10 Reasons why I hate Dr. Who.


I hate Dr. Who.  I tried watching it, being as open minded as possible… but I’ve come to the conclusion that I really and truly just hate Dr. Who.  The whole Whovian Universe.

1.  The Daleks.  They couldn’t come up with a more interesting design than semi conical domed top thing with a toilet plunger on the end.  Just looking at them angers me.  These things are supposed to be some sort of a World Threatening menace?  If these things can threaten your world – you deserve to have them… whatever they do… plunger fuck your skull until you bleed to death.

2.  Cybermen.  Alien technology that hinges on plumbing from the local hardware store to make dumbass handles on their helmets.  They actually make the Daleks look more interesting.  But these things are just as bad when it comes to visibly threatening.  The Tin Man from Oz was more threatening… because he had a creepy smile… and an axe.  But that’s not the Cybermen.  They have masks of dire bordom and they want you to be like them.  How is this from any trip to a Shopping Mall or Liberal Arts College?

3.  The Tardis.  The Space Ship is a freaking Phone Booth?  Everyone of you who piped up “It’s a Police Call Box!” can just shut up and drink engine coolant.  A Police Call Box is just a phone booth that only dials one number. So like it or not, it’s not even that useful of a phone booth. Who came up with this idea?  No, seriously, how did this become clever?  How did this become cool?  I walked into a book store and there was a whole table of blue phone booths for people to buy.  Are you all mentally damaged?  When it flies, it spins and wobbles as if from a single string.  Because it’s dangling from a freaking string, and they didn’t even bother to stop it.  The spinning just became part of the mysterious way it flies through space – not by magic, but by the mysteries of science.  They didn’t even bother phoning it in with bad special effects.  They just made it so bad, that everyone just stopped caring about it.  Oh, that’s the Tardis.  The ReTardis.  The worst spaceship in any SciFi, and it’s in the worst of all SciFi’s.  Which makes that Stupid folded in on it’s self.  It’s stupidity that’s divided by zero.   But it’s bigger on the inside, some say.  Didn’t Harry Potter have Tents like that?  What is it with the Brits with so much wishing for more interior space.  Guess what, England, you can move to a less crowded place, where elbow room isn’t a Fantasy Plot Point.  Like North Dakota.

4.  The Sonic Screwdriver.  Let’s call this what it is… Dr. Who’s Magic Wand.  There’s no science to this SciFi, it’s Fantasy and Who is a wizard with a wand.  It fixes everything, in any situation, magically, with no need to a scientific reason for it doing so.  It just does.   But instead of Magic, Who wraps himself in the stupidly oversized scarf and declares it to be science, because he is smarter than everything else in the universe. Because he says so.  Because he has his magic wand.  His phallic symbol of power.  You know who else had a Magic Wand?  Voldemort.  Think about that.

5.  The acting and directing are better in a High School Play.  So are the special effects.  Every episode is like a bad SNL Skit that everyone on stage hates, but they are pushing through till the end because they are SNL.  Quite really, SNL does a better job of this because they all know they are doing comedy and it doesn’t matter.  But Whovians are rabid fans and take this shit seriously and hang on every word and wave of the Sonic vibrating Wand.

6.  Dr. Who changes bodies, but it’s the same character… just in a different body.  Another phone in effort.  Oh, the last Dr. Who Actor quit because he can’t stand making Gene Roddenberry cry anymore… so he walks off stage left, and in from stage right walks Dr. Who, who has returned again… in a new body because that’s what he does because he’s not just a fucking wizard anymore but a TIME LORD… Dun Dun DuuunnnnN!!!

I hate it so much I can’t do a full 10 reasons… I just hate it.  I only hope at some point in the series the Time Lord opens a portal to the Warhammer universe and a Blood Raven’s Terminator pops through and shreds Dr. Who with Lightning Claws.  Because that’s an episode I could watch.

86 thoughts on “10 Reasons why I hate Dr. Who.”

