Some places in this nation are banning magazines.  Simple boxes with springs in them that use the same high level of technology found in Pez Candy Dispensers.   In some of these places you can keep the magazines as long as they were made or acquired before the ban.  So it was said that you have to have dates etched on them.  But so many magazines out there in the world with no dates.  This is of course a bullshit requirement and unenforceable.  So I have a suggestion…. here’s the date to etch:

July 4th, 1776.