I hate Ranch

I’ve said this before… but I have to say it again.  I hate Ranch.  What is called “Ranch Dressing” for dips and salads and sandwiches… Fetid, rotten, vile puss squeezed from a boil on the devil’s buttocks.  It’s the worst thing that people bottle and sell with marketing that shows children happily dipping carrots into it… don’t buy into that false promise, my friends.  For in that way is folly and foul taste.

 

25 thoughts on “I hate Ranch”

  1. I completely agree Ranch is nasty, nasty, nasty. Everyone in the know, KNOWS ya dip yer veggies in Bleu Cheese with some added chipotle.

  2. You just haven’t had GOOD Ranch.

    Thick, and salty. Couldn’t pour it if your life depended on it.

  3. Have to go pro ranch (raunch? ) Have an “intolerance” to eating living mold ( as in blue, or bleu )

      1. DO like and eat mushrooms, cooked or in salad. Living molds ( not fungi, like mushrooms ) are really on a physical level something I NEED to avoid. Ate plenty of Bleu and Gorgonzola when I was younger ( say 15 years ago ) and always wondered way my pants were tight around my middle afterwards, usually for a couple of days. Seems my liver doesn’t deal with some things like large amounts of live mold. Kind of like a allergic reaction for my guts instead of getting a runny nose and itchy eyes.
        Guess it’s better than being allergic to Gluten. Look THAT up. Requires a highly restricted diet to maintain something resembling good health, as gluten is in, well, the bulk of what we all eat and take for granted.

  4. The only way I can eat ranch is if it has something AWESOME like bacon in it.
    Yes, I eat blue cheese by itself as a snack.
    Caryn and I have been together for 7 years, and have bought 4 bottles of ketchup… the bottles were thrown away before they were empty.
    Now MUSTARD… we are some mustard eating fools.

    Jim

    1. I’m with you on the mustard… stone ground, rustic, flavorful… Mustard makes it. The other day, and I kid you not, all I ate all day were hotdogs with kraut and a good brown mustard. I think I ate like 9 of them that day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
      Why?
      Other than they are awesome?
      Had a craving.

  5. I’ve been trying to cut sugar(fructose) and soy out of my diet. I get a craving for ketchup but guess what it has in it. So, I’m trying to make a substitute using tomato sauce. Not there yet but the cayenne pepper sauce, black pepper, vinegar, garlic, and curry powder in the sauce really punched up the hamburger patty.

  6. George,

    You just described how I feel about Mayonnaise. I even make my wife warn me when she’s mixing up Tuna Fish flavored Mayonnaise. I will go up and leave the house for a minimum of 30 minutes. The smell just makes me want to puke.

    When we were first married, she’d buy it and I’d throw it out. Led to some interesting discussions until she realized that I simply cannot have the crap in my house. :)

    1. I used to be the same way about Mayo. I’ve softened and for some reason, I even like Miracle Whip – on a Tomato sandwich especially.

  7. Ogre please, stay away from Miracle Whip. Dukes Mayo is hard to beat. That’s just me. Very much like your website.

  8. Ogre Sir: Dukes mayo is probably a regional thing. It is made here in SC. Kraft is OK (not the miracle whip crap,it may have plastic in it)and Helman’s is also OK on a mater samich. I hear your words when you say you’re not a mayo guy, but you may want to try it. (Dukes)
    Again, gotta say you have a fine website, I visit it daily. Just to let you know, I just obtained a Colt 38 Super polished SS 100 year anniverary model. Love it.

    Respectfully
    Gerald from Winnsboro, SC

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