  1. Can we get a blood angles terminator instead? Or maybe a grey knight because obviously anything that bad has to be consorting with deamons.

  2. Don’t forget that the Doctor is a villain and a militant pacifist. He can wipe out entire species when he wants to (and feel properly guilty about it after), but if anyone takes up arms to defend themselves or loved ones, he not only demands that they stop, but then threatens to destroy them if they don’t do exactly what he says, because he’s The Doctor. More people have been killed by his bullshit psychotic idealism than by any other reason in the Whoverse. He stops people from fighting back and demands they lay down and die while he gets to run around looking clever for young ladies. Eventually he gets around to stopping the current threat of the day, but only after there’s been a sufficiently high body count.

    Screw The Doctor.

    1. And to top it off, through twelve incarnations, he’s never once gotten laid by his pretty assistant. You’d think there would be a bedroom worthy of Austin Powers (shagadelic, baby!) in that Tardis, but noooooo…..

  3. I wanna shove this in the face of all those Whovian fans who think they’re so cool because they’re watching this show that ain’t yet available (thank goodness) in our local cable programming. damn snobs.

    I totally agree with your reasons, and I’ve been giggling non stop from reading this! Those Who fans man, they’re all over my FB page… I can’t wait to see their reactions after they get a load of this.

    “I hate it so much I can’t do a full 10 reasons…” that just slays me brother. hahahahahahahaha

  4. As an avid Dr Who fan I’m surprised you didn’t lead with the best reason to hate the show, the one that makes even my stomach churn after 30+ years of watching it.
    No, not the fact that one story will frequently contradict earlier ones with what once was wrong now becoming right or vise versa, but the relentless PC crap that the producers put into the show since its relaunch. Let’s face it, the BBC has an agenda and it will use Dr Who to push it. How else can a transgendered horse be explained? Torchwood was worse for it, with the lead character cautioning his subordinates on their behavior before then going on to do exactly what he said should not be done just minutes later.
    There was some of this in the show in the late 80’s, with one story that was apparently supposed to subtly tell us all to go out and overthrow Margaret Thatcher, but it was so subtle and so few people were watching then that it is only remembered for being Dr Who vs. Berty Bassett.

  5. The Tardis is a call box? I thought it was a port-a-john……and that’s right where the show belongs, in the crapper!

  6. I can count exactly one thing I like about the show. The Weeping Angels. Like you, I’ve tried to watch the show because I’ve got some friends who enjoy it, but I just can’t. It’s bad. And it annoys me. But I do enjoy those Weeping Angel creatures.

    1. I agree fully! I started watching the first season with Matt Smith, because I have friends who like it. The season was tolerable at best, and the only thing I liked was the Weeping Angels and Amy. I tune in to the Christmas special, skipping a few seasons (my friend told me it’d be ok) , and they have killed off Amy and there are like no Weeping Angels but a bunch of ridiculously stupid alien beings. I had to turn it off a 1/2 hour through. It was sad and upsetting. Doctor Who sucks.

  7. It is science fiction. Lighten up.

    It is no more fantastical than a series of stories about a small town Utah guy that becomes President, and becomes the savior of the world, following a zombie apocalypse complete with demons and possessed zombies, and supernatural extravaganza.

    Just sayin.

    1. Yes, its science fiction.

      But its BAD science fiction, really, really bad science fiction. And I use the term “science” rather loosely as what passes for science even within the whoverse doesn’t agree with itself and it totally random and inconsistent.
      It has one of the worst cases of “Only the Author Can Save Them Now” that I’ve ever seen!

      Dr. Who is to science fiction what Twilight is to Vampire stories.

  8. HAHAHAHA! This was great man! Thanks for this – I have some Who Fans in my life and I can’t for the life of me figure out why they are so obsessed. I tried watching and wasn’t even able to finish one episode. I think it must be some kind of hipster fad to be a fan of Doctor Who.

  9. I also have watched two episodes and cant figure out why people like it. Its the crapiest show in te universe, even obama can make a better show then the brits there are only 3 british shows i like 2 of them were cancled, i like doc martin, death in paradise (cancled), and ballykissangel (also cancled).

