Dear Ford

Please bring back the Ranger pickup truck.  Other companies still have small pickups in their line up and they are selling well.  The Toyota Tacoma, the Chevy Colorado… What happened to the Ranger?  They didn’t sell?
Did you actually look at the Ranger?  It looked like the front end of an Escort… it didn’t look like a truck.  It looked like a little bitch trucklette.  Now go look at the Tacoma and Colorado.  The look cool.  Look mean and threatening.  That’s what guys want.  Guys spend their money on Sex and Violence and the Ranger had none of that.
Here’s what you do.  Draw a pissed off Ford Raptor.  Shrink it a bit to Ranger size – but somewhat larger, because the Ranger was too damn small.  Drop in your Ecoboost V-6 and give it some serious off road hardware.  Give it a good diesel option.  Give it a V-8 option with an optional 6 speed manual transmission.  Paint it Murder Black. 

Okay, now that you’ve done that – Make an SUV out of it, call it the new fucking Explorer and then Fire the asshole who made the 2012 “Explorer”.  And then hire someone to kick his ass.  And then apologize to America for making the Mother of SUV’s into a little bitch-wagon.

That is all.

19 thoughts on “Dear Ford”

  1. Hi there. I have a 2011 Ford Ranger. That’s the last year. What I read was, the price difference between the Ranger and the F150, was getting fairly close. And the number of Rangers sold had dropped dramatically over the last few years. That being said, one of the Truck magazines has said there is a strong rumor of a new F100 coming out soon. So, Ford does have something in the works.

  2. When I bought my F150, I looked at the Ranger too. The Ranger was only a couple of thousand cheaper, got about the same mileage, and was only a little smaller than the F150. It wasn’t worth the money.
    But, I also think I’m the opposite of you when it comes to small pickups. If I buy a small pickup, I want a small pickup. Most small pickups sold in the USA today are not that much smaller than a full size pickup. And, since they almost all come with 4 doors, that makes the bed they put on them useless. If I am buying a pickup, I want a bed that can hold several 4×8 sheets of plywood without them sticking out of the bed. Otherwise, I would just buy a small SUV.

  3. I looked at the Explorer before I bought my 4Runner. It looked like a crossover. The SUV that kicked off the modern SUV era (with apologies to Suburban, Bronco, Wagoneer) turned crossover! Wussified. I got the 4Runner. The body oozes testosterone. Ground clearance. Truck chassis. ‘Nuf said.

  4. I liked the old F-100, but the Ranger was like someone just said, not worth the money. I have an older 3/4 pu now, and when I look at new pickups, my entire thought process is that they are really not worth the money. I too need the full bed and could care less about the suburban cab. The Ranger cncept by Ogre-San would be a cool truck, but would cost as much as the NWTM full size trucks, imho.

  5. I don’t get the Explorer either. When I first saw one I thought they should have called it the Fledge. The spawn of Flex and Edge.

  6. The Ranger still lives, it’s just a Mazda B2300 (always has been). The problem with small trucks is that with economies of scale in manufacturing and labor, they can cost as much as a big truck. The real problem is getting Mazda to build a truck that doesn’t look like a Mazda3…

    1. The Ranger was never a Mazda built product. Mazda did sell earlier B series pickups badged as the “Ford Courier” before the introduction of the compact Ranger in the US. Once ford released the Ranger in 1983, it was it’s own vehicle which shared nothing with the Courier. In the early-mid 90’s Mazda started selling re-badged Rangers as B-Series pickups. They went away with the Ranger, though Mazda still builds their original B-Series for sale outside of the US.

      That said…Forget the Ranger, bring back the BRONCO. I don’t mean that overweight OJ mobile, but a real bronco. A 66-77 size off roader with real axles front and rear. Don’t forget the removable top like Toyota did on the FJ Cruiser either. Take a hint from Jeep and throw in a real low range transfercase and selectable lockers. Don’t drape the dang body over the frame rails like the F150, actually lift it to clear nothing less than a 32″ tire and leave room in the wheel openings to go bigger/stuff them.

      1. I’ve been saying that about the Bronco for years.

        Ford does some really really stupid things. Killing the Bronco, Ranger, Crown Victoria, and the true Explorer are some of them.

        I am especially pissed about the Crown Vic if I’m honest.

  7. My wife wants a 2012 Explorer. I’m coming to terms with it, because it’s less expensive, and less bitch factor compared to the Acura MDX that she initially wanted.

    Help please. My daily driver is a 1999 Tacoma, but no chance of that working as the kid hauler.

  8. I have a 95 Mazda B-2300 (Ranger in disguise) with 198,000 miles and still going strong. Underpowered, no frills, noisy, about as plain as one can get a truck. Rough ride, not so good gas mileage. But, for all that it lacks, it still runs well and uses no oil. I have no complaints and would most certainly buy another one.

  9. What Southerners really want in a half ton truck.
    -Solid axles fron and rear.
    -Real low range with air lockers front and rear
    -Rock solid 5 speed manual transmission.
    -Rubber mat floors – do these folks thin mud goes with carpet?
    – Real sound insulation.
    -Seats that are not only comfortable but easy to clean!
    -Factory wheels, tires and wheel well openings – that don’t look like they came off a motor scooter or child’s toy.
    -Air-condition system that will freeze you out in 100 degree temps!
    -25 gallon gas tank – minimum.
    -A damn tailgate that won’t rattle.
    -Pre-wired for a winch – front and rear.
    – Easy access to belts, hoses and oil filter without engine disassembly.
    – Real timing chain!
    – Built for use with a high lift jack.
    – Most important – built in gun racks!

  10. Ford’s new-ish “Global Ranger” is a mid-size truck, too close in size to the F150 to avoid taking sales that would be the F150s. The old Ranger was just that. Old. The engines were ancient., safety poor, mileage horrid, etc… Ford sells one “personal” truck in the US (F150) and one overseas (Global Ranger). The F150 is too big for int’l markets, the Global Ranger too small for domestic. Much of the small utility market that the Ranger served has switched to the Transit micro-van.

    A small Ranger isn’t coming to America anytime soon.

  11. They still make the Chevy Colorado? I’m surprised. The sales were so poor, last year GM shut down the local plant that manufactured them and sent a buttload of people to the unemployment office.

    Hardly anybody wants “baby” trucks anymore. Can’t haul, tow or chauffeur crap with them.

    1. I would be very interested in the Colorado. A co-worker just bought one and it’s a very nice rig. Smaller trucks are easier to live with than regular full sized trucks. If you need a bed, four wheel drive, but don’t need to pull huge weights or carry a bunch of people, they are perfect. Toyota’s Tacoma sales show that smaller trucks are still popular.

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