My Mormonism is better than yours

I’m Mormon by choice.  Sometimes its a hard choice…. Not because of the Gospel, but because of the People.  Some people.  They are always acting so bloody self righteous and acting as if their Moral Highground is higher than yours.  I’m sick of these people… Check this out…
My wife wrote, produced, and directed the school Christmas play. She took great pains to remove anything that could be offensive to anyone.   Well, thanks to these Super Mormons… Someone was offended.

In one number, children sang while holding hands.  That was offensive.  Third grade boys and girls shouldn’t hold hands. They shouldn’t sing “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause.” Even though its a family song about Mom and Dad having a tender moment together… But they think its about adultry.  How thick do you have to be?  And then their was the hanukkah song that was to immoral for their kids. It was nothing in the song, but because it was Jewish.  Don’t get me started about everything wrong with that…
These ignorant, self-righteous, jackasses are killing everything good about Christmas… Leaving only the empty consumerism.  Well that offends me!  But saying one is offended is useless… No one has a right to go around not being offended.  So instead of being offended, ill just say that you need to get over yourself.

My wife worked hard to make your little precious look cute. It would have been nice to have had a wife at home in the evenings this week… But no… She… We… Sacrificed our family time during this season so you could show us what a self-righteous asshole you are.  It’s people like you that drove me away from my faith before.  Not this time.  I’ll see you at church on Sunday.  And I’ll smile at you too.  Because me being there is more irritating to you than you being there is to me. After all, I’m half Pagan and I can worship all my Gods all at once while I’m there.  It’s one stop shopping for me.  Think about that while your glancing sideways at me, pretending not to look at me.
Merry Christmas.