Horsemeat

horse-hamburgerThe UK is all a tissy over the use of horsemeat in processed foods.  And now it’s found in Ikea meatballs.  You would think people were being poisoned.  The truth is that our foods are so over processed that no one would have ever known had the news story not broken and not been run as headlines all over the place.  I’ve never eaten Ikea Meatballs, and now that I know they might have Horse in them… I want to try them now.  Horsemeat is good stuff.  Lean, low cholesterol, and all that… but more importantly… it’s Horse.

I hate horses.  Useless things.  They are expensive to own, and require a lot of care, attention, and food.  And what do they give you in return?  Mountains of shit.  They are nothing more than pretty-eyed shit pumps that make little girls all gooey inside.  Riding them?  Why?  You don’t control a horse, you don’t tell a horse what to do… You ask it.  They have minds all their own and can do things you don’t intend.  Then if you stop and get off it, the damn thing will wander away, or even run, and then you get to spend time trying to get it back.  An ATV or Bike does none of this, and they don’t fart and shit everywhere.  Sure, I’ve crashed bikes.  But I’ve also been thrown from a horse.  It threw me into a patch of cactus.  Then it came over and laughed at me.  My motorcycles have never laughed at me.  And any time I’ve crashed, the bike was hurt worse than I was.   Horses?  Hate the damn things.   Eating them and using them for industrial applications like Glue… I’m all for it.
Wild horses?  They are not a native species… the BLM round ups… I’m fine with.  Use them for Dog Food, Glue, Leather, I don’t care.  Grill them into Kabobs… Sure.  I’ll have some.   The only reason this is an issue is that too many girls wax fantasy and get misty eyes at the thought of ponies and horses with a devil horn sticking out of it’s head.
Don’t get me wrong… Sure, horses had a time and place in History.  So did Spears and Moats.  Now we have internal combustion and fuel injection and GPS.

A horse is just a prettier sack of meat than a cow is.

22 thoughts on “Horsemeat”

      1. You neglected to add that riding horses makes your pant legs smell bad.

  1. Way I heard it, the issue is not so much the fact that the horse meat itself is present, but that horse meat can contain traces of equestrian antibiotics which are poisonous to humans.

    Of course, the same people I heard this from are the ones who fervently believe Nancy Pelosi when she says that collapsible stocks make AR-15s fire full auto, so take it for what it’s worth.

  2. Yeah, its said because of the possible antibiotics, and thats probably true. But for media its better to say Horse meat because they are pretty animals and gets more attention.
    Also, Romania just prohibited horses on public roads. That means lot of people have a lot of useless horses around, and someone saw an opportunity to buy cheap horse and sell it as cow.
    George, did you check out the link I sent to your mail?

    STIG:)

  3. “If wishes were horses then we’d all be eating steak.”

    Firefly quotes make everything a little better.

  4. Now, as for the actual incident directly: well I’d be pretty torqued if I bought a product and it ended up not being what I paid for. I’ve eaten all kinds of different kinds of animals so I don’t find the idea of eating horse that disgusting.

    But as I said, I’d be pretty mad if I went to get some chicken and ended up with buzzard.

  5. Quick aside, I was very pleased to see Crusader Weaponry among the latest list of companies that wont sell prohibited items to NY officials.

    As for horses. I’ve had some in Japan (I also ate whale) and found it to be very good when prepared properly.

    Having worked on an equestrian ranch, I agree with your characterization of horses. Whatever they used to be, they are now giant expensive dogs. I’ve actually seen a horse owner talking to her horse because, “she’s the only one who really listens to my feelings.”

    I heard about the Ikea thing on the radio this morning and I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. I thought maybe there was some sort of religious explanation for people being so upset. But no, they’re just unhappy that they may have eaten a horse.

    Now I can see being upset that they wanted beef and got a little horse mixed in, but the reaction is disproportional to a simple matter of not getting what was expected.

    Ikea meat balls are OK.

  6. I’ve eaten horse in Japan in yakiniku restaurants and if you weren’t told it was horse I bet you wouldn’t know that’s what it was. It’s a bit darker meat when raw which might cause you to ask what is it. I wasn’t impressed with whale or dolphin…overpriced “traditional” food there. Matsuzaka beef, well that is by far the best red meat I have ever had the pleasure to eat.

    Back to the horse, it’s been eaten for centuries but is “taboo” in the ‘States because people don’t like to think about eating their pets or domesticated animals. You’d be surprised what people eat in Asia and developing countries. Just getting over the mental attitude about where food comes from is a big hurdle, but once over you might find that a lot of things are really delicious.

  7. Hey, I’m all for it.

    The more horses they slaughter for meat, the more horsehide will be available to make sturdy and attractive holsters from.

  8. The issue is that horsemeat is not listed as an ingredient on these foods, so the stores don’t know what they’re selling. The antibiotics are present in such low levels that it is impossible to eat enough of the meat (even it is 100% horse) for any significant risk to humans.

    I’m more concerned about horses being turned into glue. When I seal an envelope which bit of the horse am I licking?

  9. Can you ride your motorcycle with both hands free while filling your enemies with arrows? A place for everything.

      1. Well I can drive my truck while firing a glock with one hand and an AR – 15 with the other, all while steering with my knee. Plus I have the advantage of mounting an LMG on top of the cab with a bikini clad hottie operator running the gun.

        Ah yes we all have dreams but lets get back to reality. Mine is biggest. I win so there.

  10. When the story first broke, I they were talking about some bored researcher finding horse and pig DNA in products labeled beef. My co-workers thought that was odd, but I reasoned it’s like making deer burgers and sausages, the meats so lean you’d need to add some pig fat so your patties won’t fall apart! I don’t think I’d eat an ikeia meat ball though, just doesn’t seem right.

  11. Make up yer mind, George! a coupla posts ago you were talkin’ about fishing offa one, an now ya wanta bar-b-que one. Make yer Ogreish mind up, guy!! £B^D}

  12. There are reports that the Romainiun government outlawed both horse and donkey carts on the main roads and it is suspected that there is some donkey meat in supply chain.
    “”Where are you of to Sean.” “I’m going to Bluto’s for a hamburger.” Are ye daft man, it is being said they’ve got donkey meat in them.” “Well when I go to the pub tonight I can say I got some ass this afternoon, and maybe Gladys will look at me differently.” “Sean the only ass you are going to get in this parish will be in the hamburger.””

  13. LOL Ogre-san! You sound almost like Maddox, and are just as funny. Gtrea picture, too. A classic. And, no, I don’t care if I eat horse meat as long as it’s treated right between the range and the butcher shop. Tally ho!

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