  10. you clearly have nether seen the show, because you judge the daleks, cybermen and the tardis based on appearances, which are actually quite good for all of them, for the thing about the sonic screw driver, regeneration and the tardis being bigger on the inside shows that you struggle with a lack of imagination, and the directing is quite good, tv is not all about the special effects

    1. Imagination is branching away from an idea, not sticking to the same stale pseudo-iconic idea for nearly half a century. These fuckwits who consider this show to be a gem merely do so; as far as I can tell, because of the sense of superiority the Imperialist mentality gives that flows from this culture. I agree on the note of him visiting the Warhammer universe, where someone will gladly kill themselves to destroy an enemy. This show is for doughy little shits desperate for an exclusive happily ever after in their entertainment. A follower of Khorne would laugh in his face at the threat of destruction, and gladly hug him with a fucking brick of C-4 strapped to their chest. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! CLAIM HIS SKULL FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

  11. George,

    It is BRITISH humor, get it? I do not either.

    But, it always helps me when I remember, “They conquered the world.”

    Then I realize how badly our world needs real godly leadership.

    Hoo-ah.

    Wayne

  12. I can’t stand all the Doctor Who nuts that I know constantly bugging me to either watch it or face their wrath. It’s nice to finally find some people who feel the same way, in a place that isn’t being swamped by Dr. Who fans hating on all non-fans.

  13. Gods finally someone who sees this piece of vile putrid excrement for what it is.
    Fuck the REtardis…fuck his sickophans who have FLOODED my goddamn facebook page with their fap material to a piss poor ’60s fiasco.
    What the HELL is this? A blast from the past?
    This is an insult to real sci-fi !!

  14. Dude, I doubt any of you saw an episode of Dr Who. The tv show has been around since 1963, way before Harry potter books. And I do know that the plot is sometimes always about the daleks, but they were time lords’ foe, so it kinda makes sense for them to appear more than thrice. And about the sonic screwdriver, it is mostly used by the doctor to sort of fix things since the doctor does not carry any weapon that may harm living creatures. Also, the doctor regenerates whenever he gets fatal injuries, he sorta cheats death by being a new person but is still the doctor.

    And regarding the fact that some in the comments say that Whovians make everything about them: THATS WHAT FANDOMS FUGGING DO! It’s like joining a club you love, you devote most of your time on it and it really does feel like the world revolves around it in THEIR world. Whovians don’t look down on non-Whovians, they’re only RECOMMENDING the show to the non-Whovians. Plus, Whovians usually will be in OTHER fandoms, such as Sherlock.

    And yes, it is weird that I’ve spent 5 minutes of my time writing this comment, but I at least I know I tried to defend it. And, instead of stating 6 reasons, why don’t you state 10, like what the headline said. Or are you out of critical complaints?

    1. I always love the response that I’ve not watched it. No, I’ve not watched the whole series… Why the hell would I if I don’t like it? I’ve watched more than enough to know that the cheesy, deficient show is not something I enjoy. If you like it – that’s fine. Enjoy. I know there are people that like Sponge Bob and Miley Cyrus too.

  15. THANK YOU. Flying Spaghetti Monster Almighty, just thank you, thank you so much for this.

    Oh, the angst. The Twilightish storylines. The companions. The skin-crawl-worthy fat girl idolatry of the latest nebbishy pasty English twat in a bowtie or other desperately random sartorial choice, and all his curdlesome “quirks”. The doomed, roaming salt-shaker Daleks. The “special effects”. The “music”.

    Everything about this show insults science fiction and is making the planet dumber one episode at a time. Give me classic Star Trek, and F this show forever. I mean FOREVER.

    Doctor Who sucks and is a children’s show, and the BBC know it, and the stars of it know it, AND THE FANS APPEAR NOT TO KNOW IT, and that is all.

