Left Lane Campers

Dear Carolina Drivers, I love you guys.  You guys are some of the best drivers in the Nation.  No, seriously… you really are!  You guys are polite and friendly… you guys let people merge and there are few times when horns get used.   You guys are great.
Save for one thing.   Some of you guys are chronic Left Lane Campers.  You guys are awesome until you get on the Freeway where you move all the way to the left and just camp there.  You guys are going to just set that cruise control to the speed limit, and just ignore the whole freaking world around you.   Or worse yet, you decide to set your pace to the freaking truck right next to you!   Either way, you are in violation of a simple principle…
Let me make it easy for you.

If there is no one in front of you, and people behind you… You Need to Move Right.

If there are people Passing you on the Right, you need to move to the Right.    Let’s give you an example… Look at this picture:


Now… We see 3 vehicles.  A Blue Van, a Silver Car and a Blue Car.
The Blue Van is a LEFT LANE CAMPER.  He needs to move his slow ass over to a lane on the Right.  GTFO of the Fast Lane!
The Silver Car is needing to back off a bit.  But he’s trying to communicate to the Left Lane Camper… But you can’t.  Left Lane Campers are too busy text messaging to pay attention to actually driving.
The Blue Car, if he’s over taking the other two, is probably contemplating moving to the right and passing on the right.  When he does so, the Silver Car is going to be fed up with the Blue Van’s bullshit and he’s going to move to the right as well, but without looking because he now has anger issues.  As as result, the people in both cars are going to explode and die… all because of the Flaccid Left Lane Camping Sphincter driving the Blue Van.

Don’t be a Flaccid Left Lane Camping Sphincter.  Don’t make people explode and die… Move to the Right.

Random Image Drop:

Screen Shot 2016-06-19 at 3.28.44 PM

14 thoughts on “Left Lane Campers”

  1. It’s not just Carolina. In Texas we have these morons too. Though, you hit a metro area like Dallas, and you begin to understand it. There are so many left entrances and exits on the freeways here that it may just be someone not comfortable (or capable) of going faster and they either plan on exiting or got stuck there when they came on the freeway.

  2. “Flaccid Left Lane Camping Sphincter”

    That is far and away too good not to steal.


  3. Neither of the Carolinas have strong passing lane laws. Only some highways have posted “slower traffic keep right” signs.

    Perhaps a keep-right-unless-passing law is in order?

  4. More laws are never “in order”. Perhaps a gentle reminder from the local constabulary that safe driving dictates slower traffic should move to the right would be sufficient. Maybe a PSA that comments on the innate politeness of the people of North Carolina and reminding them that it also includes highway manners. More laws? Ack.

    1. After being stationed at Shaw for three years, I have to disagree. SC drivers are so bad, left lane squatting is one of their more redeeming qualities.

    2. Until you have attained Libertopia, and have completely privatized highways, you still need traffic laws.

      We have a keep right unless passing law in Wyoming. We don’t have little old ladies of either gender parking in the left lanes here.

  5. lived most of my life in Florida. Used to say that when I retire, I was moving to Michigan to drive slow in the fast lane.
    I moved but not to Michigan, thank goodness.

  6. Given the pic of cars with EU plates, they’re technically in the slow lane…


    (just spent two weeks driving around the UK, only reason I noticed)

    1. Heath, technically you’re both wrong and right! Only the Brits drive on the left, so chances are EU plates still means that it’s a pic of slowpokes in the left lane BUT EU plates also have the blue part on the left. So George or someone else has flipped this to make it look like the slow drivers are in the left lane rather than the right…

      A quick google image search shows that this was originally from an article about the dangers of tailgaiting. Kinda ironic to edit it and then use it to illustrate a screed on poor passing behavior.

      1. Wasn’t aware of that, only drove in the UK and Irish Republic.

        So, continental drivers drive on the correct side of the road but still have the drivers seat and wheel on the wrong side?


        1. Continental Europe is actually a weird mishmash. Most new cars are sold left-hand-drive, but some countries (like Sweden) only switched within the last 50 years so you can still find old cars set up the other way. Plus there’s plenty of cross-channel traffic, both in tourists and used vehicles, so you really never know what you’ll find.

          There’s actually some fascinating history behind it, at least if you’re a nerd like me. Most of the EU basis dates back to a proclamation by Napoleon that his army should always stay to the right, regardless of what country they were in. As he conquered things that quickly became the standard. Probably explains why the Brits hold out and perhaps also where our right-hand tendencies come from…

      2. Because I don’t drive with my phone in my hand… I don’t have any photos. Google Image Search turned up that image…
        And I flipped it around to meet my needs.
        Welcome to 2016… You can’t trust any image.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *