I was introduced to the awesomeness that was Rawhyde Adventures, and to the Pan America.

I had very expectations for this bike and I had joked that if it didn’t live up to them, I’d have to go work for Yamaha. But I’m pleased to report that all expectations were either met or exceeded.

The Pan Am, AKA “Dirt Glide” is a radical departure for The Motor Company. They decided some time ago to delve into the realm of Adventure Touring to take some slices off the pie owned by the BMW GS series, Triumph’s Tiger, Ducati’s Multistrada, and some other worthy models out there. ADV bikes have become the fastest growing segment of motorcycling, with brands putting out more different models all the time. This is for a good reason. ADV Bikes are the ultimate type of motorcycling, fullfilling the promise of motorcycles… Freedom. An ADV bike has no limits. They can go anywhere, and do anything… and generally speaking, they do it very well. They are a Multirole Fighter like an F-18 Super Hornet on two wheels.

Harley’s new ADV bike is truly a home run. The bike weighs about the same as a Sportster 48, yet packs 150 Horses and 125nm of Torgue. And you’ll never have to deal with Valve Adjustments ever again. This is the best engine HDMC has ever produced. It’s so good, a lot of folks out there are just shocked. It’s not the Potato Potato Potato V-twin HD Naysayers like to hack on. This engine is a Rev-Happy Beast. But like a Triumph Tiger 1200, it’s smooth and well-mannered. Exactly what you want for a competent ADV machine.

Some Video: Sorry the embedding isn’t working:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkTTihoqztY

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Gear

Review: Fenix HM65R

2 Comments

I’ve found Head Lights to be incredibly useful when out camping or working at night outdoors. Or even just under the hood. It beats trying to hold a flashlight in your teeth and untrained assistants always seem to fail at keeping the light where you need it.

One of my favorite types of flashlights, are the tiny little LED clip lights that you can clip to the bill of your Ballcap.

These little lights are pretty handy. But they have a couple problems. First, is that they put out very little light. Second, is that the cost of the battery is about the same as just buying a new one… So I tend to go through these like a can of Pringles. I often buy them several at a time for that reason. The last bit – is that you pretty much have to be wearing a baseball cap for these to really be useful.

This is where the Fenix HM65R really shines. Because it resolves all the little light’s shortcomings. Number one, being the Shine. This thing is… well, the Technical Term is “hella bright”. Compared to any other headlight I’ve ever used – and I’ve used my share… this thing is the brightest. It puts out an impressive 1400 lumens of clear bright light. And Max Output is actually too bright for a lot of things I use headlamps for… Luckily, Fenix gives you control over that.

The two LED Lamps are controlled individually, and both or either can be used together or not… all depending on how much light you wish to project. Each lamp has a different spread of light settings that you can toggle by tapping the lamp’s respective activation button. Press and hold to turn on and off, tap to cycle through the light modes. There are no goofy strobe modes, thankfully. I’ve never been out in the woods and thought, “You know what this situation needs? A flashlight Rave.”

The smaller lamp has the lowest mode at 8 lumens. Which is still brighter and clearer than the little clip light. And in that mode, the battery life is a crazy 300 hours. Medium, the light puts out 130 lumens for 50 hours. High is 400 lumens for 21 hours.

The larger lamp has four modes. Low, Medium, High, and Turbo.
50 lumens for 97 hours, 130 lumens for 42 hours, 400 lumens for 22 hours, and 1000 lumens for 4 hours.

Using both lamps together will give you that 1400 lumen output for about two and a half to three hours. But really that’s brighter than a Street Light and everyone around you is shielding their eyes and cursing you, so you might not want to do that very much anyways.

I’m not showing any night shots of the light output due to current camera issues. Will update this later if that gets resolved soon.

One very nice feature it has is that it’s rechargeable via a common USB-C connector. Also, in the photo above, you can see that the angle of the light is adjustable. This is great because just solid straightforward isn’t really ideal in most situations, and that’s been a complaint of mine of some other headlights I’ve used in the past.