  16. And anyone who doubts I ever watched the show, I was watching it when TOM BAKER was the Doctor – arguably its single best era, when Robert Holmes was writing most of the teleplays: how’s that for expertise? Can you name a single episode he wrote? Which was considered the critically best? Hint: it involves an outdoor manhunt. Can you answer? Do you even know what episode?

    Likely not, because if you became a fan of Doctor Who anytime after Colin Baker, you’re not qualified to question my hatred of the show.

    I was a Whovian before your mother had you.

    And that’s a good portion of why I hate the show.

  17. I am not going to hate on your opinion, as it is, your opinion. What I am going to do, however, is disagree with your decision to write a whole article on why you hate the show. How can you hate something so much that you make a list of why you hate it? I respect the fact that you dislike the show, but it is simply unfair on the people that do like it and have watched it all their lives to make a list on the parts you don’t like. This is pure hate.

  18. You heard it here first. Pure. Hate. BWAHAHAHA! and UNFAIR. Ohmysides! Ahahahahaha!

    Ahem.

    There is a clique of guys at church that wear bowties and have Doctor parties. Oneof my buddies is in that group and he invited me to the gathering around Christmas to watch. My response: Oh yeah let me slam my balls in a car door first. It’ll drown out the pain of sitting through that slop.

  19. I’m not ofended by what you said about the show-you hate it,that’s your opinion and not mine.
    To whoever said that the fans seem not to know this is a children’s show:I know this is a children’s show.I’m a child-I’m a fan.
    To the guywho said that you want to watch ‘classis star trek':Doctor Who has been around longer than Star Trek.And mind your language-do you even know what f*** means? I do. Just saying, you can’t f*** a show. Deal with it.
    LG:I spent my time defending the show too.You’ve got to accept that there are haters.
    And lastly,to the guy who made this list:If you’re going to hate this show- go on hating. Just next time, don’t title a list ’10 reasons why I hate Doctor Who’ if youonly have 6.
    Everyone else who ‘hates’ Doctor Who:If you gave it a try-I applaud you. If you didn’t-you don’t ‘hate’ Doctor Who.How do you know it’s a bad show if you never tried yourself?

      1. what did you expect the doctor to be? a warrior? because he literally becomes one. you get mad because the TARDIS is a phone box, and he uses a screwdriver. well, his name is the doctor, as in a person who helps people. instead of a spaceship with lasers, the makers gave him a phone box, in case you need to call for help. they gave him a screwdriver, to help fix things. they didnt give him laser vision, or super strength. they gave him an extra heart

        1. I had to delete some comments by a slather-mouthed Whovian who was having a rabid OCD induced aneurism of a meltdown because I did not post all 10 reasons for my Hate-fest on Dr. Who. As entertaining as it was – It’s been more entertaining to just delete his three “There and Back Again” length posts. Doing so probably sent him into an epileptic seizure and a stroke.
          The fact that some people do not appreciate the same things that others do – that’s just life, Kids. Deal with it.
          I have friends that LOVE Dr. Who. Good friends. Friends that I call “brothers”. I like to rib them as much as they like to rib me. This was to rib them. It was not intended to step on your manhood. But if your manhood is as such that this rant hurts it… Well, all I can say is that you are just sad.

          1. You said you were an open minded person, but really, all your reasons are pretty close minded.
            Also, you act like a complete asshole, if you don’t mind me saying, in front of people who you think are wrong. You brought this on yourself

  20. Pretty much agree. I can’t stand Dr Who and just can’t get my head around how well it is doing, particularly in the US. For me it just looks cheap and poorly made and the writing is shambolic. Buffy, The X Files – two of the best examples for me of how sci-fi should be done: fantastic stories, excellent acting, top drawer writing.

  21. For a guy claiming he is open minded, you are making very, very closed minded statements. I can’t say I blame you, though. You are correct about most of these things. This is a sci-fi type show, and it’s honing in a lot of drama and silliness. It makes sense that someone with such a massive desire for rational punctuality like yours would hate it. I by no means say it as an insult, but your way of thinking does you little good in enjoying the show, and only proves you to be pessimistic.

