Tag Archives: Gout

My left hand

You know what sucks?  Gout.  Gout sucks.  I’ve been dealing with it for years and years in my legs.  But a week ago, it hit me in my left hand.  I woke up to a hand that was swollen and felt like it was crushed with a sledge hammer.
I can not articulate just how much it hurt.  This was truly the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.  I’ve had gunshots, stabs, and broken bones that did not hurt nearly this bad.
Here I am a week later, and with proper meds, the hand is no longer swollen.  Well, it’s almost back to normal.  But the movement in the index finger has not fully returned.  I have some movement, but it’s still very restricted.  Typing is is a 9 fingered affair right now.  The pain is mostly gone too… Unless I move my finger or bump it or look at it wrong.  The main joint in the hand that works that index finger, it’s still a bit swollen and painful… it feels like there is some serious damage in there.

Anyone giving me Gout Advice – I’ll bitchslap you next time I see you.  Just sayin.

So why am I bringing this up?

Manipulating guns one handed has taught me a lot.  Even just “Strong Hand Only”.  Sounds easy… It’s not.  Not without some practice.  Not without some serious practice.  Handguns.  AR-15’s.  Lever Actions.  Surprisingly, what I had the most problems with… my 870’s.  I need more practice with this.
Say you catch a bullet in your hand.  Or some other injury that renders your off hand useless… a burn or something.  If you don’t know what to do before… hand… sorry… You are going to be stumbling.  You need to know what to do before it happens.
So this weekend, your Training Assignment.   All weekend long.  One Hand Manipulations Handling.  If you have to, tape all your fingers together to remind you.  No cheating.  For me, cheating felt like someone hit my hand with a baseball bat.  Easy for me to remember not to cheat.  For you guys – Honor Code.
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Ride to work… Get a Ride home.

I hate it when my Wife is Right.  Grrr…

This morning, she said, “You shouldn’t ride, I’ll give you a lift in.”

Oh no… I’m big tough biker… I can ride!!!  *Beats Chest*

Let me back up and give you some background here.  Saturday night my right knee really starting hurting.  Sunday morning, I woke up to a knee that would not bend. Pain.  Lots of pain.  Gout attack in the knee.  So I was on the couch or in bed all day.  Same story with Monday.  Same with Tuesday… but Tuesday night it was getting better.  Today, Wednesday morning I felt pretty good again.  “I can ride!” I said, and watched he drive into town in the Explorer as I put on my helmet.  Got a leg over the ZX-11, backed it up no problem.   Rolled forward… Oh Crap.  I can’t get my foot on the peg.  So I rode all the way into town with my right foot off the peg.  That’s not easy, but I couldn’t get it on the peg.  My knee wouldn’t bend.

I pull into work… Wife pulls in after me.  Having seen my foot hanging of course.  She did not say “Told you so.”  She knew she didn’t have to.   I hate it when she’s right.

After work…. my knee was killing me.  My left knee even started hurting.  So I limped the bike over to my Sister In Law’s, and parked it.  Called her up and she came and got me.

When we got home I looked at her and said “I can ride the KTM to work tomorrow… I can stand up on the pegs.”  Oh man… she was pissed!

BTW – I don’t need any Gout advice.  My hell every time I say Gout I get every form of home remedy suggestion and that’s about as annoying as my wife being right.  So… stuff that jazz.  I’m going to see the Bonesaw tomorrow.  Maybe get some Cortisone injections.

Oh, if anyone has a Can Am Spyder they are willing to trade for a ZX-11… Yeah, I’ll trade you right now.  Next week?  I don’t know, but right now I’d trade you.

Dudes, I seriously would not wish Gout pain on anyone… not even those few people still alive that I call my enemies.  Gout pain is insidious.  It’s basically God saying “I don’t like you.”  It hurts on a level that you just don’t understand unless you’ve had it.  No, I’m serious.  I’ve been shot.  Stabbed.  I’ve broken many bones.  I’d opt for another Gun Shot Wound over Gout Pain.   Because with Gout – there is nothing you can do about it.  There is no Position of Comfort, especially in the Knee.  In a Toe or Ankle, Gout is Hideous shit.  In the knee…. No… That’s God punishing you for something.  That’s a taste of Torment from Hell.  OTC Pain Meds… They don’t work unless you Combo them Up.  And when you do that, you have to be careful.

Pain? You don’t know pain, until you know Gout Pain.

“It’s kind of like Gout.”
Dude… You have never had a Gout attack… you have no idea what Gout is like. So don’t even think you know. Having a Gout attack is like joining an exclusive club. “Those who know”. Let me tell you something… you don’t want to be a Member. Ever. I’ve had crushed bones. I’ve shattered my ankles. I’ve torn out my knees. I’ve dislocated and torn my shoulder. I’ve been shot. I’ve been stabbed. I’ve been bitten by snake, dog, human, and cat. I’ve been sucker punched. Tasered. I’ve been hit with a beer bottle. I’ve been kicked in the junk. None of that pain… none of it… comes close to what Gout is like. If someone said, “okay Ogre, you can have a Gout attack or you can take a bullet from a .357 Magnum.” Seriously, I’d take the bullet. No, I’m not kidding and I’m not exaggerating.

Continue reading Pain? You don’t know pain, until you know Gout Pain.