From what I can tell, recharging is done in a couple of hours using the same charger I use for my Tablet. Using a Rapid Charger might cut that time down… but I find that isn’t really all that important in this application. What is though, is a common jump pack can recharge my phone, tablet, and this light, all with a common USB type C connection. That’s awesome. I don’t like proprietary. Also, the battery pack can be removed and replaced as needed. So if you don’t have time to recharge during a Cave Expedition, you can carry spares with you. (Two is One, One is None)

Overall, the HM65R is a solid piece of kit. The materials are of good quality, and it’s built for rugged situations. Even the straps. The adjustable straps are comfortable enough without a hat on. and it can be used with a hat too of course, as shown.

It’s just under 3.5 inches at the widest, and it’s about 4 ounces in weight (est), and it’s waterproof to 2 meters. So you can wear it in the rain with no problem, but it’s not for SCUBA use. Which is fine. I don’t go underwater anymore… because I know what’s down there… * thousand-yard stare* I’ve seen things. *shudder*

If there is any downside to this light, it is that it is a little bulkier than some, and a little heavier… But that’s really only a concern for hikers and mountain bikers and other such weirdos that don’t have a vehicle. Because if you’re concerned about weight – you obviously don’t have enough ammunition with you, so what’s your point being out at all? Hippies… I swear.

Overall, I really dig this light and will continue to use it for a good long time.

For more information about this light and other lights from Fenix:

https://www.fenix-store.com/fenix-hm65r-rechargeable-headlamp-1400-lumens/

Weapons

this happened

17 Comments

I’d write or even video a proper review of it, but to do that I’d have to shoot it. And ammo is a hundred freaking bucks a box right now. So… I’ll wait until I get some that’s reasonable. I only have 50 rounds for it at the moment. *sigh*

The is a Peacemaker chambered in .45 Colt, from the movie 3:10 to Yuma. It’s made by Cimarron. And it’s the smoothest SAA Clone I’ve ever seen right out of the box. Bonus: Due to the Cimarron’s use a clever rebounding firing pin… it’s safe to carry with all six, like the Ruger Vaquero and Beretta Stampede.

Weapons

I’m a 1911 guy, but…

9 Comments

You guys know I’m not in the Gun Business anymore – Not in any way. But once in a while, I do talk guns. Mostly folks who know very little about them, who want to run their mouths about how great their Taurus is and then ask me what I think. I have to put in effort to not roll my eyes… Smile, and say they’re a great value for the money. And then I exit stage right as quickly as possible. But sometimes, I actually have a great conversation about guns. These are rare these days, and I enjoy them. But I’ve seen a trend with Gun Guys… This is something that kinda makes my eye twitch just a little… “I’m a 1911 Guy, but…”

So, saying you’re a 1911 Guy is supposed to give you some sort of Authenticity. A Ballistically Moral High Ground. Or some sort of Trendy Gun Hipster Status. Maybe it’d to establish some sort of Fudd ground… Like saying “I’m a 1911 Guy” makes you a True Gun Guy.

And then they say “But”. When you say “But”, that pretty much means that what you said just before, is total bullshit. “I’m a 1911 Guy, But…” tells me that no, you’re not a 1911 Guy. Usually, the sentence finishes up with them saying they carry a Glock or an M&P or something other than a 1911. Look, it’s simple… If you don’t carry a 1911, then you are not a 1911 Guy.

“But wait”, you say… You are going to tell me that you shoot your 1911 at the range the most often. That you’re a competitive shooter and you use a 1911 in your matches. Really? So you do all this training and exercising of your skills with a 1911… But when it comes to what you stake your life on, you do so with something else? What you just explained to me is that you don’t actually shoot with your Carry Gun, you just carry it. For emergency use. Dude… WHY do you even carry a gun? Just to have? So that life-saving device that you carry with you isn’t the one you train with the most? It’s not the one you challenge yourself with? Of all the guns you train with… the one you should be using is the one you are packing to bet your life with – and the lives of your loved ones. That’s the one you need to be working out with. So no, you’re not a 1911 Guy. You’re a Poser.