    Most people see past all of those reasons. All of those reasons entirely. Dr.Who is a very likable character, who uses his amazing powers for good, and does so in an enticing way that doesn’t just make it seem like because he says so magic. There are consequences for his actions that create a manner of predicaments in the show that are just, really entertaining to watch.

    As hilariously designed and monotone as the Daleks are, it’s amazing how moving their speeches are. What they say, and in some cases, what they feel. It removes the illusion that they are using bathroom appliances to power their science.

    As many plotholes there are in the show, there are just as many endearing, fictional joys to be had from watching it. All you have to do is have an open mind. You are literally watching Dr.Who with the mentality that it will explain the fabric of space and time. Clearly, you have been listening to the wrong crowd of Whovians. Hell, whovians in general, don’t listen to them. I’m not a whovian, I’m not even a normal fan of the show. I watched, like, 3 episodes, and feel like it deserves to be defended.

    So there you go. If by some miracle you happen to read this comment, hopefully you understand my argument and see the show from a different perspective, otherwise, I don’t know, somehow, still gain something from this post.

    1. I’m surprised people are comparing Buffy and X-Files and saying they are better, when they are really AS badly written and funded.

      Still, awesome shows, but come on guys, don’t be hypocrites.

    2. Being open minded does not mean I have to accept crap.
      I am open minded. Enough that I watched 6 episodes before I wrote this.
      Some of my friends think I didn’t give it a fair enough shake. So I watched about 4 more. That was as much as I could stand and it did not change my opinion.
      These extra 4 episodes were from a list of “Best Episodes”, including “Blink” with the weeping angels.
      I still think Who is about as lame as it gets.

  22. Yes, I too hate this show with a passion! Its so unoriginal, the cybermen are just the Borg, and the show is just choosing and picking from all the great Sci-Fi and making a joke of it! How on Earth its lasted 70 years is beyond me! Whovio’s can go watch stargate or star trek, not this nonsense, I mean its had like 9 people playing Dr.Who. Stupid, stupid cliché show! What on earth is a police Booth?!

    1. A police box, not booth.
      It’s called a police box.
      A police box is a British telephone kiosk or callbox located in a public place for the use of members of the police, or for members of the public to contact the police. Unlike an ordinary callbox, its telephone is located behind a hinged door so it can be used from the outside, and the interior of the box is, in effect, a miniature police station for use by police officers.
      These do not exist anymore, because we have mobile phones.

      1. It’s a fecking phone booth that is set to call the police.
        So forgiving me for not using the Brit term for the same thing.

  23. I always feel sorry for people who don’t like Doctor Who. It’s a shame, but they can’t help it. I feel bad for you.

  24. Here are 10 reasons your arguments are invalid.
    1. It’s called “Doctor Who” not “Dr. Who” His name is the Doctor, not Dr. Who. It’s just a title, not his name.
    2. The bad effects and lame monsters are what makes it fun to watch! Where’s the fun in looking at already scary monsters when you can use your bloody imagination and actually see something good out of it!
    3. The “Police Box” aka TARDIS (not “tardis” it’s an acronym) Was actually a real thing in the 1960’s. The chameleon circuit in the TARDIS broke, making it look like a Police Box. And it’s fantastic.
    4. The sonic screwdriver isn’t a bad idea, you just can’t use your imagination.
    5. ^ My point. The whole show is about taking pretty lame things and it’s up to the viewer to use their imagination and make it fun. Because let’s be honest, it’s way more boring to just watch something that’ll give you nightmares.
    6. This show is the longest sci-fi show to ever run. It’s been going on for over 50 years and had millions and millions of viewers, you can’t simply say “it’s a bad show.”
    7. The actors are actually quite good, having the 10th doctor, David Tennant, who has won many awards for his acting, and is one of England’s best actors.
    8. “Changes body” It’s called regeneration. And I think it’s a brilliant idea, because this way, the show doesn’t have to end because an actor gets tired or too old.
    9. “I hate it so much I can’t even do 10 reasons” No mate, you wrote “10 reasons”, you gotta do 10 reasons, not give a pathetic excuse just because you ran out of ideas.
    10. If you have any questions to ask ME, please feel free. Bonus kick in the ass.

