If you name your baby boy “Sebastian”, you are a horrible parent. That is just not a good name for any Boy unless you expect him to grow up working as Decorator or Wedding Planner.

10 thoughts on “Sebastians”

  1. *sigh* My brother wants to name his (hypothetical at this point) son Sebastian. Or Tiberius. Or Edgar. Or, worse still, Thaddeus. *shudders*

    I’m gonna be buying that kid Jujitsu lessons for his birthday every single year ’til he turns 18. He’s gonna need them.

  2. Ha Ha! Too funny. My wife and I wanted to keep the names of our children secret until they were born. When anybody asked what we had picked out for boy names I would always respond with “Sebastian.” People would always pause for a few seconds before saying they loved the name. You could tell they were lying through their teeth. It never failed to entertain me for a few minutes.

  3. Given the cruel nature of the small feral child I predict naming a boy Sebastian will generate a series of nick names playing on that name particularly the “ass” sound in it. He will either be in constant trouble for getting into fights or he will get whipped down to a status lower than that of a Beta male in the cliques and packs that form in schools. He would stand a good chance of ending up as some bully’s “bitch.”
    “He was such a nice quiet boy. I can’t understand what drove him to set his parents on fire.”

  4. I dunno, there might be a bit of a “Boy Named Sue” thing about it. The only guy I’ve known named Sebastian was one badass MF. He might’ve gotten picked on during elementary school but I doubt anyone who’s done it since has lived to tell the tale. Kids will pick on each other for anything, there’s something to be said for giving them an obviously stupid target rather than something that’s actually hurtful.

  5. As an impressionable youth I recall Sebastian Tombs, aka Simon Templar.
    Who wasted a lot of ammo money on pulps.

  6. I dunno, Sebastian Sassi and Sebastian Rutten are both pretty rad dudes. You might be more familiar with Rutten as “Bas” Rutten.

  7. What Donnie said. “Bas,” pronounced bahz, is a Euro nickname for Sebastian that actually sounds kinda rugged.

    As a responsible older relative, “Bas” may be the most compassionate way to handle it if your nephew or little cousin is saddled with that name.

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