NOTE: The only guys that get a pass on this, are you guys out there at carry a gun for a living that’s either Department Issued, or Department Mandated… I know most Departments don’t even allow 1911’s anymore – and that’s sad, but not your fault. You get that pass, because it wasn’t your choice. I’m talking about the guys that have a choice.

I’m a 1911 Guy and a SIG P22X Guy. Any SIG Pistol that starts with “22” is awesome in my book and I love them. 220, 224, 226, 227, 228, 229… and I do quite often carry an M11A1, which is essentially just a 228 with factory night sights. I’ll carry that piece on special occasions, now and then. And I’ve shot the hell out of them for hundreds of thousands of rounds, and I’m very familiar with their handling characteristics.

Back to the 1911 again. The gun I carry most of the time, almost daily, is a 1911. Because while I love the SIG 22X platform with that smooth DA/SA trigger and rebounding hammer… There’s something very special to me about the 1911. No other pistol allows me to make such accurate first-round hits. And no other hit in a firefight is so important as the first round. Most of the time, that first round is also the last round. I love that the 1911 points so naturally, it’s a thought and not an action… I don’t do it – I just think it and it’s done. Sorcery. That’s a 1911 for me. And that’s why it’s my preference for the majority of my Pistol Packing Policy.

Out of all of the myriad of 1911 types and configurations out there… All of them being excellent, of course… my very favorite is the classic Light Weight Commander. In .45 Auto. This formula fits me to a T. I could actually quite easily just forego all other pistols and carry nothing but an LWC-1911-45. If I knew I was walking into a situation where I was going to have to draw and shoot, and that my life was on the line… I’d want no other gun on me.

(If I knew it was going to be an actual firefight and concealment wasn’t a requirement – SHOTGUN – but that’s another article)

Gear

PRIVATEER LEATHER

5 Comments

I’ve only been to Area 51 with one fellow. Wes Dahl. Wes runs and is Privateer Leather. I’ve got some items from him in the past, leather notebooks. Which I use all the time for a very special purpose. D&D. But Privateer Leather is mainly a Holster making shop… Yet I’ve never had one of his holsters.

I decided to go back to a Pancake style rig, as I find them ultimately the most comfortable and reliable. And I needed that style for my Ruger 1911 Light Weight Commander.

Wes’s craftmanship is OUTSTANDING and on par with the highest quality leatherwork out there. As such, it’s in demand, and there’s a wait. This is a custom made holster, and not a mass-produced product out of a factory. But it’s worth the wait.

After the Break In, my 1911 pretty much snaps in and out like it was fitted Kydex. It holds the gun securely, yet doesn’t hinder a draw.

Wes tossed in some extras, a leather disk which is, I guess, a Coaster. And a small leather disk that I could put on a Key Chain. The Sealed Envelope is a classy personal touch to the Break In instructions.
Hell, even the box it comes in has a personal touch. That’s some awesome flair.

Weapons

Armchair QB MARLIN

19 Comments

Once Again, I am delving into the Dankness that is the Office of the CEO… This time, in the new office of MARLIN FIREARMS as now owned by RUGER.   The big question is what is to be done with Marlin now? 
The short answer, and the first answer… Is to keep doing what is being done.  And that includes  Existing manufacturing processes.  Quality Control Must Not and Can Not Slip.  Period.  The last time Marlin was acquired – it was a disaster.  That can not happen again.  Better to ship Late than to Ship Shoddy.
Now, Ruger acquiring Marlin offers Marlin some good opportunities. Such as rapid prototyping of new products and manufacturing of new lines for future products.  While keeping the traditions of Marlin’s history and style in current product lines.   This gives Ruger the opportunity to keep all of the Modern Cowboy Action under one roof.  Because Ruger has made lever actions in the past – and few if any remember them fondly.  This is going to take some of the Cowboy Steam away from Cimmaron and back to US Made. 
Doubling Down on the Cowboy Action genre is going to be important not just because of historic political reaction trends… But because the Western Genre is always cool and popularity surges happen. 
So let’s talk about the Western Expansion plan.  The CB line needs to be expanded first and foremost.  