    -Sincerely,
    Millions of people who have watched this show for 50 years and we ain’t ashamed.

    1. I’m not Sci-Fi. It’s Fi… but there is no Sci to it. And yes, I can say “It’s a bad show”. Just because a show lasts a long time – doesn’t mean it’s any good. Good shows can get canned and bad shows can continue. Look at Firefly vs Jersey Shore.
      Dr. Who is the Jersey Show here. In case you didn’t catch the jape.
      “9. “I hate it so much I can’t even do 10 reasons” No mate, you wrote “10 reasons”, you gotta do 10 reasons, not give a pathetic excuse just because you ran out of ideas.”
      Nope, again, I can leave it as I did because I knew doing that would irritate you Whovians to no end. And it does. And that pleases me greatly.

      1. dose that mean Star Wars and Star Track is not a sci-fi? ( especially Star Wars since it has much element of Sci as Doctor Who.)

          1. its not a phone booth, it just has an APPARANCE of phone booth… heck in 6th Doctor’s reign it had an episode which had the Doctor fix TARDIS’s chameleon circuit and had it changed to odd objects… only to have it changed back to Police Phone box.
            ( for more info see here: http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Chameleon_circuit) pluse inside the TARDIS it has all things Space-ship needs: http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121229185946/tardis/images/8/8c/Tardis_interior_dark_the_Snowmen.jpg

          2. The Ogre is correct. Despite the trappings, Dr. Who is not sci-fi. It’s fantasy.

            There’s nothing wrong with fantasy; fantasy is great fun. But, if you’re going to be accurate, then you should label the show correctly as being within the fantasy, not sci-fi genre.

  25. The Doctor: Must be a spatial temporal hyperlink.
    Mickey: What’s that?
    The Doctor: No idea. Just made it up. Didn’t want to say ‘magic door’.
    _The Girl in the Fireplace_

    Even so, it’s (Doctor Who) my guilty pleasure.

  26. I’m a hater of Doctor Who, but I like the Daleks. Yeah, they may be the ridiculous enemies to you, but their rants on superiority and extermination caught my attention to like them.

  27. Well sir Matt but you are blind. Doctor Who is a great show but a lot of people don’t unserstand that its SUPPOSED to be corney and reference other Tv shows. I’m very confused about your post and how you did NO research on the topics you discussed and its pretty obvious that you have no imagination and want to see the sci-Fi shoot em ups and endlessly violent movies. Dr. Who is laid back and isn’t as violent as other things. So please, next time you decide to troll. Please sound more intelligent.

  28. The modern series is lazy and childish. The original show was smart and inventive. I hate new Doctor Who but the first 26 years were fantastic.

  29. The whole first show is just an apology for foisting on us an old ugly doctor. I have tried 3 times to get through this episode. It goes on and on about why we should accept and embrace Capaldi. Jenny tries to shame Clara, but Jenny fell in love with someone who is going to look the same for ever, and is not going to change into an old ugly POS . Clara SHOULD be upset. And a giant T-Rex in stomping through London is cheap, really cheap

  30. MadOgre, I hope you find some love in your life.

    Hate is such a strong word, my friend. It makes me so sad to see people get joy out of negativity and being… well, mean.

    Doctor Who is fantasy; it appears you don’t like fantasy. That’s fine, cool. I strongly dislike sci fi; that’s cool though I’m sure there are great shows.

    Honestly, watching Doctor Who could do you a lot of good. Love, acceptance, and appreciation of the different are the themes. Fantastic!

    1. I’ve been married for twenty years and we have six awesome sons. We won’t have another for fear he’ll be born with magic and a tragic destiny. But thanks for the well wish… I hope you find more love than poor Sci-Fi.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>