The CB line offers the handsome straight stock configuration and a long octagonal barrel to give the rifle that distinctly old west and mesquite smoke flavor to the .45-70. But this is something that needs to be spread out across the line. I’d like to see a 39CB… A CB version of the 39A – which is pretty much the finest .22LR lever action rifle in the history of mankind.

The next CB’s that needs to happen is a longer barrel version of the 1894CB series. Currently limited to 20″. Which is a length that makes ballistic sense… But it just doesn’t have the look or feel. It’s also only available in .357 Magnum. Which is great. But I want to see it in .44 Magnum as well. And while we’re at it… Where is the option for .45 Colt? A gun that can handle .45 Colt loads, as well as .454 Casull. Because right now, anyone wanting a .454 Leve Action is going to have to go either Brazilian or Italian. And that just isn’t right.

While we’re at it… Let’s talk about the hottest thing happening in Lever Actions right now… Midwest Industries forends. Like them or not – they are popular like Sports Cars with Automatic Transmissions. Why, Marlin, are making customers go to the Aftermarket to supply what they want? That needs to be fixed. Why can we not buy this out of the box, directly from the manufacturer? Through an FFL of course. The Tactical Lever Action is here. And for that – You Are Welcome, Sirs. I was one of the few pushing this before anyone else was thinking about it. Two guys pushed it actually… Myself, and Gabe Suarez. And now the concept has taken root. Proving the Inception Principle… the most dangerous thing is an idea.

Let’s get into maybe what Magpul could contribute… A version of their shotgun stock not only looks good – but allows for some adjustability in length of pull to make sure the rifle fits the owner. And thanks to a suggestion, what a different forend might look like. Combined with a Big Loop… This is going in a good direction. Hmm… I don’t like the position of the Red Dot. Let’s move it forward.

There we go. That’s better.

There are two Lever Action Users out there. The Traditionalists, and the Modernists. The Traditionalists are the Cowboy guys and the Collector guys. They need to be satisfied. And a Cowboy Action Shooter guy is going to want his lever action in .45 Colt. Why not offer something for them? And that brings me to another product line… A Marlin 1892. That Winchester 92 pattern rifle is the most elegant designed lever action ever produced. Overseas reproductions corner the market. Here’s where Ruger’s manufacturing can come into play. With some design changes to incorporate greater safety, and enhanced accuracy.

The Marlin Product Line as a whole needs to be streamlined. Because it’s rather confusing to the Casual Observer. I’d kill off the .444 as it’s own line and just include that caliber into the 1895 Line. I would also add the .460 and .500 Magnum chamberings into the line somewhere. These would be great in a Trapper type carbine or a Co-Pilot.

I’d ax the Bolt actions the 795’s and the XT series completely. A big question surrounds the Model 60. Should it stay, or should it go? Personally, I’d hate to see it go. They always sold well, and many of us have fond memories of them and we probably still have one or two in the collections at home. So the options are, leave the line as it is… Expand the line to match the planned spread like the rest of the brand… Or we kill the line completely. Killing the Model 60 would be wrong. So we’re going to have to expand it.

So what are your thought and what would you do? And don’t say bring back the Levermatic. For the Love Of All That Is Holy…

Gear, Weapons

Gerber vs CRKT

6 Comments

For a decent budget knife, CRKT and Gerber are both competing for Sub-80 Dollar knife budget. Both have some interesting knives, and both are knife companies I used to hate. But when you kinda start to groove on these new mini-cleaver type folders, these companies are a great choice. But which one is better?

Let’s look at their two very popular options. CRKT’s PILAR in size Large. The Large PILAR isn’t much bigger than standard PILAR, but it’s enough to make all the difference in everyday use. I am quite fond of it, and it makes small cutting tasks kinda fun. It’s a delightful knife.

The Gerber Flatiron is just cool. The blade shape, the handle shape… It’s a great knife to hold on too… and if your cutting jobs are mundane, this is a cool way of taking care of that work. You just like HOLDING it.

Both knives are of the same construction type… An asymmetrical frame lock on one side and composite scale on the other. Both sport a pocket clip. But that’s where the similarities come to a screeching halt. Because, let’s be frank here… The Gerber’s pocket clip blows. And as of yet, know one has stepped up to make a replacement that might work better. It carries just fine, but getting it to clip over your pocket is a real PITA, and I’m not talking about the bread. It almost ruins the knife.

Overall, the CRKT is the easier knife to carry, open, close and put back into the pocket. It fulfills the function of a folder better. And I think the build quality is a bit better too. The blade steel is D2, which is an advantage. Though, the Flatiron is available in D2 as well. But D2 out of China is pretty much just meaning its made out of some sort of actual steel and not just melted tin cans.

Once both knives are open though, the edge (sorry) goes to the Gerber with it’s longer cutting edge and straight razor geometry. It cuts better and can take a finer edge than the PILAR. And that sounds like it makes the Flatiron a clear winner… But the problem is that it’s stiff to open, even after a redesign has improved it. It’s stiff to close, even after a redesign to improve that as well. And again, the Clip is the worst thing in the world. It’s so bad, that I’d rather take it off completely and just carry it in a sheath… which doesn’t exist.

So which one wins? The CRKT wins. Overall it’s the better pocket knife – which is what these are. And it’s fun to use. Whereas the Flatiron just because a pain in the ass.

Weapons

Accessorizing your gun

8 Comments

If you are going to set up a Rifle with accessories… You really need to take in the purpose of what the rifle is for. What the Mission and Objectives are. We see failures of this in AR-15’s all the time. So much so that it seems like people just like hanging toys off their rifle, because such owners at the Range and in the Classes tend to spend more time fiddling with the accessories rather than concentrating on the task at hand, which is engaging and destroying the target. The mission of a tactical firearm is the application of fine-focused violence.

The question is where, when, and at what range that violence needs to be administered. When you apply these such failures of reason to a noble arm such as a Marlin Lever Action, you compound the Sin and you should probably either fall on your sword, or fix your Kit. Let’s look at this rifle below… As it sits, this gun is Clown Shoes.
The Strengths of a Lever Action is the svelt profile, lightweight, and exceptional handling while delivering reliable and hard-hitting, sledgehammers to the target. But that’s not what we have here.


Taking a Lever Action and turning it into a modern Cowboy Tactical gun is fine… I’m not mad at that. I’ve done it myself and have promoted the practice over a decade ago. The areas we need to look at are the Optics and the Objects hanging off the forend.
Ignoring the fact that the Scope Mount is backward… This is a completely wrong scope mount to start with. It’s far too high for the gun. The natural line of sight on a Lever Gun is very low over the action and barrel. You know this if you are paying attention because that’s where the iron sights are. Not up high. The Scope is also set far too back. If this scope is actually set for your eye relief, then you are mounting the rifle incorrectly and you probably need to take a class. Then there is the question of if this is the right optic for the mission. If the mission is precision marksmanship, then the scope is probably incorrect, and the vertical foregrip is an interference.
If the mission is CQB work, then the scope is also incorrect, and the Bi-Pod is only adding hindering incumbrance and opportunities to snag on things and otherwise screw things up.
So, to fix this… You need a different optic, or at least move the scope foreward enough for good eye relief and to avoid the scope cutting your eyebrow. Google Weatherby Eyebrow.

Here we see a scope mounted properly. Low enough that you don’t need a cheek riser, and forward enough for good eye relief. Also note – the occular bell of the scope is not interfering with the hammer.
Here’s another good example of a tactically minded lever action. The Extended Eye Relief scope, or EER, is mounted well forward which gives you good clearance, doesn’t upset the balance of the gun, and it allows for fast target acquisition. And you can see, it’s nice and low. This is perhaps the most ideal set up for a magnifying scope on a lever action.

Then you need to decide if you should ditch the VFG or the bi-pod.
Considering that this rifle is a short to intermediate-range brush gun, I’d suggest tossing the bi-pod. I’d also suggest ditching the VFG because Hand Stops or an AFG would work better. For a short-range gun, I’d suggest an optical gunsight that maximizes your field of view. That means something none-magnified. But if you have failing eyes and you need some degree of Zoom, an EER optic would be much better suited to a Lever Gun.

In the case of non-magnifying optical gunsights. You can run any sort of Red Dot you like… The only requirement being that you mount it low. Something in a form like an ACOG will not do as that is designed to go on a flat topped AR and put the line of sight up where a regular AR iron sight is. This is too high for a Lever Action. Also, I’d suggest avoiding any bulky Red Dot sights. Go with something compact. Go with something that offers a wide field of view. These can be mounted further back on the receiver, and you’ll end up with a very nicely balanced weapon.

If you have to put anything out in front of the action. Bi-Pods and VFG’s are just not helping you. They are taking away from the advantages the lever-action platform gives you. Which is exceptional handling. If you need grips and pods and such… Honestly, you probably need a different rifle. At most, a lightweight and low profile tactical light. I’ve seen some accessory items that will allow you to carry one or two spare rounds on the fore end. Okay, that’s cool. Kinda dumb, but it’s cool though. Because you can’t reload a Lever Action Rifle like it’s a Tactical Shotgun with a fast move and slip that shell into the breach like John Wick. That’s not happening. But a spare round handy is fine if you like it.

The absolute best Lever Action set up though… Is completely naked with a sling.

Uncategorized

I was called arrogant.

18 Comments

The other day, I was called arrogant, stuck up, and such. That I act like I’m too good to join in certain conversations and to be friends with people. This is far from true… In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

You see, I have some pretty harsh self-esteem issues. I struggle with this daily. It’s one of the reasons I’ve pretty much stopped blogging almost completely… Why I only occasionally record videos. Why I don’t really take part.

Internally, I feel like I have nothing to contribute. And if I do, my words hold no value anyways. You haters out there – and I know I have more than my share – could not possibly come close to the scathing rebukes I give myself. The self-loathing and criticism is epic.

Let me be perfectly honest here… For the last decade, longer actually… I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts. Not occasionally… But daily. Constantly. There have been a few times when I’ve actually planned on doing just that. Find a nice place to park, put on some Pink Floyd and just end it. You see, that’s been my inner dialog. But I decided that no matter what – I’m not going to do that. Though, inside I have to admit that I actually want to.

I feel like before I can let myself find peace… I have some work to do yet. I’m not afraid of dying… I’ve had a “near-death experience” before and I was disappointed in “coming back”. I wanted to stay there. I look forward to returning there. But not yet.

Arrogant… I wish. I’d like to know what that feels like. Maybe I was, back when I was in my 20’s. But now that I’ve hit 50, I pretty much have forgotten what that could even mean. If you hear me talking about myself – I’m not trying to impress you. I’m trying to tell myself that maybe I have some self-value here, and that I’m good enough to be apart of whatever the situation is. Maybe. Because really all that ever really does for me is make me feel worse.

Let me be clear – I am not asking for help or reaching out. I’m only seeking a cathartic release in this confession. This is not a cry for help and you do not need to take this as a call to action and I don’t need anyone to reach out. This has been well over a decade, and I’m still here. Like it or not.

The Internet's Original Critic